What the Old Buck had said was true. Not long after the yearling's death the sun remained in the sky longer and the snows began to melt. Soon, the winged creatures returned and the sleeping creatures awoke. As the suns passed into the moons, it became warmer and the trees and bushes budded with tiny, green leaves.

By now the herd had scattered; its members took to foraging by themselves in the lowlands. Only the Old Buck and I remained together. One sun I awoke and found that even he had left. Loneliness swept through me. I missed him.

But I remembered. I remembered the way of the summer.

A new feeling arose in me which I also noticed among most of the emerging forest creatures. I did not understand this mood, It confused me. I could not eat in peace and my mind and body grew restless. I must do something. It reminded me of a strange sort of hunger but nothing I did satisfied it.

Then I understood.

I had been scratching my growing antlers on the rough bark of a tree when I saw a young doe in the distance. She was staring at me. She scratched and pawed the forest floor nervously, and sniffed at the air, her head heaving to and thro rather abruptly.

I caught a stray breeze filled with her alluring scent. It filled me with delight. I knew then that she would bring peace to my restless emotions.

I approached her.

She bounded away from me into the forest. Though it was abrupt, I delighted in her game, and pursued her with equal vigor. Being stronger, I easily overtook her. We slowed to a gait and stopped. I held my head high to exhibit my antlers. Though small, I was feeling quite proud of them.

She came to me and let me lick her face.

As we stood there, the rich melodies of the forest family began to flow in a wonderful way. My body began to tingle with excitement. This was wonderful.

She understood and slowly allowed me to mount her. My body knew exactly what to do. It was the strangest but most wonderful experience yet. Her body moved against mine, and together we flowed into a raging river of sensations. And like a thrilling leap, all my worries left in a climax of excitement.

We separated. I followed her a short distance to a stand of fern where she lay down. I licked her moistness before we fell asleep.

When I awoke I remembered this last experience and asked her what it had been. She did not understand my question and got up to eat. I tagged behind her, having a desire to be protective of her. constantly changing; though puzzling, all I could do was accept it.

The doe was amazed by my ability to interpret for her the forest sounds, sights, and scents. But my constant curiosity was something she could not at first comprehend.

Yet we shared many experiences. As these happy incidents passed I noticed in her a desire to better understand her surroundings. Her ability to communicate was far better than anyone except the Old Buck. She had a basic ability to express herself with sounds, but she mainly used the crude body motions of all creatures.

It shocked me one sun when she suddenly asked, "What is this I feel?"

I could tell she was disturbed. From her gestures and sounds I understood that she had begun to remember the past in such a way as to create in her a curiosity. I was at a loss because I had only been able to share these feelings with the Old Buck, so for me to explain something which confused me was not an easy thing to do. With great tenderness I replied, "You wish to know."

She didn't ask anything more for some time. Instead, she spent a great deal of time feeding. I had no idea a doe could eat so much. Her mannerism change occurred slowly, just as the change in her body occurred. She explained this change by saying that a new life was growing inside her body. As each sun passed, her behavior changed. She reminded me of myself not so long ago. She wished to be more like myself, and this only strengthened my desire to care for her.

Not only did we share in feeding and exploring experiences, but we learned the joy of thoughtlessness. We would bound through the wilderness chasing each other or pursuing the colorful, fluttering creatures. These tiny creatures seemed the most exhilarating to watch and follow since I sensed no fear from them.

One sun, after having been with the doe for a couple of moons, she told me that a fawn was growing in her belly. Though at first shocked, I realized later during the darkness, as my mind churned over recent events, that I had expected this. We had traveled to an unfamiliar hillside in the woodland. She also indicated that it was uncharacteristic for a buck to stay with one doe for so long. But she didn't care and was happy for my companionship.

One chilly and misty sun, as I chewed on a chipped portion of one of her hooves, a peculiar sound disturbed me. An urgent message was being related by the forest sounds: A fearsome creature stalked nearby. By now the doe was also aware of an imminent danger. She looked at me in anticipation of a reassuring explanation. I could not give this to her for this was a very new message for me. As I listened for the intruder's approach my heart began to pound. The forest's perception of this creature was unsettling.

I had not expected rash behavior from her. Before I could restrain her, she leapt from our spot and into view. I dashed after her, ignoring all sense of self-preservation.

I saw my foe.

Before I could return to safety I heard a sound very much like the noise of cloudfire. As a puff of smoke and flash of light pointed out the intruder, the doe fell to the forest floor. There were two of these horrifying, two-legged creatures. No sooner had my mate fallen than did I feel a piercing pain in my side as yet another flash of light and explosion showed me his location behind a tree.

I did not turn to help the doe as I leapt blindly through the forest. I was filled with the bitter realization that the doe's life was gone. Nothing had ever felt so out of place. I had read the death pains in other creatures; I was now reading them in myself. I knew somehow that I should stop and lick my wound, but my confusions and fears urged forward through the woodland.

The red fluid oozing from my side felt warm and sticky, and spread. Ever so slowly the turmoil in my mind and the sharp pains in my body ebbed away. The forest and I slowly seemed to merge. I was falling and my last thought was a fear of this unknown.

I awoke. First, I became aware of an inner weariness and then many pains. Then I heard a peculiar sound. I opened my eyes and saw a frightening creature. This was the land of the dead, I thought. I tried to jump but my exhausted body responded only with a feeble twitch. I looked up in despair at the hulking body before me; at his strange skin and the huge head that was shrouded with the outer coverings of large winged creatures. His face seemed ridiculous then. Then, as I studied him further, I came upon the startling realization that he meant me no harm. He held in one of his fore-limbs an object which, when he shook it, made a sound that calmed my mind. The flowing sounds he uttered from his mouth gave strength to my body.

When he became aware of my awakening he crept down next to me and by his mannerism, explained that he wished to help; that it was not in the way of the forest for me to die. One of his limbs came down and touched me. I immediately stiffened at his caress but I allowed it. Soon I enjoyed it.

He came down closer to me and with his fore-limbs lifted me to my feet. I could not remain standing by myself but with his help was led me out of the strange enclosure we were in.

What little strength I had instantly left when I saw what was outside. I collapsed; not even the strong fore-limbs of the strange creature could hold me up. There were countless of these creatures, doing curious things in the midst of many pointed enclosures--it almost reminded me of the winter herd. They made odd sounds and gestures.

But I detected a nearly absolute peace among them. He half carried me to a small clearing in the center of the pointed enclosures, indicating to me that exposure to the sun would be healing.

Here I observed these strange and peaceful creatures. They were mostly females or young ones and a few that appeared quite old. They all seemed intent on their work, every once in a while uttering sounds to each other that I could not understand. Sometimes they would look at me and I read that they understood my pain. I was worried by the fire and smoke which some of them were near but quickly learned that this was an unnecessary fear.

Overwhelmed and exhausted, I indulged with a last curious glimpse upon this strange scene and fell asleep. When I awoke it was dark. Except, it was a very bright darkness. A large fire blazed nearby and around it sat a great gathering of the two-legged creatures. An object containing fresh water lay next to me and I drank thirstily, disregarding the unfamiliar scent of the container. Next to the water were some delectable greens and I ate of that before returning my attention to what was occurring around the fire.

The creature to whom I had first awakened uttered a wailing sound. When he stopped, the others repeated his song. This happened over and over again. He looked up to a huge moon and then down to the earth at his feet. He bowed low in four directions, traveling in a circle around the huge fire, singing and making a whistling sound. They were the most beautiful sounds I had ever heard--entering deep into my mind. As the moments passed I understood these creatures better. They created in me the warmest feelings I had yet experienced. There were periods of silence when all I could hear was the crackling of the blaze and the creatures of the darkness whose chirping spoke of the nature of things within the forest. In the distance, the hooting of sister owl took from me any lingering feelings of fear. My thirst and hunger were satisfied; all my fears were gone--I had never felt such peace.

Slowly his chant began again. At first he made some deep, crying sounds, as if beckoning for some unseen creature to come. As his chant intensified and the others joined in, I sensed that what had been asked for had been granted. I did not understand but neither was I alarmed. Then as the moon above set into the darkness they stopped the chanting. One by one they quietly left the circle, going to the various enclosures until only the one who had helped me remained by the dying fire. The dancing flames showed his wrinkled face to be exuberant. He remained motionless for some time, occasionally making whispered sounds. Mostly, I only heard the pulsating forest around us. He turned to look at me and peace filled me. He got up and came next to me. I was startled when he suddenly spoke sounds that I understood.

"You have brought much happiness to my people. I am to them as the Old Buck was to your winter herd; I am their chief. How is the pain?"

The beauty of his sounds made my reply take some time. "How do you know of the Old Buck?" I asked.

He made a joyful sound and said, "The forest told me. It tells many things, does it not? Are you in pain?"

"It hurts a little, but I have never experienced such peace."

His colorful face glowed and he said, "that is good. We are creatures of the forest family and as all your brothers and sisters, we live in that harmony. Our ability to think sometimes takes my people astray from this Way but by doing as we just did we can return to the Way. For me in particular the ritual holds greater significance; that is why I am their tribal chief. When the pale, two-legged creatures destroyed the harmony between yourself and the doe, great harm was done to the forest way. Now that harmony has for a while been restored."

I read the old chief's sadness as he witnessed my pain of that memory. I began to feel a bitterness. Then he placed his fore-limbs on my antlered head. The anger receded as he again spoke. "The harm which befell her is gone, so for you to feel this way is not necessary. I understand your loss, but your way and the way of the forest has been cleared. Believe me, I could feel an even greater bitterness with the knowledge I possess of these terrible, two-legged creatures."

He closed his eyes for a moment. "Lately I have gone often to the mountains to visit with a very old friend. She is extremely powerful and can scream and tear you to pieces, but she devours only worries."

He appeared elated by this recollection. I wondered who she could possibly be that she made the chief both happy and fearful.

"She is sometimes terrifying to look upon, and can make sounds such as the cloudfire. But she means you only happiness."

The chief opened his eyes and smiled as he continued, "You will be as a brother to us while you remain here. We will teach you what you must know, and when you return to the depths of the forest you need never fear our kind."

He rose and walked towards his pointed enclosure, leaving me with new and awesome feelings. I licked my healing wound for some time before resigning to sleep.

I awoke to the sounds of busy males. Now I understood why I only had seen the females and young the previous sun, for these male creatures left before the sun rose to go into the forest. I understood from their behavior that they were hunters, much like wolves, which puzzled me since their hunger was not projected toward me.

Thus began my experiences as a brother to this family of the forest.

I felt new strength. Ignoring the pain my stumbling brought about, I rose to better explore the scents of this place. I wished to know these scents well.

As the sun grew warmer, an older female came and beckoned me to follow her. She brought me to a nearby stream and there I drank to my fill. Then she left me to feed on the tasty shrubs bordering the stream.

When satisfied, I thought about disappearing into the safety of the forest. But I was weak and tired. And I also yearned for more explanations from these new creatures, so I stumbled back to my spot in the encampment.

I was startled by the sight of several young ones jumping about, kicking a round stone. I stood there for some time trying to discern what they were doing, but all I could read was a playfulness--like what the doe and I had shared in. There was an unthinking, joyous air emanating from these young ones that thrilled me. This was beyond anything I had yet seen. I wanted to share in their game but knew that I was in no condition to.

A couple of the young ones ran up to me and caressed me in a gentle way. I was a little tense at first. But in their eyes I read how they wished me well. A nearby female yelled a command to them, so they led me to my spot and with a final embrace returned to their play. From there I saw some very young ones who still drank the pleasing fluid of the mother. The other females were occupied with labor that I read as being important to the whole family.

I slept again; the short excursion had exhausted me. When I awoke I found the old chief standing above me. "How are you feeling?" he asked kindly.

His ability to communicate left me breathless. "Peaceful," I said. "I thought today of returning to the forest, but I'm not strong enough, nor did I want to." Then I remembered. "Why do you kill other creatures but let me live?"

"Your way is not to die by our hands, nor by the hands of any one else in the forest. We eat meat as you eat the green plants, for it is the way of those plants to be consumed by you in the same way as some creatures of the forest are hunted by us."

The forest became clearer as he spoke those words. I thought of the instrument which had destroyed the doe and asked, "Who are these creatures, who look so like you, but who destroyed the doe bearing a fawn?"

"My people cannot understand these creatures for they are not of the forest family. I have read their mannerism and know that they bring great destruction. Their mannerism is clouded by a false knowledge, created in their minds without regard to the world that nurtures them -- they are blinded. But it is in their way to learn by this blindness. They are the most destructive of all creatures, even the horror of a forest fire has its purpose."

I could only vaguely understand what he said. "How do you know so much?"

"Just as your perception allows you to read into the nature of the forest, my perception reaches into what lies beyond that Way. You are a truly beautiful creature. The way of the forest is such that it will allow you to seek what you wish, because what you wish will always remain in harmony with the forest."

He then bent down and placed a weathered face against mine for a moment of shared peace and warmth. Such was how these creatures displayed it among themselves. He rose to his hind-limbs and walked over to a female who was busy by a fire. He uttered something to her. She turned to look at me. As he disappeared into his enclosure, she came to me and beckoned me to follow her to the stream. There she indicated that I should step into the water and lay down. I shuddered momentarily at its coolness. She then took something white and creamy from an odd smelling object she had brought along, and began to rub this substance on my body. She massaged my entire body into a soothing glow, and her humming left my mind peaceful.

I lifted my head to lick her face, which made her light up with joy. After some time she splashed cool water over me to wash away the creamy substance. Then she left.

I rested beneath the shade of a large tree, supporting the weight of my growing antlers on an exposed root.

The suns passed swiftly. The old chief spoke more of the way of the forest. I played with the young ones, and watched the tribe live. I returned more and more to the deep forest, but I didn't let too many suns pass without visiting their home. And always they welcomed me with an undying glow which assured another visit.

Two moons had passed when a peculiar sound woke me from a deep sleep. I looked around in the moonless dark and saw the shadowy outlines of huge pines and gnarly oaks, but the sound was no longer there. Perhaps I had dreamed it.

I listened intently. Then I heard several owls hooting a resonating warning. I also became aware that there was a strange lack of sound from the crawling creatures of the darkness in that same vicinity. I became panic-stricken when I realized where a terrible event had occurred.

I sprang to my limbs and thundered toward where the two-legged creatures lived. I was now oblivious to the chirping of sisters crickets or the creaking of brothers frogs, but I became acutely aware of the infrequency of these wonderful sounds as I neared the living area of my friends.

Nothing in my mind prepared me for what I came upon. The cleared woodland floor was caked with foul scents and the life fluid of my beloved family. I felt the bitterness that had once been harmonized resurge when I smelled the pungent odor of the loud instrument of destruction such as I had smelled when the doe had been destroyed.

I read that my two-legged family tried valiantly to survive, but found no life remaining in them as I went from one to another. When I came upon the Old Chief and found the barest trace of life in him, I snorted with joy. I licked the ancient features of his face, and after a while I was aware that his warm eyes were reading me.

"Come, let me share my death with you," he said softly. I crept down next to him.

"Do not feel bitter, for as I die I will clear that which these unthinking, two-legged creatures have done in anger."

It did not seem to matter if I understood what he spoke of. What we were sharing in that terrible place was as calm and warm as anything we had ever shared. I did not know when he died for I awoke from a sleep in which the chief and I had been bounding freely through a beautiful and painless forest. The sun had just begun its arcing path. Slowly I trotted away.

I spent the next moon travelling as far as I could from that place. I yearned for creatures such as they to share the new feelings emerging in me. I was not satisfied in merely reading the forest, for I now felt limited by it.

Soon the chipmunks and squirrels began their curious hoarding of food. The leaves turned bright colors, and the winged creatures flew to places unknown. The deer also began to gather into sleeping groups, and I drifted from one herd to another as each sun rose. Eventually I decided to remain with one of these gatherings.

Then, one sun, I saw him.

The Old Buck emerged from the thicket and approached the more heavily antlered buck who was our herd's leader. He challenged him by kicking at the air and bucking while tossing his head violently. The two faced each other, baying loudly. Power surged through their muscles. The herd made a circle and anxiously watched.

The leader was the first to lunge, but the Old Buck quickly lowered his antlers and kicked himself into the other's path. When their heads collided, it was like time had stopped: the noise was indescribable--a loud crack which tore into the deepest recess of my mind. I closed my eyes, excited but scared.

When I opened them, I saw the two locked in each other's antlers. Pawing madly at the ground, dirt flying, they tested each other's skill. The Old Buck pushed, the larger buck yielded --but only for a moment. He suddenly found new strength and snapped out of the Old Buck's entanglement.

The Old Buck, uncharacteristically agile, leapt into the air, bayed louder than any buck I'd ever heard--it chilled me to the bone--and upon landing, tore headfirst into the unprotected side of the shocked leader. The Old Buck snapped his antlers away at the last moment and merely grazed the other buck's side. He easily could have thrust them into yielding flesh.

The larger buck was confused. He looked at the Old Buck for several silent moments, and then shook his huge head, snorting. Slowly, he walked away, limping a little. Suddenly he leapt into a run and disappeared into the rustling forest.

All my confusions and curiosity rose to their height as I approached the Old Buck. He looked at me for some time, and then from his wizened face I read warmth. He asked how I was.

"Fine," I replied, "but I am very puzzled about myself."

"Indeed!" he retorted. "Is it not true that the knowledge which you seek leads you to an answer which creates an even greater thirst for more?"

There was no need for me to answer.

"You needn't worry, for your way will unfold as it already has begun to. You have passed a great test by having remained alive these past moons. You have certainly learned the way of the forest well; perhaps your way lies beyond it."

He snorted a sort of command for the herd to follow him as he had done so often in the past. Without a question to his authority, we did as he bid.
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