011101, 1741hr, illinois time.

people are so sweet to me, i should stop whining already. last night, i got home so exhausted after my usher supervising assignment, i basically talked to alvin for a while before collapsing into my bed while he's taking a shower, and forgot to get up. ahem. somewhere in the midst of my dreams, agnes called me, all the way from singapore! gosh, i felt so touched, and yet i also felt very groggy, so our conversation didn't last that long. damn, what a waste. i still remember the times last semester when i would feel really stressed up or upset about something, and i don't know how, but agnes always knew the best time to call, just in time to save me from sinking into depression. wish we talked more last night. argh, wish i was awake!

clement is cooking chicken soup for dinner right now, and he invited me to join him, though i frankly had nothing in the fridge to cook a dish myself. quite embarrassed, i opened my fridge, and thought aloud, "hmm, what should i cook. i have....erm....nothing." eek. time to hit the supermarket. i'll do the washing up though, that's only right. else, i can always offer him another one of my super-delicious double chocolate muffin. yum.

man, i keep on thinking about those muffins of mine, i've already eaten one, i want another one! *drool*

i feel terrible being such a grumpy brat the past days. it's not like nothing nice happened to me, i mean, usually the kind of conversations i had with my classmates the past days, the kind of compliments i've received, the kind of sweet emails i got, blah blah blah - in a typical cindy's normal mood [is cindy's typical normal mood actually good? hmm.] any one of those would usually have made it up to the "goodness" part of my "stuff" column up there, but i've been so unenthusiastic and so impossible to cheer up, i feel quite sorry for whoever who had to look at my lousy face and make sense out of my melancholy.

i think it's got to do with a lack of sleep, losing my sense of routine and my daily rhythm of activities being disrupted by random incidents. it's probably also to do with alvin neglecting me over his GRE preparations. i always knew that he takes his work very seriously, i shouldn't be surprised that i'm not exactly his top priority during this critical period of time. yet, i couldn't help but grumble to him last night how he's abandoned me for the past 3 days, and how insensitive he had been towards me during the whole time. when i got pissed off, he didn't even realise it. sigh. so i grumbled and grumbled and grumbled. aiyah, i've become the kind of girlfriend that i, if i were a guy, would have detested. damn it. anyway, so last night, he's finally gone back to his normal self after his GRE test, though he still didn't do quite as well as he wanted to. i feel rather relieved, i guess, that things could be back to normal, and i could stop feeling so jilted. sniff. except now he's upset over his GRE results and i don't know what to say to him, or what i can do, to cheer him up. think my chocolate muffins will help?

eek, stop it with the muffins already! *whack head* man, i do have to go eat one more muffin now, i can't help myself. haha.

alvin's gone to play basketball, part of his gradual shift back to regular exercise. and he seems to be in a much better mood today. ah. it's nice to have everything back to normal now. i missed him.