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Thursday January 31st 2008
Kong smashes up a load of taxis and trams and stuff, then him who tried to save her at the top of the mountain turns up in a car and tries to lead Kong off somewhere but we're not really sure what the fuck he's playing at because he seems to just be driving aimlessly with no mention of what he's actually trying to do. He stops his car and then here comes our Ann with a big white light shining behind her. Kong picks her up and they somehow end up in the middle of a deserted ice rink at Christmas, with all trees with lights on them. He sits on the ice and skids around for a while with her in his hand. These two proper love each other - deserted ice rink, Christmas, hand in hand (or whole body in massive monkey hand)...
Some soldiers turn up and start shooting him, so he runs away and climbs up the Empire State Building. They sit there for a while, looking out over the city as she threatens to start on another mission to teach him about the word "beautiful", but thankfully she only gets to say it twice before the planes turn up and start shooting him. He moves her out of the way a couple of times, but she keeps coming back to try to save him but the soldiers don't really care and carry on shooting anyway. He falls off the building, loads of people take photos, hero turns up at the top to kiss the woman, then Jack Black ends the film with some sort of philosophical bullshit about how "beauty killed the beast" or something.
I did enjoy how they made Kong really badass (the Tyrannosaurus fight was ace), but really they could have put some more effort into the animations. I'm almost certain I'll never ever watch this film again (I got a sore arse about 2 hours into it and spent the last 45 minutes shifting around trying to get comfy), but there was plenty of fun to be had if you like dinosaur fights and stupid creatures and things like that. There's a hell of a lot of bollocks in the script, but I reckon it's probably worth 3 quid if you're stuck for something to watch one night. I would have been unhappy if I'd paid 6 pound something to see it at the cinema, that's for sure.
I give this film 6 out of 10 satisfying slaps around a student in Asda's face, purely for all the battle scenes. Ignore the rest, cos the talky bits weren't that great.