The Quote List
As complied by Shan, Lin, Rach, Phil, Kate, Laurie, Nick, and anyone else who got a hold of my book...
Links on quotes means there's a pic that goes with it.
It�s like a freaking bed!- Shan

You rebel! You�re not really the nice one- Lin about Shan

Don�t let Rocky Horror and Farscape merge in my head � Lin

I wondered how he got the codpiece off to begin with- Kate
I never wondered that! Now I am � Lin

It tilts � Nick
No kidding � Lin

It�s actually really comfy till you fall backwards and think you�re going to die. � Lin

Are we imitating Natalie watching Stargate? � Shan
The difference is I know what�s going on � Lin

Be a polygamist! � Kate
It�s the way to go � Lin

Gotta meet in front of a big monkey � Shan

You shouldn�t have to run a mile during your vacation � Lin

I don�t want sloppy seconds � Kate

If you don�t make par, someone hits you � Nick

Drinking would have to come first � Kate
Pass me the keg tab, forget the putter � Laurie

Never laugh into coffee � I can�t see now � Lin

You sound like an old southern man, where have you beem?? � Laurie's mom

Lin, the non-naked ambassador � Kate
So whose the naked one?- Lin
Phil probably- Shan
No, please no � Lin

You could be the non-naked ambassador wrapped in cellpphane- Laurie to Lin

I hope she lubed up first! � Kate

I get to be lube girl now! � Kate

So now I�m the easy girl in a dress?? � Laurie

All I heard was �ride the twinkie!�- Shan

It�s got creamy filling! �Kate

We can have a twinkie together � Lin
Yeah, it has two ends � Kate
I�ll never look at a twinkie the same way again � Nick

Perverts are psychic, I swear � Kate

I don�t remember quotes well � Nick
You suck � Laurie
Suck what? � Kate
Twinkies!! � Lin and Shan

Her parents suck� twinkies!- Nick

Hey Becca, nice to meet you. Your parents suck twinkies. � Kate

There�s logic here? Where? � Laurie

And twinkies happened � Nick

But my parents don�t suck twinkies, they suck ding dongs. � Kate
Your dad does? � Shan
If he�s in the mood � Kate

Someone, somewhere in a hostess factory � a worker is cringing and doesn�t know why � Nick

Was that a twinkie snort? � Ann

It�s what I�m here for. Punctuation. � Lin
And cellophane � Laurie

You�re like a disease! You spread all over the place! � Laurie to Nick

Is that a fork and spoon in your ears? � Lin
Yeah, it�s actually a spork! � Kate

It�s best that no one writes down anything � Nick

I�ve been trying to refrain from making a comment on chocodiles � Nick
What- are they bigger than regular twinkies? � Kate

I�m just sharing lube � Kate

If there�s anyone who should be the bad homosexual it�s satan � Kathe

Cross my heart, stike me dead, stick a lobster on my head. � A large group of shippers
What the hell is that? � Laurie

That�s not fic, that�s roll call orgies � Lin

No ones looking, grab the latex � Lin

All the Christian girls love me � Kathe

That was one of her drunk moments � waitress about Kathe

I don�t like tomatoes � Shaye
Neither do I � Kathe
Oh there�s a surprise! � Shaye

Kill the cricket! Kathe

We�re all impressed with your phone prowess � Kathe

I would send you a tape, but you wouldn�t be able to play it � Lin

um... please don't let me get hit! - Shan

That�s what happens when you�re porn stars, people look � Natalie

It was wet! � Natalie

I think it�s a shipper field, the more shippers come around the worse she gets � Phi about Rach

Huge electric lethal phalic symbols � Shaye

Look, a triangle � Natalie
You had a child, what?? � Rachel
That�s what happens when you do too much porn � Natalie

Okay, Shan�s posessed � Natalie

There is just some excuse to look at breasts, I mean look where they all are! Even Nicks!! � Phil

Sleep is for con wimps � Paulie

I have to go, you�re too gay for me � Laurie

I wear cheese, cheese does not wear me � Kate

Why am I creating sperm out of tin foil? � Rachel

I am randomly making tin foil sperm now, I do apologize � Rachel

You got sperm all over the table! The tin man came�- Kate

You can make 19 sperm from 6 hershey kisses � Lin

Munchkin gang bang! � Kate

What does an elephant use as a tampon? A Sheep! � Laurie

Sarah Mclaughlan has monkey sex? � Kate

I made Rachel do happy place! � Kate

This is bloody late for lunch, isn�t it? � Virginia

Okay, I just shot myself � Natalie

When did I turn into a weakling? � Natalie

I�m not grabbing that � Quinn

You look stoned, I swear � Aileen
But I�m not! I swear! � Laurie

I feel like Shaye� I need something to stand on � Shan

Dr. Evil is hot okay! � Laurie

Slash happens � Kate

Oh Shan, I want to sleep with you and have your babies � Rachel

I can only look at 7 people at once � Phil

Anyway else and it looks like you�re kissing his ear � Aileen

Cristin; who can hear the word twincest 3 miles away � Nick

I wasn't that bad!... and if anyone asks where my shoes are... - Rach

It�s 8:30. Do you know where your shoes are? � Nick

Do you want my brush? I�m afraid of what you�d do with it so� - Rachel

It�s got to be tight � Phil

Okay, the longer it is, the tighter is has to be � Matt

It�s not often you see people slashing themselves � Nick

Can you lick his hair?! What?!?!? � Rach
He�s not talking about my hair � Matt

Bend over � Phil to Matt

And now this has degenerated into an actual braiding lesson � Aileen

Don�t be afraid to hurt me � Matt
Oh I like that �
Phil

I�m the official braid whore of the con now � Matt

Phil, where are your shoes?- Nick

Dear God man, what have you done?? � Matt, when he sees the braid

You�re in a public place! � Lin
And sitting right near me! � Shan

Get a room - Nick
They have a room � Lin
Go to your room � Nick
Okay! � Rachel

Do I have to duct tape your mouth shut? � Aileen
But my oral skill is my best trick � Matt

Are you alive? � Rachel
No � Cristin
Okay � Rachel

I�m going to lei your boyfriend � Aileen

I�m choking on glitter here � Phil

That�s my wary look, can�t you tell? � Corde

I think that�s potpouri and you�re not supposed to eat that � Corde

You can back away and run � John
Yeah, no problem � Natalie

So much of that kodak image did not need to be developed � Kelly

I�m the fairy king for crying out loud! � Ben

Scapespeare involves smacking now � Natalie

No defiling of the Fuzzy Pink Handcuffs! � Shan
But that�s what they�re there for � Rachel

�Jumping shrimp salad�, I prefer my shrimp not to jump � Lin

I�m not eating Gigi � Shan

I am disturbed, but not by you � Lin

Go mom! � Mary�s son

Now that my heart has been restarted � Laurie

I don�t want a monkey down my shirt! � Kate
Yes you do! � Laurie

Rach, are you dirty dancing with Bongo? � Phil

We made an Oboe sandwich � Phil

It�s great! How do you think I ended up with 2 wives? � Phil

I'm sorry Patrick, I can't date you anymore cause my husband doesn't like you - Shan

We�re good friends, with the sex � Phil to Rachel

I�m not standing up cause I don�t want to � Shan

I�m not standing up cause I have a big mouth � Kate

At least it�s not something he can shove his hand up its bum � Sarah

Everyones brain went to the same place � Natalie

Can I squirt your shamu? � Phil

Stop with the porn! We�re having the meeting! � Aileen

Oh, that just didn�t come out right � Sarah

We can�t continue to hold Murray � Sarah

Stop squirting your�NO! See my filter works! � Lin

It came out the wrong hole �Rach

I work in chicago so I randomly walk into traffic, then I stand in the middle with cars wizzing by � Laurie

I think Aileen might be ready to kill you, so get your hand off my butt � Phil

I�m not Shaye, I don�t stand on stuff � Lin

Laurie said I could have her earplugs � Lin

We explain to them they they have to divide into groups of 8, and 9 is actually bigger than 8 � Lin

Everyones too tired to be corrupt � Phil

I have a boyfriend who spins me � Rachel

Do you want to keep your cup? � Waitress
Um, yeah� I was having fun with it � Phil

I�m leaving you for the cake dear � Rachel

I don�t want to eat it, its too beautiful � Rachel

Phil molested my cake � Rachel

Your county had the highest pregnancy rate.. they�re not that depressed � Phil

Canada is trying to steal your boyfriend! - Lin

I wil be a man whore for Canada � Phil

We play with hand balls. None of this nancy glove stuff � Phil

Yeah, that screwed up my internal clock for a good week � Ben

No one knows all the rules of cricket, not even the players � Lin

I have yet to get out of the bedroom � Nick

Anyone wanna go see Star Wars? � Elnea
I�d rather slit my wrists � Lin

I fell into the plant, now the plant is attacking my ear � Laurie

It�s a prehensile plant! � Kate

Laurie is prehensile plant food � Lin

Rachel makes men steril � Shan

I have a thumb tack attached to my hand � Rachel

Hey Phil, hows that saliva transfusion going? � Matt

Okay, they need a goodbye kiss before he goes to the bathroom � Lin

That�s really clever. He elbowed himself in the face with someone elses elbow � Lin

You�re a spiritual pornstar � Kate

Yeah, I could love a woman if she had a penis � Kate

It�s the evil plant that is eating you � Shan

They�re doing sword fighting without the swords. Which looks pretty bad � Shaye

Yeah, could you do a butt shot please?- Laurie

If we fall asleep, pics will be taken � Lin
And other things � Shaye

And Harvey is nuzzling Lin�s breast � Rachel

Corde told Phil she wanted me � Rachel

I ended up sleeping under the sheet that covers the mattress � Laurie

No, it�s not that kind of coke, you don�t snort it � Lin

I wish all the people from High School were here to see how disturbing I am � Lin

I wonder if I balled up little pieces of paper, I could hit em in his mouth? � Shan

I�m sleeping on the floor � Laurie, after seing the Rachel/Phil bed picture

They�re thirsty � Laurie
For alcohol � Natalie
Isn�t that what thirsty actually means? � Shaye

I just about died and took down all the apples with me � Laurie

Snorting straws is not good � Laurie

Are you groping me with an ice cube, Shaye? � Lin

Rach has gone lesbian, Phil � Shaye

You can hit on me if you want � Shan

I�m giving her attention to stop her lesbian activities � Phil

Did you clean out your bellybutton? � Rach to Phil

There seems to be a lesbian theme running here � Lin
There�s always a lesbian theme at ScaperCon � Shaye

Gravel was flying� - Shaye
Because you were singing the Mission Impossible theme? � Lin

Stop it! I don�t need Rygel/Orin porn and Rach/Phil porn in my head! � Shaye

I need a non-WB show � Kathe

Pay me and I�ll buy you � Kathe

I�m being kidnapped, but I�d still like to eat � Kathe

You are so my hetero life-mate � Kathe

I just noticed her there, how did I miss that?? � Shaye

Rach covered with something other than Phil
� Sarah

I don�t need alochol, just sleep-deprive me - Shan
ScaperCon 2002
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