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Conversations by the Shinra Caught on Tape!
The Shinra people have been caught on tape! Some exclusive converstions were recorded and presented here!
Conversations: Rufus and his Father, Reeve's Christmas, Cloud's Family
Conversation between 19 year old Rufus and his fat father!
Fat Mr. Shinra: Hey son! I bought you a cool magazine!
Rufus: the girl next door?! DAD! this is PORN!
Fat Mr. Shinra: Uhhh gee son, I know! Porn is good!
Rufus: i know i was adopted....
Fat Mr. Shinra: can i have the magazine
Rufus: no...i have plans for it. *burns it in the fireplace*
Rufus: ahhh. nice and relaxing
Fat Mr. Shinra: fine i will go look at my porn in my room
Fat Mr. Shinra: *runs out* RUFUUUSS! have you seen my porn?!
Rufus: Oh, I needed something to start the fire with!
Fat Mr. Shinra: damn you! fine! i'll go look up porn on the internet!
Fat Mr. Shinra: *boots up the computer and it crashes *
Fat Mr. Shinra: F***ing Windows 98!
Rufus: thats why you should have WIndows XP! I have that you idiot
Fat Mr. Shinra: can i use it
Rufus: no! go play with Windows 98
Fat Mr. Shinra: fine, i'm off to the Honeybee Inn
Fat Mr. Shinra: were is my wallet?
Rufus: dunno. i saw Dark Nation burying something in the back yard though
Dark Nation: *buried the wallet and the membership*
Fat Mr. Shinra: no! first i don't get my porn! then F***ing Windows 98 messes up, now my ticket to porn is gone!
The moral to the story?
Do Not Use Windows 98!
Merry Christmas From Reeve
Reeve: Hey everyone!
Rufus: What do you want?
Reeve: Oh nothing, I just wanted to take some time to say that I love you all!
you guys are all like family to me!
Scarlet: *sarcastic* Aww
Reeve: And what better way to show I love you guys than with a Christmas Present from me, Reeve!
Scarlet: This better be worth it, Reeve
Reeve: Oh but it is! Don't forget about me! Even if another Head of Public Safety Management comes!
Don't forget me! There's only one ME!
Rufus: And for that we are so thankful. I'm glad there only is one you. Pity if there was another of you. I'd feel sorry for the people around him! *flicks his hair*
Heidegger: Don't just stand there Reeve! I want my present! GYAAA HAA HAA!
This sho' was nice of you to get us all presents! Is mine edible? GYAA HAA HAAAA!!!
Palmer: Hey-hey yeah!
Reeve: Follow me, friends!
*They follow Reeve*
Reeve: Under this blanket is your unique one of a kind gift! They are all from ME! REEVE!
Aren't ya'll special?
*Reeve pulls back the blanket to reveil four giant Mog and Cait Sith plushie dolls*
Reeve: Taaa Daaa! I have a whole warehouse full of these babies and I thought,
why not give them to my dearest friends for Christmas?
Scarlet: Oh, Reeve, you shouldn't have. I really mean, YOU SHOULD'NT HAVE
Rufus: Oh this is the real nice. I've ALWAYS wanted one of these things.
*mutters* I'll put it in the guestroom. Hardly anyone goes there.
Heidegger: GYAAA HA HA! I get it, there is food in the inside!
Scarlet: Heidegger, you are an idiot.
Palmer: I'm gonna launch mine into space.
Reeve: I just knew you'd all love my gift! You guys are sooo great!
And the moral to this?
Don't give people huge 3 foot plushies that they have no use for
Cloud's Family Reunion
One fine spring day Cloud got done his janitor duties at Shinra Inc. He got up the nerve to enter the luncheon room where Rufus and the rest of Shinra ate lunch
Cloud: Hi Mr President Rufus, I um was um wondering if like,
i could like have tomorrow off, cuz like i have family reunion to go to man.
Rufus: YOU have a family!? I'd think they'd all of killed themselfs being related to YOU
Scarlet: Must be visiting days at prison
Reno: Either that or its visiting days at the loony bin
Cloud: no you bunch of silly willies! Its at Nibelheim!!!
Rufus: I'm sorry, but I don't believe you.
Last time you said you had a family get together you lied and went to see Blues Clues On Ice
Cloud: waaaaah I'm telling the truth
Scarlet: FINE than that means the three of us may come, right?
Cloud: Ummmm OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! My mommy and my daddy can see my friends!!!
Shinra and Cloud go to Nibelheim
Scarlet: Yuck, this rotten old trailor is YOUR home?
Cloud: Yup! After the house was repossessed mommy and daddy bought this.
but the reunion is outside!
Woman: WOW! Its my preccccccious widdle Cloudy Woudy poopoo babykins! Come say hi to mommmmmy! *kiss kiss kiss*
Cloud: This is my mommy Sunni!
Man: Hey how's daddy's little man! Come mere and gimme 5! *holds hand up*
Cloud: I forgot how to do "five" but this is my daddy, Sky!
Young Woman: Oh, is that my baby brother! Awww you are so sweet Cloudy! Come here and give your sissy a big ol' smoochie!
Oh Cloud, you are just so cute!
Cloud: Thats my big sissy Raine!
Old Lady: dagnabit i went and dropped my specks!
Cloud: that is my granny, Gail! She's a little cranky because she fell down, broke a hip, landed in the hospital, got pneumonia and shes got a plastic hip
Different woman: Oh ma honey, s'ok here lemme get em for ya! Der we are!
Cloud: THAT is my super cool Auntie Breezy! My mommmys widdle sister! she's married to my Uncle Twister!
Clouds Uncle Twister: *has a hangover, puking* HEY dear, please get me another beer!
Rufus: This explains it. Cloud is an idiot. and his family are idiots. Lets get out of here!
Cloud: My wiener doggies name is Stormy!!
Reno: *steals the booze* YEAH! Lets get out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scarlet: ..........
Cloud: Well family. lets go watch Blues Clues!!
Family: YEAHHH!!!
The Moral of the Story?
Cloud is a moron
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