Two Pina Coladas
Song by: Garth  Brooks
Fic by~ThE gOdDeSs Of DeAtH

        
         If there was one thing Relena loved, it was her job. She got up every morning at six, ate a healthy breakfast, did a morning workout, took a shower, got dressed, and applied makeup. At eight she was in her office and cheerfully going about her day. She adored her people, and was always happy to work for them. 
         On a very normal day, while humming to herself, Relena made her way down the hallway of the large building that held her offices. Her hair was up in an elegant and neat donut bun. She wore a simple pinstripe skirt and jacket with a white button up shirt. Her sensible black pumps and pantyhose finished off the outfit.    
         She smiled when she remembered Dorothy's favorite saying when Relena noticed a new man leaving the duelist's chambers---"Men are like pantyhose---they need to be handled delicately, or they'll get a run in them, and then they're gone.  That's why you should go for a woman when in need of a long term relationship--they're like well-knit socks."
         As she walked down towards the office, her briefcase bounced off her hip. Dorothy's interesting remarks always drew a smile out of her.
         Speaking of smiles, when was the last time she'd seen Heero smile?
         Relena frowned. It'd been ages. Ever since they'd been together, Relena had been trying her best to satisfy him. Dorothy had suggested having an affair, while slipping her private number into the sandy blonde's hands. Catherine claimed that if he wasn't trying as hard as she was to make the relationship work, screw him. And Sally was saying that she should make him suffer. A couple of mean words here, some teasing about his performance in bed there. Noin had agreed.
         "Always go for a man's pride," the Italian woman told her. "Insult him and he'll do anything to prove you wrong."
         It sounded sensible enough, but Relena couldn't do it. All she wanted was for him to be happy. But the way things were going, she was wondering if she was looking at it from the wrong angle or something. Maybe she should----
         Suddenly, Relena slammed into an employee who was bolting down the hallway. They both tripped and fell flat on their behinds. The blonde bit back a curse and pushed herself up gracefully, extending a hand to the poor person to help him up.
         "S-s-sorry," the poor man stuttered, shaking with fear as she pulled him up.
         Honestly, Relena thought in exasperation, what the hell is wrong with these people? Last time I checked, I didn't have horns!
         "It's okay," she soothed, and, removing her hand, turned on her heel and started walking. When she looked down she noticed a tear in her pantyhose.
         "Damn," she muttered, and tugged at it, hoping her skirt would cover it. If she didn't hurry, she'd be late!
         Smoothing down her hair, she hurried down the hallway.


         Relena waved to her secretary, Mrs. Malokie, and opened her office door. It was a beautiful room with bay windows on one side. She had a cherry oak desk set infront of the windows, and some couches and chairs sprawled out in the spacious room as well. Portraits of her ancestors hung on the walls, her friends and closer family's photos on her cluttered desk.
         But, instead of going about work in her usual brisk manner, she stopped dead.
         Standing at her desk was Heero.
         "Heero," she said in surprise, but his neutral expression didn't change.
         "Relena," he acknowledged. Relena hesitated for a moment and then made her way over to her chair,  smiling at him cheerfully, letting him see how much she adored him.
         "What can I do for you?" she asked, still smiling like a dolt. Yes, she would even slash her pride to bits for him if necessary.
         Heero clasped his hands behind his back, looking straight into her eyes.
         "It's over."
         Relena went still, and her smile froze. It's over. The words echoed in her mind. Strangely enough, they didn't hurt as much as she thought they would have.
         "May I ask why?" she inquired, her voice chilled, her face now neutral, as it was when she dealt with political issues. Heero grimaced.
         "I'm tired of being with the Ice Queen," he replied. That stung. She inwardly winced at the cruel name. "I compete with your job for who gets to see you most. It's not worth it. Besides, I've fallen for someone else."
         "Who?"
         "Sylvia Noventa. I'm sure you've heard of her."
         "Yes, I have." Her voice was cold enough to freeze hell over. Back rigid, she stood up. "It was a pleasant experience, Mr. Yuy. I hope you will continue working for us in the Preventers. You have my best wishes. Ms. Noventa is a good woman."
         It was clearly a dismissal. Her rivals had gotten more pleasant good-byes than that. Heero looked stunned, and it took a moment for him to regain his control. He nodded and turned, leaving silently. As soon as he was gone, Relena grabbed a photo of him and raised it, ready to throw it at the door. However, reminding herself that she was a politician, whom needed to always maintain self control, she settled for slamming it down, mentally cursing, and running a hand through her bangs.

                                                
         That night, after a long day of work -- which was strange, because she rarely thought of her days as long -- Relena kicked off her shoes and sat on her bed. She'd worked harder today than she ever had before. She knew it was to keep her mind off of Heero. It hadn't worked.                          
         Sighing, she clicked on the television. Maybe something good was on. Something really sad to match her mood. Or maybe something really violent where a brown haired boy with Prussian eyes gets maimed and tortured.
         Embarrassed at her own horrid thoughts, she flicked on the news. Something interesting might be going on. As soon as she flicked on channel two, a man in a yellow suit burst onto the screen, yelling at the top of his lungs. Relena jumped and was about to turn down the volume when she tuned in to what he was saying.

[I was watchin' the news
I was feelin' the blues
When this fella came on TV]

         "Feeling depressed?!" he asked eagerly. A picture of rain came up behind him. "Somebody dump you? Need to take a break?"
         "You have no idea," Relena muttered, leaning closer in interest.
         In the next moment he was standing on a plastic island with a big, fake palm tree swaying over him. Cartoon waves ran by. A little sailboat attached to a string floated across the screen.
         "Come on down to the sea! Nothing heals heartache like these crashing waves and beautiful sunsets! Science has proved that the sea can help a broken heart heal!"

[He said I'm tellin' you
That science has proved
That heartaches are healed by the sea]

         Relena was interested. Correct that, intrigued. And convinced that this was what she needed.
         Jumping up,  she grabbed a pen and wrote the number of the hotel listed in the commercial down on her palm. Smiling, she grabbed the phone. When the front desk answered, the smile spread into an all-out grin.
         "Yes, I'd like to reserve a suite, please..."


         "You'll be okay?" Noin asked in concern. Even at twenty-five, Relena was considered too young to be on her own. Miliardo had all but drugged the sandy blonde to keep her home.
         "Quite," she replied happily. "I'm overdue for a vacation, and with Heero and all..."
         "That's right!" Dorothy interrupted jovially. "Have a one-night stand! Call me after you have sex, no, call me *while* you're having sex. I want details, and maybe a videotape---"
         When she saw the looks the other women sent her way, she casually shut up.
         "Well," Relena beamed, slipping on a pair of Audrey Hepburn glasses. "Wish me a happy vacation. And make sure to take care of business while I'm gone."
         They all nodded, and after some hugs and misty eyes, Relena stepped into the cab.

[That got me goin'
Without even knowin'
I packed right up and flew down]   

         Relena wrapped a light blue skirt around her slim waist. It had white hibiscus on it, and fell to her knees. When she moved it flowed around her. She wore a simple blue bikini top and bottom, with plain black flip flops on her feet. Her hair was in a long braid past her waist.
         The blonde made her way down the stairs and towards the beach. There was a bar there, and she stopped in front of it, grinning.
         "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired, flashing her a white smile. Ooh. Sizing him up, she took in his bulging muscles, bright green eyes, and red hair. Oh, yeah. She loved a man with muscles.
         "You on a platter," she replied, winking. Yeah, after a couple of glasses of the wine in her room, she was feeling a little bold.
         "Hmm..." He pretended to consider this. "We're out of platters, but I've got a bed."
         Relena smiled, and then said, "Two pina coladas."
         His brow furrowed. "What?"
         "That's what I want," she clarified, biting back another grin at his lost face. He was cute, but she wasn't in the mood for a man. After Heero, it wasn't so appealing. Teasing them was another thing. "Though, call me when you get those platters back in."
         When he poutingly slid her the drinks, she pulled the money out of her bikini top. His eyes gleamed.
         "Down boy," she whispered, picking up a glass in either hand and skipping off to the beach. She lied down in the sand and downed her first drink in minutes. The earth tilted.
         "That's what I'm talking about," the blonde murmured happily.

[Now I'm on a roll
And I swear to my soul
Tonight I'm gonna paint this town.]

         She went through all different kinds of drinks that night. Something called a Cosmopolitan, a Margarita, a Screaming Orgasm, a White Russian, a French Kiss, a Sex in the Desert, and more than one Pina Colada. She drank so much she had to go back to her room to get more money a few times, but it was all well worth it. By the time the sun was setting, she was wondering,"Heero who?"
         When she finally remembered him, she thought, Screw him.
         She spotted a party not far away being held in a beach bungalow, and made her way there, albeit a bit shakily. But when she was there, she had two more Pina Coladas and was in the center of a group of dancing men and women. She ignored the men, and favored the women. Dorothy said that Relena would be a natural in "her" world. Smiling, Relena decided to try it out.

[So bring me two pi�a coladas
I gotta have one for each hand
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan
And never leave dry land ]

         After setting down her glasses, she spotted a familiar face. Relena squinted. Then, smiling, she made her way over to a petite German girl who was standing to the side, looking lonely.
         "Want to dance?" Relena asked, holding her hand. The girl looked up in surprise, and then smiled.
         "Hell yeah."
         The next moment they were together, pulled tight against one another, the taste and smell of alcohol on their breaths. Relena threw caution to the wind and kissed the girl, whom she knew as Hilde.

[Troubles, I forgot 'em
I buried them in the sand
So bring me two pi�a coladas]

         Suddenly, the world seemed to fade out. Hilde's arms came around Relena's neck, and Relena's around the German's waist. Their bodies moved against one another, hips grinding together.
         Relena traced Hilde's mouth with her tongue, and when the girl's mouth opened on a moan, she slipped her tongue inside.
         Heero no longer existed. Only Hilde and her sweet tasting mouth and soft body did.
         Relena didn't want him to ever come back.

[He said goodbye to his good timin' girl.
Goodbye!]

         Relena broke away, looking in Hilde's dazed eyes. Smiling, she took the girl's hand and pulled her out of the party.
         "Relena," Hilde said behind her,"what are you doing here?"
         Relena shrugged casually, before finding what she was looking for. Exit. Tugging on her hand, the blonde led her to a secluded part of the beach. Then, before another word was shared, Relena's lips met hers. Hilde groaned, slumping into the politician's arms. Slowly, Relena lowered them to the ground.
         The moon gave Hilde a pale glow, making her look angelic and mystical. Relena's heart pounded. The waves crashed behind them, and the wind mussed their hair. It soothed her, and she kissed Hilde again, never wanting to stop kissing the German.
         So she didn't. Hilde didn't mind.

[Oh now I've gotta say
That the wind and the waves
And the moon winkin' down at me
Eases my mind
By leavin' behind
The heartaches that love often brings ]

         Hilde mumbled and sighed late the next afternoon, stretching like a lazy cat. Luckily, she had slept through her hangover. Now it was time to go find Kirsten and get the info on the next party.
         The black haired girl started to slide out of bed, but a slim leg hooked over her hip and a pair of arms she hadn't noticed before tightened around her chest. O-kay. Who did those belong to?
         Then it clicked. Oh, dear.
         She turned over slowly in her lover's arms, and her eyes came to rest on a sleeping Relena. There was a smug smile on the blonde's face that made the German blush. Relena looked very proud of herself...
         For a moment Hilde considered quickly removing herself from the bed, putting on her clothes, and running off. But something held her back. She recalled the words whispered last night, sweet words of love and happiness. Promises that she believed were true. Maybe, just maybe, this was destiny. It worked in very strange ways sometimes, but it always happened.
         Smiling brightly, and wondering if this cheerfulness would ever go (and doubting it would),  she snuggled closer to Relena and went back to sleep.
        
         They spent the week together, laughing and making love and getting to know each other. They found out that they were amazingly compatible, and that, maybe, just maybe, this relationship could work out. They were sure willing to try.
         So, smiling and finally feeling complete, instead of lonely and inadequate, they went back to the restored Cinq Kingdom. Life, Relena thought as she sat on the plane with Hilde, could not get better.
         Hilde felt a bit nervous about the different homes they had. Hers was on Colony 02. Suddenly she grinned. Wherever Relena was, that was home. She knew without a doubt Colony 02 would be horrible without the diplomat. So she would come live in the Cinq Kingdom.
         Even though they'd only been together for a week, they were like old souls being reunited. Love didn't need years, it only needed a second. A flash. And it could bind two people together for the rest of their lives.

[Now I've got a smile
That goes on for miles
With no inclination to roam
I've gotta say
That I think I've gotta stay
'Cause this is feelin more and more like home ]

         Heero sat in Relena's room, waiting patiently, holding a red rose.
         She'd gone away because of the pain he'd put her through. But pain brought two people closer. Now she'd be more dedicated to him, just like he had always wanted. Adoration to blind worship.
         He smiled. Yes, life was good. Relena was his, and always would be, the world was peaceful, and he got to live in this big mansion. And he got to sleep in a big canopy bed. A very *arousing* canopy bed.
         In only a few hours, he could take Relena with a romantic novel-worthy passion on this big bed. Ahh, yes, only a few hours.

         Only a few hours, he kept telling himself twelve hours later, clutching the rose impatiently. Just a little longer, and she'll finally get here. God damn, but what was taking her so long?

         Hilde snuggled closer to Relena, sitting on her lap and smiling contentedly. Sally, Noin, Dorothy, and Catherine all exchange looks of pride. And pain. It was almost disgusting how much these two were into each other. They were all in the diplomat's office, spread out on the couches usually used for visiting politicians. They all toasted Relena and Hilde with Pina Coladas.
         "So, " Dorothy said, smirking. "What about Heero?"
         "Heero who?" Relena asked, grinning back.
         "The one who's waiting for you in your bedroom with a rose," Sally said, smiling widely. The women burst out laughing.
         "He had his chance," Hilde said, waving a hand impatiently. "We can't help it if he's too stupid to respect such a wonderful woman....and lover..."
         Dorothy sniffed. "Are you so sure she's a wonderful lover? You haven't been with many women. " She smiled invitingly. "I could always test her out and see--"
         "Dorothy!" Catherine, her current lover,  scolded. "Behave yourself, or I'll have to punish you!"
         Dorothy just smiled.
         "You know," Relena said, suddenly realizing something. "I should have known it was over with Heero and me before I was in my office."
         "Why?"
         She smiled. "I tore my pantyhose."

         From that day on, Relena made sure to wear pants quite often, so she could wear some well knit socks under them. And she never had to worry about Hilde leaving her.

[Bring me two pi�a coladas
He said goodbye to his good timin' girl]