Like I've said before, this vacation is nothing like any of my past holidays. The feeling is very different. No, I'm actually a little confused. It doesn't feel real at all. I feel more like I'm actually dreaming of a different lifestyle. I'm dreaming that I actually live in this house, in this town, with these guys as my brothers and with nothing to do. Most importantly, time doesn't seem to flow when I'm here. I don't keep track of time here. For one, the sun sets at abt 8pm+ here, which totally confuses me. Then, because I don't have any deadlines to follow, I live each day as the day goes on and I do not plan in advance, I do not keep track of date either. So effectively, I feel like I'm on a neverending dream, nothing very exciting but very comfortable.

Weird.

Once in a while, when I think of my family and my friends back in Singapore, I feel even more confused. I know that my cousin and my younger brother have started school about 4 days ago. I can just imagine them leaving the house every morning to go to school in their T-shirts and jeans, then come home to have dinner as the sun sets in the evening. But somehow, because I have never seen them do that before, the picture seems a little blur, a little tinged with a creamy colour, a little dreamy. Again.

I also know that most of the jc friends are also going on to university for the past week. Orientation now probably. All of them, playing games with their new classmates, new friends, at a new campus. Somehow, it doesn't feel real to me either. I'm feeling more like,"Hey, wait for me? Shouldn't we start school together? How come I'm still here? How come I'm not going to school?" Okay, this is probably also due to the fact that term starts later in the US, but now I feel like I'm nothing.

I'm not a student...even though I'm bumming, I'm not at home... I'm not going out with friends...oh wait, I do have friends right?...I don't see my parents...yeah, I'm nothing. I just exist. For no reason, for no function, like God has created me but forgot to create my life for me.

So therefore I'm basically just a person existing out of the real world, drifting around till I find my destination. Or until the dream ends.