AUTHOR'S NOTES: Heya. Some things you might like to know.

First: This started out as a farce, and tries to continue as one, but in most parts it fails and comes across as a fairly normal narrative. Gomen ne! I tried, but I guess I just don't have enough practice at parodies. That, and this story, for some reason, just refused to swing that way.

Second: Any inaccurate representations of people's personalities are probably done for plot purposes, or just because I honestly did not know what the person would say under the set of circumstances they spoke under, and if you understood that, you'll get this fic with no problem. ^_^ For instance, Khan, though is supposed to be the representation of me, says and does a lot of things I normally wouldn't.

Third: I didn't use everyone's nicknames...I don't know why. Um...some seemed to fit, and others didn't. (Shrugs)

Fourth: If anyone is unhappy with the pairings they received, I don't know what to tell you. I tried to make everyone happy, but this is Sa-chan's fic, and her pairing was the one I tried to focus on.

And now that I've written notes about as long as my story, I'll stop and allow you to read the actual thing.

Zechs Marquis had a feeling that something decidedly bad was about to happen. He often had this feeling when crazed fanfic writers were about to do something especially cruel to him, like put him in an Alternate Universe where he was a sadistic bastard, or a slash story with that obnoxious American--Maxwell.

Well, he decided suddenly, I'll have none of that today. Whatever she wants--for it was almost always inevitably a female fic writer--I'll just say no.

Yeah right, another little voice chortled, as if THAT ever worked.

Zechs gritted his teeth at that. There's always a first time for everything.

This is true, the second voice agreed. "But today is not that day."

The blond officer blinked when he realized the voice was no longer in his head. "Oh no..."

There was a muted explosion with enough force to knock him against the wall, followed by enough smoke to constitute a descent forest blaze. Maniacal laughter filled the air.

"Muwahahahahaha-- *cough* *cough* (choke)"

Zechs blinked as a hand cut through the haze and waved about.

"Damn melodramatic fire-and-brimstone entrances. Sheesh. It's enough to make a person turn good. At least the good guys get rose petals or sparkles when they poof in."

By the time the new arrival had finished her speech, the smoke had cleared, and Zechs beheld a dark-robed figure. There was little else to see, except for the chin and mouth of presumably female person-which was the only parts of her body not cloaked in black. The mouth turned up in a Cheshire Cat grin that reminded him inexorably of Duo Maxwell. He shuddered.

"Ohoyo!" she sang cheerily, then frowned when Zechs didn't respond. She promptly produced an odd-looking metal staff from mallet-space and rapped him firmly on the head. "Hey!"

"Itai! Stop that!"

He made a grab for the staff, but missed, and the vaguely threatening way she held it discouraged him from pursuing.

"Oh good," she said, smile reappearing. "You're still coherent. In my line of work, that's not always a given."

"I can see why," the pilot of Tallgeese said blandly, rubbing his head. If possible, the smile got broader. "Who are you? How did you get in here?"

"I'm Sith Inductee Khan." She swept into a bow. "At your service."

"Sith? That sounds rather evil."

She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Well, ungood, anyway. Alright," she continued abruptly, before he could ask something else, "let's go."

Zechs frowned, trying to maintain his cool exterior while groping the wall behind him for a handhold. "Go? Go where?"

She waggled her finger at him. "Ah ah. That's for me to know, and you to worry about."

He hugged the wall. "I'm not going anywhere with you," he said, as firmly as possible, though the quiver in his voice belied his calm appearance.

The smile turned feral. "Come on, Zechs. Don't be such a wimp. It's not going to be too bad."

He edged away. "You're lying."

She thought about that for a moment, as if debating whether or not to deny the allegation. Then she shrugged. "Of course I am. I'm Sith. Now come along." She slammed the staff into the ground and a long, curved glowing blade unfolded from the side. "Lightscythe," she said cheerily. "Pretty cool, ne?" Before he could answer--if she even wanted an answer to what probably was a rhetorical--she took hold of the lightscythe and swung it through the air. Surprisingly, the tip of the glowing blade caught hold of the air and sliced a wide tear through it, leaving a gaping black slash.

"N-nani!?" Zechs cried.

"Hayaku!" she snapped. "Rifts of time and space tend to be more unstable the longer they're left open."

"Nani?!"

She sighed. "Hoo boy, he's getting hysterical. And he was doing so well, too." A flick of her wrist sent the glowing blade back into the strange metal staff, and then she was next to him and the strange metal staff was smashing into his head with blinding force and the last thing he heard before passing out was a disgruntled, "Stupid bishonen, always panicking...I hope Sa-chan will forgive me for delivering slightly damaged goods..."

It was a normal dinner time 'round the anime club table...but normal, being what it was in the presence of (WA)², did not mean quiet....or even sane, in any sense of the word. So, when Sith inductee Khan stepped out of her dimensional rift and was nearly plowed down by a red-headed girl waving a shoe in one hand with triumphant glee and then again by a girl with long brown corkscrew curls who was following at the red-head's heels, she merely raised an eyebrow at a girl who sat at the table, fiddling with her Prince Endymion key chain.

Ann Marie shrugged and grinned, then patted an empty chair beside her welcomingly. Sith inductee Khan shrugged back. Making sure the danger was past, she slipped into the empty seat and put a wrapped box on the table. Kelly, president of (WA)² and Obi-Wan obsessor extraordinaire glanced up and smiled. "Hey, Sonnet."

"Hey," S.i. Khan returned.

At the sound of her voice, a girl with glasses looked up. "Hi, Sonnet. You wanna study biology now?"

Khan grimaced at the word "study" and it deepened at the word "biology."

"Later."

Ann Marie tilted her head. "Are you going to eat dinner, then?"

Khan shook her head. "No, I'm here to give Sa-chan her present." She nodded her head at the girl with glasses.

Sa-chan's eyes lit up. "Ooo," she chuckled. "Good! Presents are good."

Khan pushed the wrapped box across to her.

"Thanks!" Sa-chan said, and dug into it. When it was unwrapped and opened, Sa-chan tilted her head curiously.

"Um...thanks, Sonnet, they're cool. But, uh, what am I supposed to do..."

"Don't worry," Khan hastily explained. "They're just accessories to a larger gift. It's in my room. Wanna come with me and see?"

"Sure!"

"Can I see, too?" Ann Marie asked.

Khan nodded. "Yep, let's go."

Ann Marie and Sa-chan picked up their trays and followed Sith inductee Khan out of the cafeteria.

Zechs Marquis woke to babbling female voices.

Kami-sama...not my stupid sister and her giggling friends again.

"Zechs?!"

"You like?"

"B-but--how? I mean--where?"

"Sore wa himitsu desu."

"This is so cool! Can you get me Trowa?"

"No, I don't think I should risk it. Besides, wouldn't Steve be a little upset?"

"He doesn't have to know about it."

"Um, Sonnet? Why is he unconscious?"

"Well..."

Zechs thought he might as well open his eyes. It wasn't as if he hadn't dealt with this sort of thing before. When his vision focused he saw a concerned pair of eyes framed in wire-rim glasses, offset by dark gold curls. His brain adjusted to take in the whole picture and he realized the eyes and hair belonged to a girl.

"Isn't he kawaii?" cooed someone out of his line of sight. He wasn't sure what was worse: waking up in another universe where crazed girls would no doubt assault him left and right, or being called kawaii, of all the humiliating things. He shifted his head and saw two more girls, both with long brown hair. Eyes narrowing with suspicion, he held up one hand so it covered the top of the larger girl's face, leaving only her chin and mouth, lips pulled back in that all too familiar grin.

"You!" he snarled, and lunged.

Then there was a flash of light and Zechs was blasted back against a wall for the second time in less than an hour.

"Master!" a voice said into the sudden silence. "I think the Sith have infiltrated the Counsel!"

A pause.

"Master?"

Zechs blinked away the spots obscuring his vision and saw a young man with spiky red-brown hair wearing robes of beige and brown, holding a glowing sword that hummed as he stood in the middle of the room, blinking.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Khan said incredulously. "Oh dear."

"Oh dear?" Zechs snapped. "What's 'oh dear'?"

"Uh, well, I think I didn't seal up that rift as well as I thought."

"That can't be a good thing," the girl with glasses said with concern.

"It's not."

Obi-Wan was not listening to them. He was tracing his training bond to locate his master. "He's in this building on another hall!" he declared, powered down his lightsaber and was out the door before anyone could stop him.

"Crap!" Khan squawked. "The last thing I need are a couple of Jedi running around my school. Come on, Ann Marie, you've gotta help me catch them."

"Wait!" the girl with glasses cried as the two started for the door. "What about...him?" She waved at Zechs.

Khan looked at him then shrugged. "He's your Christmas present. He's your problem."

"Wait, that's not fair..."

The Sith inductee interrupted with a grin and a sly, "I'm sure you can find something to do with him. Just don't make too much of a mess."

The girl with glasses thought about that for a moment, and then turned pink. "Sonnet!!"

But the Sith inductee was already gone.

Zechs waited patiently as the remaining girl turned and looked at him. At lest she had the grace to look rather apologetic.

"Hi," she offered, sticking out her hand. "I'm Sarah. You must be Zechs."

He thought that was rather obvious, but said, "I am," anyway, taking the offered hand and shaking it.

"Um, pleased to meet you. Are you...hungry, or something?"

He waited for her to jump him, and when she didn't, he hesitated, caught off guard. "Hm. I guess I am."

"Well," she looked at the clock, "it's too late to get something in the cafeteria. Probably a good thing," she added with a little grin. "But I guess...we can order pizza or something."

"Order...pizza."

"Mm," she confirmed, then gave him a startled look. "Haven't you ever ordered out pizza?"

He raised an elegant eyebrow, then looked down at the pristine red-and-white uniform. Sa-chan tried to picture him eating pizza and failed, chuckling. "I guess not. Well, there's always a first for everything. Come on, we'll go find a phone book or something."

She clutched a partially unwrapped box a little tighter and led him out the door.

Elsewhere in the building, Khan was following the aura of the Jedi, Ann Marie on her heels. It led her to a room in another hall. The door was slightly ajar, so she simply pushed her way in.

"...still, Qui-Jen," Qui-Gon was saying to yet another girl with long, dark hair(1), "I find it difficult to believe that there is a gray side of the Force."

Khan pulled her lightscythe out of mallet-space and attacked, pausing only long enough to say the trademark Sith phrase: "Finally, I shall have my REVENGE!" Even though Khan was fairly certain there was nothing to avenge, really. She just liked to say it.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan activated their lightsabers and battle ensued.

Qui-Jen stood up and moved as far away from the fighting as she could, using her fairly thorough knowledge of the Force to keep damage to her personal property at a minimum.

Padawan, she called. Come to me.

Sure, a voice answered in kind. Where are you?

Follow the Force.

There was a pause.

Er, Master...it really would be faster if you just told me...

Qui-Jen sighed. In my room.

Gotcha. Be there in a sec.

In a few minutes, Kelly appeared at the door, dodged the combatants and came to stand next to her Master in a shielded corner of the room.

"What do you think, my padawan?" Qui-Jen(2) waved at the three.

"I think the padawan with the spiky hair is cute."

Qui-Jen rolled her eyes. "Anything else?"

"I don't know," Kelly shrugged, then hesitated. "Master, are we good or evil this week?"

Qui-Jen thought about it. "Good question, my padawan." Qui-Jen thought about it some more, because the job description for a Jedi Master required at least three minutes of deep thought before every decision. "Well, only one way to find out."

Kelly tilted her head. "Hours of meditation and trials testing our ability to resist or succumb to the Dark Side? A lecture from Yoda? An impossible quest on a planet that no one's ever heard of and whose real importance no one really knows where you or I or both of us get captured and our loyalty to the Council and each other and the Light are tested?"

Qui-Jen blinked. "No. Padawan, do you have a coin?"

Kelly blinked, then dug in her pocket for a moment and came up with a nickel. "Will this do?"

"Peachy."

Qui-Jen took the coin and flipped it. It landed on its edge. Qui-Jen and Kelly stared.

"If that isn't proof of the Gray Side..." the Master muttered.

"Now what?" Kelly wondered.

They exchanged glances. Then, in an impressively synchronized movement, they both flung their arms towards the Jedi and Sith, palms out.

*Whoosh*

Khan, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon flew off their feet and into the hallway, crashing into the wall outside. As she slid into a heap of limbs, Khan turned a rather disgruntled look at Ann Marie. "A little help, please?"

Ann Marie hesitated for a moment, then did the only thing she could think of: she closed her eyes, took a breath and said: "Kan...jin," in a voice that echoed really more than it should have.

Immediately, bright red light, which originated from a symbol on her forehead, filled the hallway. When it was gone, it left three stunned and slightly disoriented seishi in its wake.

"N-nani?" Hotohori murmured as he looked around.

Nuriko didn't have time to formulate an answer, because a shrill "Nuriko-chan!!" set his ears ringing and the next thing he knew, he was being bowled over a flattened by an enthusiastic glomping.

"Eh, Sonnet-khan? I'd like my seishi living, please."

"Nuriko-kun, daijobou, no da?" the third one asked tentatively.

Nuriko was too busy trying to extract himself from the Sith-turned-leech to be able to reply. Hotohori picked himself off the ground and said rather crossly. "I'd thank you to take your hands off my Nuriko."

Chichiri looked at his emperor. "Your Nuriko?"

Hotohori blushed, but was saved from having to reply when Nuriko finally managed to get free and darted off, Khan at his heels. "Get back here!" the royal seishi ordered, and ran after them.

"Saa, no da!" Chichiri sighed, then flinched when he noticed a girl standing at his elbow, smiling up with a distinctly predatory look in her eyes. "Can I help you with something, no da?" he asked uneasily.

"I need to borrow your kasa."

He frowned, despite the mask. How many misadventures had begun with those words? "It's not a toy, no da."

Her eyes narrowed, and the red symbol on her forehead lit up. "I am the Miko," she said slowly, voice low and intense, "and I want to borrow your kasa."

"Eh...sure no da!"

Abruptly, all the danger drained from her, and she was just a smiling girl, now holding the coned Chinese hat. "Domo arigato!" she chirped, put the kasa on and vanished beneath it.

"Saaaaaa!" Chichiri groaned, and decided perhaps he'd better go find the other seishi.

Footnotes:
(1) There are really too many girls with long, dark hair in the Anime club. It's getting really hard to come up with original descriptions for everybody!
(2) All these hyphenated names are a bugger to type over and over. Uh, just thought you'd like to know.

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