January 13, 2000

Well, it is Thursday the 13th. I suppose that if it were Friday the 13th, it would be a lucky day here in Japan. As I have said numerous times, things are just done in reverse of whatever I have learned to date. Besides, the few who have seen the Jason movies really don�ft understand what it all means and one guy even thought they were a comedy series. Wow. I worried about that guy. He also regularly wears womens` shoes to work. Bizarre! I so enjoyed your call last night! Thanks so much, even though I was still half asleep. It was a good thing that you called when you did, because I had been asleep for two hours. I guess maybe reading Catcher in the Rye wore my poor brain out. It`s a really fast read, just over 200 pages, and the character speaks as if he is explaining what all led to his present madness. I read this book the first time during my freshman year at UCA. It was on our high school reading list, but the only person at CHS I knew that had actually read it was David �gthe brainiac�h Bacon. Mrs. Hendricks never forced us to read it, I suppose primarily to apologize for Beowulf, but I digress. If you have never read this, you might--and no, I don`t believe all that crap about serial killers and maniacs buying copies of this book. For the clue to that one-watch Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson. Super Flick! In CITR, the protagonist is a 17-year-old boy who has suffered great loss in his life, has no understanding of sex and no appreciation for money. He has no manners really but a great sense of conviction about two things, which are basically: a)you should try really hard to do the right thing whatever that means, and b)life is full of phonies. Everywhere you look, everywhere you go, phonies phonies PHONIES!!! He is already in a comfortable depression, and randomly slides from apathy to hate to love. Add chain smoking and some heavy drinking and you have the makings of every major motion picture of the 20th Century. No wonder why the book was banned in so many states. (and still is in Mississippi, but I digress�c) When I first read it, it sounded to me like it was really written incognito by that psycho I went to high school with, or perhaps he was actually a reincarnation of J.D.Salinger. Close your mouth, I am only kidding about the reincarnation thing. It`s a very serious (silent) subject here in Japan. Basically nobody has any sympathy for whatever you suffer in life, because you are on the great wheel of rebirth. You will be punished for whatever evil you do in life with suffering in your next life, so this means if you have various afflictions in this life, you deserve them. Get it? This is why so many people hide the fact that they catch colds like other humans and look down on the handicapped. It`s kind of a weird thing when you think about it, but it really helps to understand the cultural differences. That doesn�ft mean that you don�ft have a chance to succeed here, but it does make it harder. So, in a nutshell, if you were Hitler in your last life, you get to be reborn as a slug in the next life. A slug on the Great Salt Plain. Yeah?actually, there`s not much to distinguish between those two besides the �gscum-stache�h he had.
I heard from Liz �gthe scoop�h Shirey this morning and got all the news on our old crowd. I can always count on her to save me half a dozen phone calls, because she will tell them all about what is going on here. And she has never blown anything out of proportion. She is into what is REALLY going on with folks. To this day, she is the one who catches me up on what is happening with anyone in our former running group. I got to hear all about people`s birthday celebrations and various illnesses and job changes as well as whose babies were getting big and etc. and etc. and etc. She always has the latest REAL news. If she werent so good at being a pharmacist, she would have made an excellent journalist. Me? I could never be a journalist. I am way too biased about stuff. I could do the research. I could weasel my way into the trust of my story person. I could definitely expose people doing something wrong and take the heat, but my own opinions would always get in the way. I would write headlines like �gKEVORKIAN APPEAL DENIED?Sane People of World Mourn as Revered Angel of Mercy Goes to Jail.�h Or perhaps �gATF AGENTS ADMIT TO ILLEGAL INVOLVEMENT AT WACO?Rest of World, Completely Unsurprised, has Cereal For Breakfast.�h, or maybe, �gCLINTON PORNOS FOUND?www.whogivesashitgetareallife.com�h See what I mean? I guess it comes as no surprise that my favorite (dead) writers are Lewis Grizzard and Erma Bombeck. My favorite living writer is Dave Barry. His book Dave Barry Does Japan is an absolute scream. He spent three weeks here in Japan and then wrote about all the funny crap that happened to him here. It was priceless. I have read it four times. Each time I laugh until I cry. The last read was a collective read, that is to say that I read it aloud to Ken and Jessica as we drove around looking for a parking space in Japan. This is an activity that you could consider a hobby since you spent entire weekends doing it. Seriously, it takes at least eleven hours to find a spot that you will have to pay at least two bucks every half-hour to keep your car in. At least they don�ft charge you to actually HUNT for a space, although this surprises me sometimes. You definitely needs to read this book before you come here. Okay, I will stop doing book reviews now. See? Even in a stupid book review my opinions keep flowing forth. I guess I just can`t keep them to myself. It`s a shame that Mrs. Hendricks never let me do book reviews in her class. Then, perhaps, I would have learned to do them correctly. She was SO great. She is the reason that I succeeded in college. She worked us like dogs but we learned how to write clearly, not that my letters reflect this at all. But maybe if I had HAD a chance to review, say Beowulf for example, then generations that follow would be better prepared for the torture that is this literary work. I could sum it all up in 35 words: �gBEOWULF. Just grit your teeth because it is required for graduation. Nobody knows what this book means. I am not sure any of it is in English. Cliff Notes are a must for this one.�h
Okay, if I don�ft stop now I will be late for class. Since it is my first day to teach in this millenium, perhaps I should start it on a good note, right? Take care and I hope to hear from you again soon! Love and various other mushy stuff to all there from all here! Lynley