Interview Suggestions
THE ACTIVE LISTENER | THE INACTIVE LISTENER |
Mindset: | |
1. Seeks information of value | 1. Quickly judges topics as boring |
2. Listens for content and ideas | 2. Criticizes speaker; gives approval or disapproval |
3. Explores the topic | 3. Challenges the topic |
4. Gives openings; encourages evaluations | 4. Listens for facts only |
5. Pays attention | 5. Fakes attention or denies any problems |
6. Concentrates, despite distractions | 6. Is easily distracted |
7. Filters out emotionally charged words | 7. Reacts emotionally to emotional words |
8. Lets the other person speak | 8. Interrupts frequently |
9. Makes mental notes of what is said | 9. Doesn't follow; drifts in & out of conversation |
10. Periodically summarizes | 10. Forces their own interpretation |
11. Seeks collaboration | 11. Minimizes feelings |
Phrases: | |
"Tell me more" | "Don't worry about it. It'll all work out." |
"You might also be interested in knowing..." | "I don't even want to discuss it." |
"What would you like to discuss?" | "Why don't you ... If I were you..." |
"What would you prefer to do next time?" | "Why do you say that?" |
"You seem frustrated." | "You'll get over it." |
"I'm not sure I understood you..." | "Eat something and you'll feel better." |
"So far, we've covered three main points... " | "So, what you're really trying to say is..." |
Body Lanaguage: | |
Firm, warm handshake, not quickly ended | Gives you a short, perfunctory handshake, leans way back, clasps hands, crosses arms |
Relaxed hands, not fist-like or flat on desk | Avoids eye contact |
Faces you without hiding face or mouth | Points finger or pen at you |
Strokes chin | Holds fingers up to enumerate points, with palms towards you |
Smiles or laughs at something funny | Uses hands to shield face and/or mouth |
Moves reluctantly to take phone call | Puts on jacket and buttons it |
Makes a single or double head nod (continually nodding is not good) | Plays w/items on desk or arranges papers |
Body Lanaguage: | Rolls tongue inside cheek, rubs nose |
Takes off glasses, unbuttons coat | Doesn't return a smile or smiles continuously |
Leans forward promptly to receive papers | |
Moves objects away that are on the desk between you | |