Dear �gMy MeeMaw�h

It is the first day of school, September 1, 1999.
Currently it is cleaning time.  I asked three times if I could help, and then was instructed by Kyoto-sensei to sit at my desk.  I am the only one here, but at least some students continually come and say hello to me.  One even introduced herself.  They all seem very nice.  Everyone is in uniforms, and I worry that it will be the same at Jessica`s school.  When we went yesterday, we were told that the students will not be required to wear the uniform until October, which is a good thing because we don�ft have one yet for her.  They are very expensive, and we will wait for the next pay period to make that purchase.  And she will need at least two of them.  But we are trying to find a uniform second-hand also, and then the only thing we would have to replace would be the white shirt, which is embroidered with the kanji of the childs name.

She was excited this morning.  Not really afraid like I thought she might be.  She kept saying how excited she was.  Maybe its because she will get to be one of the keynote speakers at her school today.  They are very big on speeches in Japan.  All three of us are giving speeches today.  I wish you could have heard her practicing the speech this morning at breakfast.  Then she got ready with her red backpack and yellow cap and everything, and just got truly excited about the first day of school.  The ALT at Itoi Elementary, Nick Paiement, is our friend from Canada, and he picked her up this morning at our house so she would have somebody to actually walk in the building with.  It made me feel lots better to know she wouldn�ft do that alone.  She will give her speech at her opening ceremony, as Ken at Yoka, all of us having to speak in Japanese.  WHEW!

I have all my birthday cards in a pile in the kitchen, and tonight I will pin them to the string in my bedroom so its all decorated for tomorrow.  Thank you so much for sending your card so early?I have been able to enjoy it for a couple of weeks now!  And thank you and PowPow also for the gift.  It is going to be a great birthday�cjust wish all of you could be here for the party!  I would KILL for a Stroope`s cake with a rose or two on it.  And maybe one of their brownies, too.  Okay, now I am hungry.  The Akibidai English Club has a party planned for me that includes Ken and Jessica, and I am really excited about that.  Our new friend Naomi Takaoka is planning the whole thing.  Her husband is one of the local doctors, and her family is very nice.  We have already done many things with them.  Their older daughter, Eriko, will be one of my students.  She loves children, and has invited Jessica over to play because she wants to help her with her Japanese.  She is very sweet, and Jessica loved playing at their house.  Naomi is a n evening student in the English Club.  Another one of the club members, Hiroko Tawichi, has a lot of kids and is a stay at home mom.  One of the girls is Jessica`s age and goes to Itoi also.  She has been to play with them also.  I had lunch there on Friday with Hiroko and Naomi, and all the kids played all afternoon.  Jessica pouted when it was time to go home.  I think she is finally settling in very well.

I have two other private students, both of them 12 years old, both of them daughters of English Club members.  I will begin teaching them this evening, in one of their homes.  It is really easy work for what they will pay me.  Hopefully I can get a couple more of these students, and maybe send a couple more Ken`s way, we should be pretty much set.

I just returned from giving my speech.  It was incredible.  The first and last parts of it were in Japanese, and I practiced so that it would sound like Japanese.  The result is that it probably sounded like someone speaking Japanese underwater.  Oh well, maybe in time�cbut the opening ceremony was like nothing I have ever seen before.  There are about 500 students, all standing in the gym talking when I come in.  Everyone falls dead silent and stares at me, then the principal asks them to take position, I think, and they fall into straight lines and keep completely quiet.  500 high school children completely silent, standing in straight lines in the gym for the entire ceremony.  Wow.  So they introduce me, and I go up onto the stage to give my speech, and I present the principal with the American flag, and he bows, and I bow, and the students bow and the teachers bow, and then they applaud.  Then two of the students come to the front of the assembly and face me, and thank me, in English, for being the ALT here and that they are grateful for my sacrifice (of leaving home to teach them English)  It was simply one of the most incredible sights I have ever witnessed.  They say that classes themselves are rather noisy, but that assembly times are considered formal, almost sacred.  It is interesting that the go-between used that word, SACRED, since the majority of the Japanese people are not really religious.  I mean, the traditional religion is Shinto, and then Buddhism came in from China, and with it came the persecution of every religion except Shintoism.  But they had a Reformation of sorts about 300 years ago, and now a lot of different religions are practiced.  There is a huge Baptist Church in Kobe, and a Catholic Church not far from us in Ikuno.  I havent seen a Methodist Church yet, but they certainly know who John Wesley was, and have an appreciation for what Methodist College is, that is to say that they recognize that the college is affiliated with a protestant church founded by John Wesley.  It made me rather ashamed that I know relatively little about the eastern religions.  I studied Shintoism and Buddhism in my religion classes at Methodist, but only for one semester, so I know the very basics.  Like, I knew that there were hundreds of Buddhas but I don�ft know one from the next.  And I cant name a single one of the Shinto deities, but I recognize the carvings and can distinguish the ones that are considered benevolent, etc.  I only know a little about customs and traditional celebrations, and yet the entire culture is based upon these things.  Ironically, the Japanese people themselves don�ft really know that much about it either.  I guess its kind of like all of the Americans who take part in the Easter Bunny thing but don�ft know the story of Easter, or like our Halloween, which has roots in traditional pagan rites and now is a children`s holiday.  When I think of it that way, there really isnt that much different here in Japan.  Most people go to a shrine or a temple during festival time, to pray for their ancestors and ask the gods for help with their lives, but they don�ft go regularly, like every Sunday or anything like that.  A lot of people still have a miniature shrine in their homes, where they meditate or pray for spiritual guidance.  Many of them ask me if I am a Christian, saying that most of the westerners they know are Christian, and they ask if my name is Biblical, or if Jessica`s name is taken from a story in our Bible.  I don�ft delve deep into religious discussion, but many people have offered that they would like to read the Bible someday because Jesus Christ must have been a remarkable man.  In most discussions, he is likened to Buddha, and they are careful to point out that they believe he existed and that he is powerful and that Christianity has validity in the world.  One person even regarded Jesus as the Son of God?and he himself was a Shinto priest.  Religion is a very personal thing, and fellowship here is done via festivals, etc., where you will see the entire town turn out in traditional dress.  Our town festival here in Wadayama was really great ? you would have loved it.  It was a real taste of the country.  Imagine it:

In the streets, there are dozens of kiosks set up and people are selling every sort of goody from roasted chestnuts to grilled corncobs, to fried chicken, to squid on a stick (I`m not kidding about the squid on a stick�cit is a real delicacy here�c)and there are all kinds of sweets also.  The sugar they use in Japan is much sweeter than what we have in the US.  Therefore, the pastries here are heavenly.  There are all kinds of pastries being sold, and ice cream and frappes and crepes and waffles, and anything that can be flavored with green tea is, yes, flavored with green tea.  It is deceptive, because it looks like pistachio, and tastes pretty awful when you expect pistachio.  Otherwise its usually pretty good stuff.  Everywhere you look are banners and flags and lanterns hung over the streets and colored lights all over town.  The people are dressed in ugata (a light kimono used in the summertime, very beautiful) and so the different colorful costumes just add to the spectacle.  To top it all off, that night was a 45 minute display of fireworks.  I have never seen such a display.  The entire sky was lit up with fire for entire minutes of time at once!  It put every display I ever saw at DisneyWorld to shame!  The only one I saw that was better was the one at Camden on the 4th of July?but just because we were all there together.  I kept wishing for you and Mom and Tracy, because we all seemed to have such a good time at the one on the 4th, and I just knew you all would have loved this one.  It was incredible that this festival was just for our relatively small town, and EVERYONE goes to these things.  Wow!  I took pictures and will send some to you when I get them back.

There are a ton of funny things that happen here on a daily basis.  The most recent funny thing I can think of right now was Monday when I was invited to lunch by the women of the English Club.  We drove to the town of Hidaki, just north of Yoka, because my friend said ``there is Engrish restoo raaanto there and ahhhh sooooo desunay�cwe sink it will welcome to you!``  So we went to the English RESTAURANT and the name of it is CHUG-A-LUG.  After the liquor store incident, I was almost afraid to go inside.  The menu was semi-western.  You can get a burger (made with soybeans) and you can get spaghetti (with octopus) and you can get a pizza (with corn on it) and of course, there is traditional Japanese fare also.  It was priceless.  For dessert, you can get a root beer float (made with green tea ice cream) and you can order Oreo cookies, which are found here pretty often in grocery stores.  Satsuya Katayama, one of the ladies, is particularly fond of Oreos, and ordered a bunch to share with the table.  Well, you know me, and when I got mine, I wasn�ft thinking about what it looked like, I immediately twisted it apart and ate the white part first, like I have done since I was in nursery school.  Everyone I know eats them this way.  So you can imagine my shock when the whole table just stops on a dime and stares at me in awestruck wonder.  I am asked about the proper way to eat an Oreo.  I tell them that there really isn`t a proper way, but that all the Americans I know eat them this way, unless of course you`re dunking them in milk when it�fs a completely different matter.  At that point the whole table engaged in twisting them apart and eating the white stuff first.  Two more orders were put in before they finally tired of this new American pastime of eating Oreos inside out.  Katayama-san was so happy when we left that she paid for my lunch.  But if you can imagine eight women around a table twisting Oreos for an hour and laughing like crazy as they eat them like American nursery school children, then you have a picture in your mind of just how I am assimilating into the Japanese culture here in Hyogo prefecture.  In addition to this, I have taught the postman how to say ``Hey Y`all!!`` when I enter the building.  This place may never be the same.

I miss you terribly, as you can probably tell from these very long letters.  Mom told me about the Furniture store having to close down.  I know that there is nothing that I can say or do to help, but I have been praying for you, and for everyone in the family, but especially for you.  I am so very sorry that you have to endure all this terrible stuff that N**** has done.  None of it is fair.  After so much hard work for so many years it is unbelievable that we find ourselves at this spot.  I was very depressed after I talked to mom, and Ken asked me what was happening.  After I told him and after I cried for a little while, I remembered a story he told me once.  I wanted to share it with you.

There is a place in the Grand Tetons that climbers call Disappointment Ridge.  Several people climb in the mountains, and struggle to get to the summit of the biggest mountain.  Often, they lose the trail and think that the summit is just over the next pitch.  When they get there, they find themselves on a ridge with a huge valley in front of them and the peak still very VERY far away.  You see why it is called Disappointment Ridge now.  A lot of climbers just simply stop there, because they don�ft have the energy, or the supplies or the time before a storm to get to the summit.  For many climbers it ruins the one-time chance to summit there, and they leave the area without accomplishing the goal.  Climbing a mountain is so very difficult, and challenging, and so many sacrifices have to be made to get up there, and to reach a place like this can truly break your spirit.  Anyway, I thought of this story, because when Ken reached this place, his spirit was almost completely broken.  And when he told me about it, all I could do was shake my head and tell him how terrible it must have been for him, but then I asked ``what was the view like from there?``, and his reply was that the view was one of the most beautiful he had ever seen.  The valley was virginal, relatively untouched by humankind, and the mountain rose proud in the distance, pointing to heaven.  The breeze was cooling and the weather was perfect.  It was not as good as the summit view, but it was still really great.  He camped there and had a great dinner with friends, a superb nap, and overall it was a great trip anyway.  He is a strong person and has a great spirit driving him on.
I tell you the story for obvious reasons, really.  After so many years of work, what is happening at Silliman Furniture is kind of like getting to Disappointment Ridge.  I guess what I`m failing miserably to say is that all the work done there was, from the very beginning, to provide a nice life for all the Sillimans, all of US.  And it HAS, and it WILL, because there is a legacy there, one that is NOT ruined because of HER crimes.  And this will not stain the Silliman name.  Nothing she could do ever could.  Because WE are all still here, working hard, being good people and decent, honest people.  Idle gossip does nothing to destroy anyone in the end.  YOU taught me this long ago when you told me just not to worry about what people had to say about me.  Yes, you told me, it hurts, but just be yourself and it will be fine.  You were right.  To just be myself was always the best way to go, because I am a Silliman, you see.  That makes it all right.  All of the lessons about strength, determination, perseverance and endurance that I ever learned were ones that you taught me by your example.  I have said all this before.  And I might be the oldest of us grandkids, but I think I can speak for all of us, on that point at least.  When Mom was talking to me about it and we talked about how it affected all of us, she said to me, ``I told Mother that N**** had stolen HER grandchildren`s inheritance.``  I didn`t say to Mom at that time what I was thinking.  The words just wouldn�ft come right then.  She didn�ft steal anything that was really important, except maybe trust, but certainly not anyone`s inheritance.  I seriously doubt that any one of the grandchildren capable of understanding the situation is worried about that in the slightest.  It never even occurred to me until Mom said it.  Because what I have already inherited from my grandparents is far beyond anything material, and cannot be assigned any monetary value.  This, that I have, I will keep forever, it cannot be stolen or gambled or lost.  This, cannot be tainted or wasted, and will never run out.  This, I can invest in my daughter and watch it grow and multiply.  So you see, I am not worried, and neither is anyone else, about money.  We are all worried about the toll it is taking on you, for YOU are the treasure, MeeMaw!  My tears that night were because I can`t be there to make sure you are getting some rest.  You are in my prayers, every one, every day.  I suppose that is all I can do.

I apologize for waxing philosophical on you like that, and I hope I did not upset you.  It is just that all this has been in my head/heart since I last spoke with Mom, and I wanted you to know that we are thinking about you!  I love you and I miss you, and I will arrange a good time to give you a call soon!  Give our best to everyone there, and tell them that we are all fine and well out here in the Pacific!

All my love, Lynley Aileen