May 18, 2000

HI!

I didn�ft have a lot of news this time, but I will just chat about a couple of things that were going on here.  More than anything, it is just the everyday stuff that I miss hearing about from home.  I called Mom and MeeMaw both on Mother`s Day (it was Monday morning here at the time, and I was standing in the hallway next to the office in my school?at work, when it is Mother`s Day at home�csigh�cI guess I shouldn�ft be surprised by THAT though, after all I worked on Christmas Eve and it was pretty weird.  I digress.  I have a way of doing that, don�ft I?)  What I was saying was that I loved hearing Mom and Daddy talk to each other about who was running for public office, and I loved hearing about MeeMaw`s having bridge club the next day and the orchid that Tracy sent to her that will look so pretty floating in a bowl on the table.  I hung up the phone and wandered back to the staffroom, grinning like a cretin for the rest of the day.  Please do not think that emailing me without big news will be boring for me.  I love hearing from you, so please write.

On the home front, I am feeling my age again.  On Tuesday, I picked up Jessica from school and we drove to Hidaka to the family store.  She needed rain boots for the rainy season (which will begin in about 20 minutes, or so I`ve been told�cand since we are in Japan where things run exactly on time, I expect to get very wet during lunchtime when I have to go out to my car to go to the post office.)  At Hidaka, we also found a display where they recent got in a shipment of sport sandals for kids.  Ken and I both have some Nike sport sandals that we wear all the time as camp shoes, or on our many adventures.  We have been looking for some in Jessica`s size because we knew she would enjoy having some like ours, with buckles instead of velcro.  We found some that looked like they would fit her, and I nearly had a heart attack on the spot.  They fit her.  They also fit me.  Mom, how did you feel when you knew that I was big enough to wear your shoes?  I kind of felt sad.  I also kind of felt a little irritated because I am already having enough trouble telling whose socks are whose.  Here, I wear a 23.5 (to give me enough width) but I can wear some 23.0s also.  The sandals we bought her are a 23.0.  Well, you can imagine how proud she was of herself when she discovered that she is almost a grown-up (her words) and she stood tall for the rest of the evening, after we got home and cooked dinner together, etc.  She must have measured herself against my height at least ten times.  It is a little depressing.  My baby.  She is all arms and legs and questions?blonde ponytail bobbing everywhere.  Now, it is almost uncomfortable for her to get in my lap.  She can only stay a few minutes, because then my legs go to sleep.  I am a lucky mom, though.  Everytime we go somewhere, she still wants to hold my hand.  I think that this is great.  She is not the least bit concerned with what might be �gcool�h and so I get to hold her hand still.  I do not currently embarrass her to the point that she wants to walk ten feet behind me.  I know, I know�ctwelve is coming sooner than I know?and then, dare I say it�cteenagerdom.  I mean it?I think perhaps you should all start shopping for my straitjacket now.  I think I said that before, actually.  Since it is after Easter, white will be fine for now, but I will need a darker color for after Labor Day.  Please help me look.  I must be the fashionable one at the loony bin.

Continuing on the Jessica theme, we recently had to have her yearly physical for school, which was pretty comprehensive.  She had all the testing and stuff, and then her nurse sent the Japanese forms to the nurse at my school so that an English teacher could help me translate all Jessica`s medical information.  We had already done this for fourth grade, but they update everything at the beginning of the fifth grade year, so it had to all be done again.  The whole thing was pretty bizarre, actually.  We talked about eating and sleeping habits and basic information, like when she had her tonsils removed at the age of 3.  When we got to immunization and stuff, it got a little technical even for my English Teacher, so she went for the dictionary, and the scene went a little something like this:
Teratani-Sensei: (our nurse) �gNani nani dooba wooba something something ka?�h
(Just about every question in Japanese ends with the word �gka�h)
Matsuda-Sensei (English teacher) �gAhhhhh�c.soooo�c..�h(flips through the dictionary and points at kanji with the word �gMeasles�h)
Me:   �gNo, Jessica never had the measles.  She has had the shots for measles.�h
Matsuda (to Teratani) �gNo.  Iie desu.�h (Japanese for �git`s a no.�h)
Teratani (to herself) �gNo.�h  (then continues�c)
Teratani (to Matsuda) �gNani nani dooba wooba something something ka?�h
Matsuda  �gAhhhh�csoooo�c.�h(flip flip flip, point�c.)
Me:   (looking at book)  �gNo, Jessica has not had polio.  She has had the shot.�h
Matsuda (to Teratani) �gNo.�h
Teratani (to Teratani) �gNo.�h
---this continues like this for chicken pox, for typhoid, for tuberculosis, for whooping
cough, scarlet fever, CHOLERA, meningitis, rubella, HIV, Hepatitis-all of `em, and
strep throat, among most of the other childhood ailments I have ever known.  It takes
an hour and we are still at it.
Teratani (to Matsuda) �gNani nani dooba wooba something something ka?�h
Matsuda  �gAhhhh�csooooooooooo�c..�h (flip flip flip�c.sucking breath through teeth�c..flip flip flip flip�c.more sucking�cflip flip flip�clook�cpoints.)
Me.  �gApple Disease?�h
Matsuda  �gYes.�h
Teratani  �gLingo�h  (Japanese for �gapple�h)
Me:  �gApple Disease.�h
Matsuda  �gYes.�h
Teratani  �gLingo.�h
Me:  �gI understand �gapple�h but I do not know what this is.�h
---what follows is a lot of pantomiming and blowing of cheeks and I decide that they are
talking about mumps.  They had not yet asked about mumps.  I tell them Jessica
never had mumps, they are satisfied and we continue.  I still am not sure what Apple
Disease is�cbut whatever�cmaybe they were asking if she had worms.  Jessica doesn�ft
have worms, either.  The answer would still be �gno.�h
Teratani (to Matsuda) �gNani nani dooba wooba something something ka?�h
Matsuda �gAhhhhh�c..�h (flip flip flip flip flip, look�cmakes a face�cflip flip flip�canother face, sucks air through teeth, flips some more�c.then finally points.)
Me: �gKawasaki Disease?�h
Matsuda:  �gKawasaki Disease.�h
Teratani:  �gKawasaki.�h
Me: �gI never heard of Kawasaki Disease.�h
---more pantomiming.  I have no idea what is going on.  They touch their hair, then their knees, and make faces like they are very sick.  I join the pantomime.  I place my closed hands, palms down in front of me like I am holding the handlebars of a motorcycle, and then I rev the air-cycle and say �gvroom vroom?�h  They laugh and then remind me that I am a foreigner.  I had forgotten.  I figured that anybody who rode motorcycles might feel this way for one reason or another, you know, bugs in the hair, windburn on the face, too much beer in the belly, too much road kill stew for dinner, leather pants chafing the knee region.  You know, that kind of thing.  They tell me that Kawasaki Disease is named for the doctor who discovered it.  I tell them that Jessica has never been diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease and ask if it is okay to just say no.  They agree and we move on.  Now we are down to one question.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel�c
Teratani  (to Matsuda) �gNani nani dooba wooba something something ka?�h
Matsuda begins to laugh.  She flips and laughs and flips and laughs.  Then she finally writes down the kanji for the words Teratani has said.  She translates for me.  Then she looks at me, as if I suddenly understand kanji, and asked if Jessica ever had that.
Me: �gHand-foot-mouth Disease?�h
Matsuda: �gPerfect.  Yes, has she had it?�h
Teratani: �gEh?�h
Me: �g�c�c�c�c�c�c.�h (staring into space)
?somewhere I think I heard something spring loose in my brain.  I wondered what this could possibly be.  They see my dilemma, and being helpful as always, they stop another teacher who has children and knows English and they speak to her in Japanese, asking if HER children ever had whatchamacallit Disease and what it would be called in English.  She looks thoughtful, and then looks at me and says �gHand-foot-mouth Disease�h in English.  So it is obviously something that everybody knows about except me.  Has anyone ever heard of this one?  I am completely stumped. 
At this point, I have an idea.  What if I pretend that I know what this is and just say no and get the whole thing over with?  So this is what happened.
Me:  (sudden motion indicating remembrance)  �g oh YEAH!  I know it!  Jessica never had it, so we need to write no.�h
Matsuda (relieved) �gOH GOOD!  GOOD!�h  (to Teratani) �gNo.�h
Teratani  (to herself)  �gNo.�h
Me:  �gWell, that does it.  Thank you both so much!  Doomo arigatou goziemasu!�h
Matsuda  �gWhat do you call that disease in English?�h
Me:  �gHand-foot-mouth Disease is close enough.  I can`t remember the name right now, but I will see if I can find it on the internet and I will let you know.�h
Matsuda:  (looking doubtful) �gso how do you know she did not have this disease?�h
Me:  (suddenly realizing that an answer like �gbecause I am the mom�h, while appropriate, probably would not suffice with Matsuda-sensei.  I take a deep breath and�c) �gbecause a friend of mine had it when we were kids...�h came out of my mouth.
Matsuda:  �gThat is terrible!  Were they from Japan?�h
Me:  �gFrom Japan?  I don`t think so.  Why?�h
Matsuda:  �gBecause I think only kids from Japan get Hand-foot-mouth Disease.�h
Me:  �g�c�c�c�c�c�c..�h(staring again into space�ccan you hear that sound??  It sounded like a sprooooiiiing�clike something else springing loose in my brain.)  �gSo why did we need to know if Jessica had it when she was a kid?�h
Matsuda:  �gWe didn�ft.�h
Me:  �gOh.  That`s good.�h
Matsuda:  �gSo what about your friend?is he okay?�h
Me:  �gWhat?  Oh HIM?he`s fine.  He must have had something else.  Sorry�c�h

(***for the benefit of those of you who thought I was lying to Matsuda-Sensei even further and misleading her into believing that I would try to find out what the name is on the internet�cyou would be wrong.  I did look up �ghand foot mouth disease�h on a total of 11 search engines on the internet.  There were about three million entries, with every possible malady of the hand, foot or mouth, and I gave up after reading a lot of entries having to do with eczema.  Eczema is disgusting.  So there?I did actually try to teach Matsuda-sensei, Teratani-Sensei and Me-Sensei about the horrors of Hand-foot-mouth Disease.  I also looked up Kawasaki Disease.  Wow.  Learned a lot.  And  I thought that the Japanese just made these names up to confuse me.  It is a conspiracy.  Maybe they will find out that I am already confused and not try so hard to accomplish this next time.  It is not difficult.)

Well, I have filled another five pages.  Sorry about all the lengthy messages.  I guess I figure that somebody will read and decide to answer me!  I HAVE heard from Steve, which was shocking because I know that he has been too busy to even READ his mail, much less answer any of it, getting finished with that degree and all.  So, since you will probably read this on FRIDAY? very large congratulations go out to DR. STEVE SILLIMAN!  Wow.  We are all so proud of you and your hard work!  WHEW!  Way to go, baby cousin! 

Having talked about all this has made me hungry, and I have to go now to my car and retrieve my lunch.  I am having noodle soup and veggies.   Mmmmmm?HEY!  It isn`t RAINING yet!  I think that the Japanese Rainy Season might be LATE!!!!!
(sprooooiiiing!!!!)

Got to go?love you all lots and lots, write me!  Lynley