December 20, 1999

Dear Family and Friends:  Yes, I know that this is a joint letter---but if you are holding this then rest assured that you will be receiving a more personal letter after the holidaze are over!!! I really don�ft like sending them, but I am just completely out of time.  Sorry�c

I can not believe that the year is almost over. There really is so much to say in this letter that I don�ft know really where to begin. I had hoped to get an individual letter into the mail before the New Year, in the event that I am wrong about Y2K and can�ft reach you by phone or post for awhile, this will have to do. I feel like there will be nothing wrong, but as usual, I do not know everything. Actually, stuff may really screw up simply because I moved to Japan. This would be my luck. Here in Japan, the calendar is different. The years coincide with the reign of the Emperor. This year is 11. This Emperor has been in power for 11 years. I was born in 44, during the reign of the last Emperor. Jessica was born in 2. Wild, huh? So, when we talk about Y2K, it is a little hard to explain to people what the big deal is. I recently told someone that it would be funny to put the Japanese calendar into Roman numerals, and tell everyone how to prepare for �gYXII.�h Hey, I thought it was funny�c

Things here are wonderful. We are loving Japan, and this country is beautiful. Once we survived/endured the summer sweltering, the weather here has been great?perfect for sightseeing, which we do on a weekendly basis. We have been to some wonderful places. Most recently, we visited Osaka castle. We had to go to Osaka to meet up with the other language teachers on the JET Programme, and stayed overnight in a hotel. We were in a section of Osaka called American Mura, named so because there are loads of western establishments there. We were having a bit of trouble getting a hotel room that evening, contrary to what most people tell you, reservations usually are not necessary here. Except for holidays, that is. Anyway, I digress. We were standing on the corner with our backpacks on, and Ken was going in and out of hotels to find us a room. We were hiking toward the next establishment when a van pulled up next to us. An American named Mark started to talk to us, explaining that he had seen us go into one place that he thought was not a good place to stay because it was not very clean. We thanked him, and he asked if we could use some help because he now lived in Osaka with his Japanese wife and two daughters, (the oldest is Jessica`s age) and he said that when he first came to Japan, people were very kind to him.  Now he always tries to help foreigners in Osaka. We talked to him for a few minutes, then climbed into the van with them to go two streets over to a hotel. This could never happen in America. We would have been dinner for the Dahmers, etc. Anyway?we sat there as his
wonderful wife Masako went from hotel to hotel and finally found a room for us. It was wonderful. We might have had to stay in a hotel which was filthy or something, and it certainly would have been hard to get into this very nice and inexpensive place without the aid of her Japanese language! We thanked them profusely, and asked for an address to send a card for Christmas (or a thank you, etc.) but he said he was just glad to help us. We were pretty lucky. It saved us time AND money?what a true bargain.
But it couldn�ft be all of the story, now could it? Of course not. While Masako was heading from hotel to hotel, Mark told us part of his life story, specifically the part that landed him in this country for the last ten years. It seems that he came over here with the circus. Yes, he used to train animals for Ringling Brothers. This kind of thing only happens to me, you see. Only I could get picked up in Osaka by a former elephant trainer. I couldn�ft make this up. Again, the truth in my life is so much stranger than fiction could ever be!

There are more oddities to report, naturally. Last Saturday was my bon enkai, the end-of-the-year party that all the teachers attend and basically everyone gets really smashed on beer and sake. Most of the teachers were staying overnight at a resort in Kinosaki where the party was held, but I had decided to take the train back to Wadayama and spend the night at home with my family. Before the actual party, we took a bath in a hot spring, so all the teachers got naked together. Whoa. This was a real experience. Somehow, taking a public bath seems a little easier when you don�ft know the people who are staring at you. Oh well�cI was determined to do what the rest of them were doing, if for no other reason than proving that the rumors of an undaunted American spirit are true. The bath and tea ceremony went well, although when my teachers tried to help me with the yukata, the Japanese lightweight kimono worn indoors and at hotels, etc., it was funny because I am not built like the typical Japanese woman. I am also not used to tying everything up and tucking here and there as they have done all their lives. The effect was that I looked and felt like I was wearing a hospital gown. Those things just never cover you up adequately. Anyway, soon it was time for dinner. We drew numbers to determine the seating order, and I was seated next to a teacher of mathematics who talks to me sometimes, but always ALGEBRAICALLY.  Lucky for me I remember my advanced math! On the other side is a new teacher who loves Broadway musicals and whose English is fairly good. We all had a nice conversation. The protocol at these things is that people will pick up a bottle and make the rounds, stopping in front of people to pour liquor into your cup to honor you. Then you must take a small sip to accept the honor. This is how people get plastered. There are 50 teachers present and guess who is the popular teacher? Yep?the stupid-funny-looking-really-WHITE teacher from America  Sooooo�cit was good I was taking the train is all I can say. They warned us about these things when we were in our Orientation meetings in Tokyo. It is peer pressure at its finest. They see this ritual as a team-building thing, kind of a declaration of mutual respect, and it dates back many centuries, yes, WAY before beer!!! The bottom line is that if you refuse them from honoring you, you offend them and they lose face with the rest of the group.  It sounds really strange, I know, but that is the culture, and when in Rome�cI asked my go-between what happens to the people who do not drink. He said that they just didn�ft attend the party every year. They are sort of excluded from things like non-drinking luncheons and dinners also. I decided that it was a good move for me to go and just eat and drink whatever they gave me. I think maybe the real reason they drink like this is to forget what they are eating. I had all sorts of strange food at this dinner. It was worse than anything I ever had at a fraternity party, and I have been to parties where the goldfish mysteriously disappeared, but that is something I will not go into right now. Let`s just say that they can�ft prove anything�chee hee hee!
Back to the food. Everyone had a little table of their own, covered with dishes full of all kinds of food. There was a sushi tray with some sashimi on it that I had never seen before. I like sushi, and I usually know which kind I should not eat. This was new stuff, and my vice-principal is there in front of me, educating me about what the foods are, etc. So I was resolved to try whatever the stuff was. I ate a piece of very tough raw meat. It was very dark red, very chewy, and very NOT good. I was told afterward that it was horse. Horse meat. Raw. Ugh. Bizarre! Now that I can identify this I will be certain not to eat any more of it. Next to the sushi was a little plate with a crab on it about the size of a half-dollar. I was taught how to eat this. You eat the whole thing, claws, eyes, shell, legs and all, just like a potato chip or something. They are very crunchy. I tried to trick myself (which is the most ridiculous thing anyone can attempt) into thinking that it WAS a chip. It actually was not too terrible. Nice flavor as long as you don�ft think about all those legs. My principal then sat down to teach me about some other items on the tray. He gave me one plate and showed me how to dip a certain morsel into some sauce. Then he said to put the whole thing in my mouth. It is big enough for two bites, but I did like the others and got it down. The flavor was quite nice as far as raw fish goes. Then I was told that it was fugu. FUGU??? I had to ask several times to clarify that this was the famous blowfish that is lethal if prepared incorrectly. Wow, I nearly fainted. But hey, I survived it. I figured all the deadly stuff was over, so I relaxed and told myself that anything goes at this point, you know??? So then we talk as I eat the crab legs of the WHOLE Matsuba crab they placed in front of me. I was thinking about how this dinner reminded me of Indiana Jones and the scene where they serve Monkey brains!! I am smiling to myself as my principal then takes the body of my crab and breaks open the shell. Then he scrapes out the brains which look like Gerber`s strained spinach. He puts this slimy substance into the top portion of the shell. Then he takes some warm sake and pours a little onto the brains. He takes my chopstick and stirs until there is a sizeable puddle of green slime in this crab body. Then he formally presents this to me with a bow and a smile. My hands were shaking, but I took the shell and downed the stuff. It was gooey but the taste was pretty good considering the content. Then the teacher next to me indicated that next I was to take the small dish next to it and swallow the contents in one gulp. It looked like oysters on the half shell, with about the same consistency. The teacher then gave me a smile, said �gtako�h, and showed his own dish to me. He touched his chopstick to the lumpy contents and it MOVED. There were tentacles. It was a live baby octopus. At this point I think I went into shock. I no longer cared when they continued pouring stuff for me. I just drank and it was great to have lived through it all. I was just telling myself that Ken would never believe the story when my teachers gave me more to tell him! Soon they showed me how to cook some sukiyaki over a tiny sterno on my table. The sukiyaki was very good, and non-slimy, and non-lethal, and a relief. When I was finished, they replaced the sterno and relit it and placed a little wooden cask on top that was to cook next. It had a lid on it and I didn�ft take the lid off. The teacher sitting across from me jostled his table and the lid slid off. There was a small scratching sound and then a PRAWN JUMPED OUT of the cask and fell onto the tatami, waving his legs and claws frantically. I just stared, then pointed to show my teacher that the prawn was still alive. Then he lifted off the lid of my own cask to show me that they were all being cooked alive. �gVelly flesh,�h he said with another smile. �gFresh, �g I said, with what must have been a look of complete and total horror.  He replaced the lid and laughed. I resolved not to look inside again, that perhaps if I ignored it then it would be forgotten. No such luck. After a few minutes, the teacher took off the lid, motioned for me to take the prawn by the legs (no longer moving) and then he pulled either side and the shell of the lower tail and the shell of the head fell away, leaving the head and legs and everything intact. I just followed the example he showed me after that. After that, I poured MYSELF another cup of sake.
I seriously considered becoming a vegetarian. 
All this stuff is considered to be delicacy in Japan. People don�ft get the chance to eat like this, I was told. I was very lucky. I feel like I did a pretty good job representing my country and our sense of adventure. However, I have new respect for George Bush and the way he vomited all over the Japanese Prime Minister at the state dinner.
I seriously considered becoming a republican.
After dinner we played bingo, where prizes were distributed in attractive gift bags. People won things like bundles of work gloves, shovels, garbage cans and toilet paper. The Japanese are really into practical gifts and prizes. I won a prize also, but it was one of the fun ones�cI got kagami mochi, a traditional New Year decoration and food. It is rice paste kind of in the shape of a snowman. Apparently, you display it with paper and greenery and then eat it on January 15th of the new year. I have no idea as to the significance, but it is really heavy and you have to put an orange on top of it. The effect is that you have Frosty with an orange head.  Weird.  Again, when in Rome�c

Then we sang karaoke. It was my first time to sing karaoke in Japan. The teachers all got together to sing various songs, and they helped me select a song that was in English since I have no idea how to sing any of the Japanese songs! Everyone cheered even though I didn�ft do a very good job. I think it had something to do with all I had previously eaten. I don�ft think octopi are good for your vocal chords. I think I will not have any more baby octopi. Or fugu either for that matter. But I am happy to report that there are no ill effects whatsoever from my experience. The greatest price I paid for any of it was due to the sake, which haunted me a little the following morning to put it mildly.

So today is Monday and my teachers are still talking about how much fun they had at the party on Saturday. Many of them who do not usually talk to me have spoken to me this morning. Usually the teachers who are not very good with English are nervous about talking to me so they just smile and nod in my direction, but today they are very chatty. One of the teachers that I thought did not like foreigners came to me and said that he does not like foreigners. I told him that I had already guessed that. Then he said. �gBut I like DinDee-sensei so maybe now I will like foreigners.�h He bowed to me, then stuck out his hand for me to shake it. It was his left hand, but hey?it was still progress. My go-between said that he was impressed that I tried so many of the Japanese foods and that I was polite about the customs of Japan. He told my go-between that all the foreigners he has ever seen made faces at the food and asked a lot of embarrassing questions about the customs and traditions. It is true that we don�ft do these things. We usually get somebody to show us what to do, and then maybe we ask about the origin of the custom if there is a chance to do so. But Ken and Jessica and I study Japanese history, and this answers a lot of the questions that we would otherwise have to ask. It seems that many Japanese do not know the origin of the customs and so they become embarrassed when they can not answer the questions we ask. Since most Americans are the same way, I see this as something else we have in common! HA!  Speaking of studying, Jessica is doing great at both Itoi Elementary and in her homeschooling. She is making a lot of friends and seems to be having a really good time.  We will have a good Christmas here. We thought that she would not have a lot of presents because of the hassle of sending everything over here, but she is going to have a huge Christmas. We are giving her a trip to Tokyo Disneyland for Christmas. I bought a puzzle and wrote �gWe are going to Disneyland tomorrow�h on the back of the solved puzzle, then scramble the pieces and wrapped them in four separate packages. The empty box is wrapped and under the tree, with the first clue for the scavenger hunt that will help her to retrieve the pieces of the puzzle. We will sleep on Christmas Eve, Santa might show up and then we will call home Christmas Day before we head out for Kobe. In Kobe, we catch an overnight bus to Tokyo to go to Disneyland for the 26th. We plan to go to Kyoto for New Year`s, which will be great! Kyoto was the capital of Japan at the turn of the last millenium, and there are over 1000 temples and shrines there. At the turning of the New Year, all the monks and priests turn out to ring the temple bells. I can only imagine how wonderful it will be to be in that ancient city surrounded by the ringing of thousands of temple bells to usher in 2000!!! WOW!

As I have written, the first flurries of snow have begun to fall in Wadayama.  We have been lucky so far not to have a lot of snow, but here it comes!!  This will be my first real winter!

I suppose that I should end this letter now so that I can get it into the mail. Ken and Jessica and I send lots of love your way for the holiday season. We hope that we ALL are blessed in the New Millenium with love, with luck, with health, and with all good things! Please let us hear from you! In case you have misplaced it, here is the address:

Lynley and Ken Asay, and Jessica
Miyazaki Mansion #102
Teradani, Shimogawara 248
Wadayama-cho, Asago-gun
Hyogo-ken  669-5212  JAPAN