I was talking to a friend recently and I realized that, while I'm not a paedophile or statutory rapist by any stretch of the imagination, the idea of finding myself in an intimate setting with a young woman ( about 16 ) does have a "typically-male" universal appeal to me.

However, of course, the young woman that comes to my mind isn't the usual male's dream of adolescent virginity. As always, my preferences in women carry over, even into my fantasies.

My fantasy virgin is a cutie-- in that she is always "cute" but ont "beautiful" or "gorgeous". She is 16, gently overweight ( but still proportionate! ), with a small amount of tummy (by my definition), B- or maybe C-cup breasts, well-defined and rather large buttocks, nice legs that begin with small feet and slowly widen up to wide hips and thick thighs. Almost invariably, she has long hair, which cascades down to just below her shoulders (not always, though ). And usually she is a young woman of color.

She's not the type, physically, that most men woud ask out on a date in high school, and in reality, this type of young woman is usually overlooked during those years; most males are interested in "tits-on-a-stick" type women, mostly. She usually feels less than confident about herself, not often receiving compliments about her body, but her urges and desires drive her to want to explore, to experiment, to find out if she can be given the same physical and emotional sensations that her slimmer counterparts gush about in the locker room after gym class. She is a little down on herself, but not to the point that she doesn't love herself; she is simply looking for someone else to love her, or at least show her what it's all about. She's not the bad-girl type, or the goody-two-shoes type, but somewhere in between, restrained by her upbringing, but not so much so that she couldn't reason and think for herself about what was good/right for her, and what she wanted for herself. She carries herself well, not letting people talk about her behind her back when she can help it; she has friends of all sorts; she is a friendly person to be around.

She's never done much, sexually; she knows how to kiss, but only just, maybe from the occasional practice in her room with a stuffed animal, or maybe with her best friend, who swears never to tell anyone about it, or her lack of experience. She knows what it feels like to touch herself, to a small degree; but her lack of knowledge, other than the textbook kind, keeps her from exploring her own body and her fantasies like her desires want her to.

My role in this, in her life, isn't simply as a wayward cock whose only reason for being is to take her virginity. I'm more important than that. (( Hey! It's my fantasy, and in it, I can be as important to this young woman as I want to be. )) I'm there, to validate this young woman, on many levels; I'm the adult, who is there to let her know that she can be accepted for who she is by other adults, but to also let her know that a) she still has much to learn, and b) that she will always have something to learn. I'm a man, who lets her know that there are actually men out there-- exhibit A, of course, being me-- who find her attractive, and who want to know who she is; I'm the lover, who can show her all of those things that she's heard about but never had the chance to try, and many other things which she's only thought about in her deepest thoughts and fantasies, and can take her to previously unknown heights of pleasure. I'm her teacher, helping her learn about who she is, sexually, and what she wants and how to get it, and helping her to learn that a) the world cannot dictate to her the right- or wrong-ness of her desires and fantasies, only she can, and b) there are people who can appreciate many, if not all, aspects of her sexuality.

Many young women don't have someone like this, like the person I would want to be for my fantasy teen, who can give them a glimpse into the world of adulthood. Too many young women learn-- from the media, from their peers, from their families-- that there are aspects of themselves that are disliked by others, and that message is conveyed in such a way that they begin to dislike those aspects of themselves, themselves, not because they really and truly dislike them, but because they feel that they should-- and why not? everyone else does. For instance, I've heard from too many women I've both known and/or been sexual with that they've thought their genitals are/were nasty, funky, smelly, fishy, or otherwise unpleasant to look at, to touch, or smell, let alone taste. Or, that because they carry some "extra" weight-- meaning, of course, that they aren't 5'7" and 120lbs-- that no man, no "normal" man, that is, would want to be involved with them seriously, that all they are good for is as sexual objects, to be used and discarded at a whim. People don't seem to realize that these messages are damaging, often far beyond the time when the words are spoken or heard. And my only real desire, in wanting to have that intimacy with that innocent young virginal woman, is to either try and prevent her from internalizing those messages (like that healthy girl did in the TLC video "Unpretty"), or to help her overcome those messages she's come to believe.

After mentioning this to a few of my female friends, some of them said; "Well, damn- I wish I'd known someone like you when I was 16!"

As I've said, I'm not a paedophile. Even the word itself sends shudders of revulsion, loathing and disgust through me. I just want to help some young woman become her true sexual self.

A noble idea....don't you think?

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