My, how time flies! It seems like only yesterday I was pulling into the driveway of Hapner Hall as a lowly freshman. Little did I know how much this place would change me. I never knew I could learn to tolerate 24 girls for 9 months. I never knew I could get along so well with a roommate I had never met before. I never knew I could get used to eating semi-food 3 times a day. I never knew Target could be so fun. I never knew I'd be threatened within an inch of my life, only to find out it was a JOKE all along (see "Other News"). I never knew Ramen would become such a big part of my life. I never knew I'd join a sorority. I never knew washing dishes would take preference over studying. I never knew I'd find out how stupid I really am. I never knew I'd miss my family so much. I never knew link tag in the snow could be such a blast. I never knew I'd find my biggest fans. I never knew Ally McBeal could be so important. I never knew I could look in the mirror and think, "Man, I'm hot!" I never knew "You Don't Own Me" could make me go wild. I never knew how many different colors a human being could dye her hair. I could never have imagined what was in store for me here, and there are many things I'm still trying to figure out. Now, as I change from a lowly freshman to an almost-as-lowly-but-not-quite sophomore, I think about the things I will find out in the years to come. Some will be good. Some will be not so good. But all will make great stories, and that's really what it's all about!!
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
A German tourist walks into a McDonalds in New York City. When it is his turn to order, he asks for a beer. The man behind him in line rolls his eyes and says, "They don't serve beer her you moron!" The German turns a bit red from embarrassment. Then he smiles and begins to laugh. The man behind him, a bit offended, asks, "What are you laughing at?" The German responds, "Oh, nothing, I just realized that you came here for the food!"
RANDOM ACTS OF.INSANITY:
Gina-being the considerate friend that she is-told Stephanie she could borrow her car to go home one weekend because Stephanie's isn't exactly "road-worthy" (you'll see why.). So, here we are left with Stephanie's little vehicle. In search of the grain elevators, which Gina had to photograph for a class, we set off in the red mobile. Unfortunately, we had absolutely no idea where the grain elevators were. It didn't help that Gina forgot the address but thought she remembered it. Come to find out, she had completely pulled that one out of thin air, and we were never anywhere close to any grain elevators. Anyway, while still in search, we came to a stop light at a busy intersection. Of course the car dies. However, we cannot get it started again. So there we were in the middle of the line of traffic, with a green light, unable to move. The important thing is always not to panic. We failed miserably. Luckily a nice man behind us said he would push us across the intersection into the parking lot across the street. When the light turned green again, we sailed across the intersection laughing. Wouldn't you know it! The minute we got across the street and into the parking lot, the car started right up. Needless to say, we didn't find the grain elevators that day, and had another stalling incident on the way home. We don't borrow Stephanie's car anymore.
QUOTE CORNER:
"I crack myself up with my sickity." -Gina C.
DEEP THOUGHTS:
� If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too because, come on, life is funny!
� I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean clothes because, seriously, who wants to do laundry on the last day of their life?!
WORDS FROM THE WISE:
My family is building a new house. During Easter break, I wanted to go see what was done so far. Easter day, my family and the Yeleys all piled into our suburban to go take a look at the house. Unfortunately, the house was locked, and we had no key. All the windows that were actually reachable from the ground were made of glass blocks, which are impossible to see through. Well, my first instinct (coming from a long line of breaking and enterers) was to try the ol' credit-card-in-the-door trick. Then I remembered that I don't know the credit-card-in-the-door trick, and I don't come from a long line of breaking and enterers, so that was out. Then someone observed that the ceiling had not yet been put on. We decided that Jeff, being a pole vaulter (and the least important), should climb over the wall and let us in. There was only one problem-the wall is ten feet high, and from the outside, it's about twelve, so we couldn't exactly lift him over. Feeling determined, I decided to find a way in! I walked around the house and saw a beam lying on the ground with zigzagging boards connecting two 2x4's. I said, "Hey, Dad, he could climb up this." My dad turned around with a look on his face like he already knew it was going to be a bad idea. However, he seemed to light up when he realized what an intellectual I had become in college, and that all that money he was paying was certainly going to good use. Jeff successfully scaled the "ladder," and we got to see the house. The moral: Breaking and entering is okay as long as you bring Brit and Jeff.
MY SISTER THE RETARD:
Blake had a temporary case of turrets syndrome at the grocery store. My mom had given us a list of groceries to buy along with her cell phone incase we had any questions. I told Blake to carry the cell phone, and she had no complaints. As we walked through the store, she kept referring to me as "retard" or "stupid" or something like that instead of my name. I was starting to get embarrassed because she began saying it quite loudly. Soon, however, the embarrassment was passed along. She was overly eager to use the cell phone because it was a public place and she would "look cool." Finally, she got her chance. I didn't know how many rolls to get, so I had her call my mom to ask. When my mom answered, my sister was talking to her and me at the same time, so it sounded a bit like this: "Mom, how many rolls should we get? RETARD! No not you. IDIOT!! I'm not talking to you. Because there are different amounts in each bag. STUPID!" I laughed as people tried not to stare at her! Later when I told her what she sounded like, I think we both agreed that she ended up looking like more of a RETARD!
SAY WHAT?!:
Don't tell me that names don't matter because they do, and here's a little story to prove it. Gina had a cat named Pookie, but it died. She had a second cat that she named Fido, but after a while, she began to miss good ol' Pookie. She decided to rename this cat Pookie. That week it got ran over by a car. When Gina told me this story, I said (after I finished laughing hysterically of course), "Oh no, Gina! It committed suicide because it was confused!" I can just picture the little cat sitting by the road thinking frantically, "What's my name? What's my name? Oh here comes a car!!" Verrrooooooom! In conclusion, I think it would be wise to consider names very carefully before passing them off onto a helpless being.
OTHER NEWS:
The truth comes out-remember that prank that was played on Gina and me at the beginning of the year? Well, we just recently found out that it was our "friends" across the hall who were in the room (not all at the same time they pointed out) "scared" with us. I would just like to say one thing-not funny.
SIGN OFF:
A pig is a pig.
A gippy pig is a gippy pig.
A boy is a boy.
But a boy who is a pig is not only a pig, but a gippy pig as well, and sometimes gippy pigs find that the only thing they can do about being a pig is to just go ahead and be gippy because it's only a matter of time, you know.
-brit
