The horns start playing softly as a graceful figure enters the stage in a large red jacket. She lifts her left hand up and then she brings it down silencing the horns so that she can speak.
"Good evening everyone." she says and a smile plays over her cherry lips. She moves a streak of red hair behind her ear before continuing. There is a book between her hands and chest pressed tightly to the skin.
"Today I will tell you a wonderful story." she hints wincing and performs a bow mischievously.
"It is..." she begins and opens the book from the middle turning its pages for the audience to see. Her head tilts to the right.
"...a story about love."
She moves the pages to reveal a picture in the book. In the picture there is a man kneeled to a woman and he holds a rose in his hand. They're both young and vital and the way they both look excited appeals to the audience. It�s almost surreal.
Like a dancer she takes a long step backwards and spins her body like a ballet dancer over one foot. She is starting to seem like a jester with her precisely picked wicked words and graceful dance. She laughs and the laugh is as natural as the sun.
Her hands close the book above her head. Her smile widens into a an evil smirk.
"In the land of tAS there is an admin and that admin has always been an idiot, so it is up to me to help her understand herself. Therefore I release a magical musical plague upon The Alternative Space!"
The sounds of roaring drums fills the room as the stage goes black leaving only one spotlight pointed at our mysterious storyteller. She straightens her arms in front of her and drops the book in them to the ground.
"Excited, aren't we? Kjeh kjeh kjeh kjeh..." she giggles, but it is no giggle of joy. It is the giggle of evil plotting.
"Allow me to tell you the story of 'A Love Medley'." the phrase is followed by a another ridiculously exaggerated bow. And as our mysterious guide leaves the audience by stepping out of the spotlight, insane laughter is followed.
THE FIRST AND LAST ACT
- 'Syrai's mental ilness is a good excusee'
It rained in the Alternative Space and the rain was driving Syrai insane. Not once during her reign had the board's weather been so off before. Yet it wouldn't have turned into a problem if she'd been able to actually do something about it instead just yelling at the Magnolia what a stupid and useless piece of plant the flower had turned into.
Her power didn't channel through it well enough and that's why the weather was uncontrolled - it reflected her own chaotic feelings that were put between Sark and... Connor.
So the guy was sexy and hot, but she'd gotten her share of it already! It was the time for Sharkie! Connor was getting so old. She didn't need him - not by long shot.
Yet the weather in tAS was screwed up and she couldn't let go off the anger he brought along every time he did one of his stupid stunts to win her back. She might've considered - if Connor had had some style at least! But no - her ex fling was not only boring, but oh-so stupid! Unlike...*sigh* Sharkie...
Syrai would've gotten rid of Connor a long time ago if it hadn't been for the simple fact that ever since the times in AD there'd been a shadow in the back of Syrai's head... D.
That bitch was haunting her all the time lurking to gain control and jump into Connor's arms. One of the not-so-fun sides in having a split personality.
Since the day D was discovered S had had a continuous power struggle with her and since they were equally strong and dedicated to their cause (Syrai's being Sharkie and D's being Connor) it was hard to Syrai to keep control.
Syrai quite frankly had no idea why D was so fascinated in Connor... ohkay she did, but she was trying her best not to let her psycho second consciousness fool her into anything with the guy.
The girl sighed and moved her legs over another chair sinking deeper into the comfort of her own armchair. Her boots were wetting the other chair but she didn't mind for her mind was set on something else quite obviously.
She held an orange tin in her delicate hands observing it with her misty eyes. Kitty had given her that tin filled with some medicine, when BS had forced her to go into the infirmary. Kitty had explained that the medicine would keep D away from S, but S knew her archenemy better than anyone and a little blue pill wouldn't keep her off Syrai's back.
Her wet mousy brown hair went across her face even though she'd tried to tame it a couple of times already. After rushing over to the Party Hut from the Hugging Room under extreme frustration and in a downpour her leather look was pretty much spoilt and she'd have to ditch her beloved jacket so it could dry up a bit.
Now she leaned over her bent knees and rolled her sleeves over her elbows on the way up. It was still raining hard outside and the pool had flooded two hours ago. Luckily the roof of the Party Hut held still and the rain didn't reach her inside.
She could only imagine the misery of others in this weather. F had to be screaming in her cellar, for that was the first place the flood would affect. Syrai barked with laughter and took her hair from her back trying to squeeze the water from it with poor luck.
The wet hair had imprinted a wet stain to her shirt and it was making the cold wind freezing. She shivered a bit and stepped down from the two chairs walking over to the bar to get a cherry-ice-cream-cider-cocktail. She needed that to calm her nerves, so she made herself a second cherry-ice-cream-cider-cocktail carrying now both of her cherry-ice-cream-cider-cocktails to her chair.
She knew he was coming long before she saw him and the realization just made her drink the alcohol faster. Syrai had trouble facing the guy sober so a few drinks wouldn't make things any worse. Well she might be a bit off, but it was better than to actually understand what Connor had to say once again.
She snorted. He had way too much to say to her every time they met. Way too much.
Connor's steps on the floor of the Party Hut made tension gather in Syrai�s body. She emptied the rest of her glass into her mouth and closed her eyes hoping that the small amount of alcohol could magically make her pass out.
Then again only God know how that sick bastard would use the situation to his advantage then, Syrai grimaced as a revolting after taste filled her mouth.
She moved the glass a bit smelling it. She came to the conclusion that the glass was not entirely clean, for her cherries couldn't be causing the y�k-taste in her mouth - no way.
Oh, but it could be Connor that makes everything taste bad, she convinced herself enjoying that thought. There was some thought buried deep in her head telling otherwise though...
"Syrai." Connor said sitting next to him over the chairs.
Syrai didn't even give him a glance when she'd already barked: "Asshole." And the strangest thing possible happened - he laughed.
Syrai couldn't quite cover the fact that his warm laughter had surprised him not to mention the fact that his laughter made her stomach... tickle like there were butterflies inside.
"What?" Connor asked and rose walking over to the bar. He jumped over to the bar table with a single graceful jump that made want to moan.
"Well, I say you're an asshole and you start laughing." Syrai explained calmly. "That makes a girl think that maybe I ain't the only one with mental problems."
Connor was still sitting on the bar table pouring himself something to drink. "Oh, yes-" he tilted his head. "-your psycho second personality has a crush on me and that is the reason why you kiss me and then you slap me..." he raised an eyebrow and lifted his glass in the air as if he was making a toast.
"Exactly!" Syrai nodded pleased of the fact that he had finally understood how things went.
Connor drank from his glass and threw it to Syrai's feet then, breaking the glass into a million pieces. "Bullshit Syrai! At least you could be a woman enough to admit it!" he stated.
Syrai bit her tongue to keep herself from exploding. So Connor didn't believe her? Big deal.
The girl sighed and leaned backwards on her chair. She looked outside where rain still demolished her beautiful flower arrangements and BS's summer decoration furiously. She was stuck here with Connor and there was no telling if D would decide to stop by and decide to vow for her undying love for Connor.
Now lets think again... how did Kitty put it again?
'Uuuuh... Im sorry S, but it would seem that the choise between Connor and Sark wasn't happening and it was threatning your psyche or something so your brain decided to solve the conflict by creating an alternative persona.'
'Excuse-me?!'
Yeah... Her future was bright indeed.
Syrai realized suddenly that she'd bit her tongue numb. Damn. When she stopped biting she felt the taste of blood fill her mouth. "�euh..." she mumbled trying to swallow.
"Did you say something?" Connor asked already drinking his second glass. S had no idea what the shit he was pouring down his throat was, but if it made him more tolerable she didn't care.
"Bitmytongue"
Connor shook his head. "Say again? Bite my tongue?" he asked already looking like Syrai was giving confusing signals again.
Syrai threw her hand through the air in front of her aggressively to quiet Connor. Connor, who was already a bit off, just turned his back and concentrated in playing with Maria's bar and its many flavors of alcohol.
Sulking about Connor's presence Syrai hid in her chair and pressed her body against the stuffing in hope that if she ignored him he might go away. Connor had no intention of doing anything, welll, except for drinking a bit. He hadn't come to the Hut chasing Syrai, but she didn't have to know that.
Finally when Connor's third glass was going down Syrai encouraged herself to talk. "I know... I�m not pretty when it comes to you... Hell - I�m not even cute! But that's just 'cause you annoy me!"
Connor made a sound of some sort and put the glass to his lips again. "You weren't like this when you first met me and basically threw yourself to my feet." He noted cynically making Syrai turn red.
"I did not!" she threw back twisting her face at him.
"How easily you forget..." was his answer.
"Yeah its easy when there's nothing to forget!"
Syrai knew she'd gone too far the same minute the half full glass hit her chair. Connor didn't look too happy, when he walked over to her. "I come home and you turn into a manic-depressive nutcase! I'd take that I really would, but since you deny even the fact that you used to love me, I just can't let it go!" He'd grabbed her shoulders during that speech and shook her real hard.
Syrai's eyes had turned into two thin lines. "Well the sun went down while you were gone, honey!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"I can't see it in your eyes! You're lying!" Syrai's hand landed over Connor's chest for awhile. A slow guitar started playing in the background but neither of them tried to fin the source of it.
They stared at one another. Then as the drums joined the guitar Syrai pushed him away.
"All surface no feelings" she sang placing her hand to her hard.
Her foot was tapping against the floor with the rhythm. "Thin as air! Cold as snow!" her hand fell from her chest along with the cold words that reflected her mood.
Connor had frozen ever since begun her song and now as Syrai lifted her hands up and walked over to him singing he was getting angry:
"Welcome home just in time for twilight! Welcome home just in time for fadeout!"
As Syrai reached him she put her hands to her hips. "Now am I getting through?" she asked bitterly. There was tension gathered in the corner of Connor's mouth. "Two can play this game." he stated as the melodic guitar took over the background.
Connor stared at the floor as if he was waiting for a sign when all of the sudden he began singing. "I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrifice-" he pulled Syrai closer and with his arms around her he whirled them both around for a couple of times before he let her go and she fell to the floor.
"-and I was the one who was lifting you up when you thought your life had had enough!" Connor nearly ran to her rescuing Syrai from the ground as he moved his hands under her armpits and lifted her up into his arms again.
Syrai escaped his voice and tore herself away from his arms as soon as she could, but it was no use for Connor was already one step ahead, so when Syrai got free, he caught her arm and pulled her back.
He ran his hand down her face never touching her skin though. "When I get close-" he sang and placed his hand on her cheek making Syrai step away from his reach and turn her back on him.
"-you turn away!" he continued facing North while Syrai faced South. Connor eyes reflected pain. "There's nothing that I can do or say..."
Yet he turned around bravely and came to her kneeling before her. "So now I need you to tell me the truth, you know I'd do that for you!"
As the music in the background grew more anxious, he rose to his full height standing there taller than she did. Frightened by his song Syrai turned away again with the solid intention of running to the Hugging Board and writing a Chat Rule that would prevent Connor from ever singing to her again.
Yet Connor hadn't reached his Grand Finale yet, so he sprinted ahead of her blocking her way out. He started walking slowly forwards forcing her to back up. "So Why are you running away?" he asked and sang again: "Why are you running away?"
The song faded as a new beat took over the air. Connor was about to open his mouth, when Syrai poked his chest with her index finger before she began singing softly:
"I hate the world today." she looked around her and turned up her nose as if tAS was suddenly annoying her just by being here.
Then she turned to look at Connor. "You're so good to me-" she began wondering if it was possible to even like him, but she ditched the thought soon enough and ended the line by snapping: "-I know but I can't change!"
Syrai shuddered as she sang with her fine voice she faced Connor's admiring look and started considering if he even heard the words she sang: "Tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath!"
Taking a tiny break she stopped in front of Connor again to say her words as clear as ever: "Innocent and sweet"
Her eyes were telling that that just wasn't the case.
Connor looked amazed as he grabbed her shoulders under some sort of an inspiration: "Baby, there's something going on today!!" he explained finally understanding that they were singing to one another. Syrai threw his hands off her shoulders angry because he had interrupted her big number.
Connor looked at the air opening his mouth to see if anything came out. An entire verse came out: "But I say nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing!"
After all the nothings her turned to Syrai enthusiastic about this weird singing that was going on. "Syrai?" he asked, when she had pointed her attention somewhere else.
And then when she finally seemed to notice Connor a smirk had appeared and she ran to the bar table stepping on it.
Colorful spotlights started to circle the room once she was up and singing and dancing: "I'm a bitch! I'm a lover!" Connor's eyes widened to her ass shaking, when she really began moving her body. "I'm a child! I'm a mother!"
Her hand reached out to him as if she wanted to call him closer. He came and when he was close enough she just pushed him away from his forehead.
"I'm a sinner..." she hinted and squatted leaning to Connor again with her eyebrows playing a game of "temptation of the month".
"...I'm a saint" she claimed and gave a virtuous position crossing her hands to her chest.
"I do not feel ashamed!!! Syrai threw herself down from the counter allowing Connor to catch her. Then as he held her she tied her hands around his neck petting his hair.
"I'm your hell, I'm your dream. I'm nothing in between. You know you wouldn't want it any other way!" As Syrai sang her last lines and the disco lights turned slowly into dark red, she slapped him again and ran to the bar table sitting on it and then she giggled.
"That was fun." She laughed.
And weird... was her own addition in her head.
In the dark a spotlight appeared above Connor and a mike was thrown at him. He caught it with a simple move and span before his knee landed down on the ground and he brought the mike to his mouth.
Syrai stared in horror. "No!" she whispered, but her pleads made no difference. There was a shine in Connor's eyes and soon after the guitars and drums exploded into a fiery chorus.
"But you stole the sun from my heart!"
Connor straightened his arm and pointed at Syrai singing over to the
mike he'd taken to his right shoulder. This way he could give Syrai
amused glances without her noticing it.
"You stole the sun from my
You stole the sun from my heart
You stole the sun from
You stole the sun from
Aaaaaahhhhh!"
Syrai though couldn't deal with it so she ran to 'his stage' and took the mike from him. The beat of the music changed again to a more slow one. "They say I've been drivin crazy..." Syrai sang straight to him.
"-and it's keepin you away." during the small pause she formed the words 'stay away' with her lips and grimaced at him.
She took one step and then a second one closer to him. "So just give me one good reason. Tell me why I should stay?" her voice changed for now this song was definitely turning into an attack.
"'Cause I don�t wanna waste another moment in saying things we never meant to say!" And with just that she tensed her body in pride and hit the mike to Connor's chest.
Connor opened his mouth giving a faint 'auch' before taking mike. If it was war she wanted, it was war she'd get!
Connor eyed her for a second and they both threw dirty glares. "Well are you gonna sing or not ya loser?" Syrai asked after awhile.
"Whatever my lady wants..." Connor suggested making Syrai turn red again. "Not your-" Syrai's complaint was interrupted by the fact that Connor pulled her against him and placed his hand over her tummy. Those butterflies began their fly again in her stomach.
"Oh, can�t you see?" with Connor's soft voice the guy should've been a member of the Backstreet Boys, Syrai thought, when he stopped to kiss her neck and place his face over her shoulder.
"You belong to me." He tightened his grip pressing her tighter against him. "How my poor heart aches-" Connor closed his eyes, but Syrai wasn't there to see it for she'd already closed hers.
When her stomach rose as she breathed in he finally whispered the final words: "-with every breath you take."
Depression came after his song. So when Connor let her go and offered the mike, Syrai didn't grab it in order to sing a song that would involve chainsaws and bleeding hearts, but she walked away from the spotlight and back to her armchair sitting down.
Connor watched her surprised of such a reaction. Syrai herself put her hand over her hands that leaned against her knees. Her hair fell over her face like she wanted to hide, but when Connor was about to approach desperate tunes began playing again.
A dark guitar took the show and the lights faded above Connor turning blue and moving over to Syrai. Syrai waited a second before she lifted her head again.
"What you want-" she swallowed.
"-and what you deserve."
Connor came to her. "Don't look for it in me!" she yelled and swung her arm through the table by the chair knocking the bottles on the table to the floor.
"I'll only let you down!" she tried to explain ending up just staring into the dark all apathic. "I know I've been there too many times"
Connor felt relieved that she wasn't angry anymore, so he jumped to the chair next to hers and took her hands in his face trying so hard to convince her that he was everything she wanted.
He held her hands for a second before starting another song with his beautiful voice: "I've been stripped of everything, except some flesh that bleeds"
Syrai looked at him in disbelieve. More love songs?
"And i've been robbed of everything-" he let go off her hands and leaned closer.
"Except a soul... except a soul that needs-"
His face closed in on Syrai's with threatening speed. She didn't pull back. Later on she claimed that she'd been too busy concentrating on the song.
"-you - sweet you." Connor was about to kiss her on the lips, when Syrai stood up, making Connor lean too further away so that he basically fell over Syrai's chair.
Outgoing tunes of rock starting frizzling in the air again, when Syrai turned around to look at Connor's fall. "Too much - too fast maybe!" she sang lifting her hands between them.
When Connor fumbled off the armchair, she put her hands in her pockets shuddering at him. "I don't know where my destiny's taking me. So I'll go wherever it leads me."
So when Syrai looked down to him arrogantly like he was making himself the 'clown of the year' Connor's eyes lit.
He jumped to Syrai pushing her down with his bodyweight and he kept her there to make sure she wouldn't run. "Connor!" she whined, but it was already inevitable to hear him sing.
Syrai tried to claw herself free, but that only made him tie her wrists together with his hands. "I've been biding my time, been so subtly kind. I've got to think so selfishly, 'cos you're the face inside of me!" Connor announced looking down to her with his eyes shining in a very creepy way.
"Huh?" Syrai felt embarrassed of his outburst. Yet her question mark face only provoked him as he leaned down to her. "I've been biding my days, you see evidently it pays." His hand worked its way under her shirt, which made Syrai grab his wrist.
"I've been a friend, with unbiased views, then secretly lust after you..." Connor husky voice caressed Syrai's senses, but she had no intention of staying here in this most dangerous position so during the high point of Connor's Skunk Anansie imitation, Syrai managed to slid her leg between their bodies and kick Connor offher. She began creeping away as fast as she could certain of the fact that Connor had gone completely insane!
...then secretly lust after you...
Well there was nothing secret about Connor lusting after her that was for sure! The whole thought made Syrai want to vomit... or at least her stomach began acting weird again.
"Too cheap and too scary! Too creepy, too merry!" she yelled the lyrics to Connor who was still on the ground suffering from Syrai's kick. When the blonde beauty finally got herself back up she wiped the dust and dirt off her clothes apparently pissed off.
Connor was able to sit as well. He noticed her shadow appearing over him. "Too serious, too mysterious!" Syrai pointed at him with her finger.
"And way too, way too - deep."
Connor was angry at her. You could tell by his face. His beautiful voice turned rough and there was nothing boyish in the tight mask that took over his face. "You make it easy to love you and hate you!" He insulted face twisted with negative emotions.
"Shut your mouth - if you can do it!" Syrai growled back.
Again they were face to face and fighting.
When Connor looked down to her he knew they'd been singing for awhile without actually solving anything.
"They say follow your heart - follow it through!" he dared her.
Syrai's index finger pressed her temple: "But how can you? When you�re split in two?"
The tempting and passionate song had taken over. They were both breathing at each other's necks exhausted and... welll... y'know.
Connor moved making her back down again. Bad for Syrai he could see where they were going and when she hit the armchair falling over it. Connor was over her the same second.
"One more kiss-" his hand sunk into her hair and face closer. "-before we die."
Above all she feeling weak under his power. She was beginning to bend. Syrai breathed heavily gazing at him trapped in a thought so intensive that she had to answer him: "I want this bliss!"
Yet when Connor was about to kiss her she pushed him away again. "But something says I must resist!!!"
Syrai tried running to the door convinced that she couldn't get anymore messed up. Her heart was pounding like hell and Connor was beginning to seem tempting!
"And he would take such good care of us..." said a voice in the back of her head. "You - shut up!" Syrai couldn't relax. What if...
She couldn't finish the thought before Connor was there again. "What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair; To touch your lips, to hold you near." his hand went through her hair and eyes were longing for a kiss.
Thorn Syrai could do nothing but come closer. Her face was melting from the iron look into a longing one against her will. "There's a part of me that just wants to do everything you say..." her hand went into his.
And boy was Connor happy. He was so happy that he decided to perform another sappy love song: "And I will love you, baby - Always!"
Luckily that was enough to wake Syrai up. "There's an other part that just wants to turn around and slap your face!" The punch she gave him was nothing like a slap and Syrai too understood that - when she saw Connor moan in pain and hold his face after she'd basically punched his face in.
Frustrated, angry, pride broken he did a sour face admitting his flaws: "When you say your prayers try to understand: I've made mistakes - I'm just a man."
He still held onto his cheek that had turned red. Syrai felt kinda sorry for punching him, but all that... rage was just pretty hard to keep inside. She swallowed looking as Connor tried to mend his cheek back to life.
Then her worst fear came true...
The piano began playing. "I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes... A little righteous and too proud."
An apology!
Right after she'd said those words, her hand flew to her mouth to keep the rest inside. She knew this song and there was no way in hell she was gonna sing the rest of it!
Connor had frozen, so Syrai took the opportunity and ran to the door. She stepped in the rain wetting herself completely after the two first seconds. Her shoes were filled with mud before she'd taken even a dozen steps.
Connor's perfect soft 'boy band voice' reached her ears: "Tell me you love me! Come back and haunt me!"
Syrai had no idea why turned around to see him stand by the door. Her face was now showing sorrow. There was a heavy lump in her throat. Her eyes were burning and she couldn't think of anything smart to say to him.
"I hate to stay!" she tried to explain more to herself than to him. "But then I hate to leave..." she realized before she ran to him throwing herself into Connor's passionate embrace and the kiss that followed.
The rain stopped right after.
THE END
© Forsaken 2004
Clich� - Twilight // Hoobastank - Running Away // Meredith Brooks - Bitch // Travis - Sing // Manic Street Preachers - You stole the sun from my heart // Michelle Branch - Breath // Police - Every breath you take // Clich� - More than you wanted // VAST - I don't have anything // The Rasmus - Madness // Skunk Anansie - Secrectly // The Rasmus - Last Waltz // Garbage - Shut your mouth // Siouxie and the Banshees - Face to Face // Jon Bon Jovi - Always // Jennifer Brown - Weak // Delta Goodrem - Lost without you // Coldplay - Scientist //
Detication: to Syrai because we all know she should be with Connor. (Sark? Blaah... *shakes head*)
Thanks to: Kris for the challenge back in tAS, Syrai for the help during the writing process and Addy for some wonderful inspiration. *bows*
A/N: I know. Anyone else might shake her/his head and wonder why I keep doing this to myself. I mean, I'm basically begging for a kick in ass! No not really. Ohkay, I have estimated that Syrai will find this fic within 4 minutes and it'll take her several more to read it. I still have time to run to my hole and burry myself there ^_^
(But secretly we all know that she loves this piece and Connor as well so she wun really be mad mad, but she'll just pretend to be mad mad 'cause she doesn't want me to know how she feels about Connor. *nods*)
Next Chapter? I have no intensions of continuing this. This is A STANDALONE. Get that? Good... (because my last standalone isn't apparently a standalone according to you guys...*sighs*)
What am I gonna say to the jury?
jury - You, Syrai, have been found guilty of summoning-
Syrai - Wasn't me! I know! I saw... Sue do it!
D - Or the bunnies! It was the bunnies!
jury - Ahem... for summoning a musical demon to tAS and therefore you will be taken to the Underworld to be the dancing demon's Queen and childbride.
Syrai - Don't tell me its that same chili-face guy as it was in Buffy!
jury - Yes?
Syrai - Euh... Eewwwwwwwww.
D - Take me! Take me!
Syrai - Shut up! Ya made me kiss Connor!
D - DUH! That was you honey!
jury - Anyways... this is your punishment for summoning the Lord of the Dance.
me - Euh... that'd be me.
Syrai - F!
me - Well I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs! I just wanted to make sure we'd work out - get a happy ending. (well for you and Connor anyways) *rolls eyes*
jury - I think everything worked out just well.
me - Does this mean that I have to... be his Queen?
Lord of the Dance - Its tempting, but I think we'll wave that clost just once!
jury - Sustained.
me - Is there something wrong with me!? Er-Hel-lo? Dammit... I get a once in a lifetime chance to become a Queen in a demon dimension and the damn demon wun have me!
Spike - I'll have you!
me - Riiiiiiiiiiiight...
One last word: Ihavenotlostmymindandgoneinsaneandmantherestoomuchstuffthatyouwununderstand-
ifyahaventseenoncemorewithfeelinganddunknowmineandsyraisstupidsconvos! (that's not a word? Welll whadda ya know...)