Religion
“Layna’s Catholic, and she’s cool. She’s sort of like a liberal Catholic, though….Wait, is there such a thing as a liberal Catholic?”
“Yeah, but most people call them Episcopalians.”
~ Me and Gino on Catholicism
“Speak of angels, and you shall hear their wings.”
~ Fu, Magic Knights Rayearth
“Whoever said that there wouldn’t be pain?” asked the Lord. “Where is it written that there shouldn’t be pain?”
“It’s a hard life You gave us.”
“Why should it be soft?” spake the Lord.
“And very tough.”
“Why should it be easy?”
“Why should we love and worship You?”
“I’m God. I AM THAT I AM.”
“Will it make things better for us if we do?”
“Will it make things worse? Go into Egypt now and say to the children of Israel that the God of their fathers wants you to gather them around you and lead them all out.”
Moses, ever unassuming, was pessimistic about his chances. “Why should they believe me? Why should they follow me? What should I say to them when they ask me Your name?”
“I AM THAT I AM.”
“I AM THAT I AM?”
“I AM THAT I AM.”
“You want me to tell them You’re I AM THAT I AM?”
“I AM THAT I AM,” repeated God. “And from the Pharaoh,” He went on, “I charge you to get permission to journey into the wilderness for three days to make sacrifices to Me. Tell him to let your people go.”
“Let my people go?”
“Let my people go,” spake the Lord.
“Will he let my people go?”
“I will harden his heart.”
“So he won’t let my people go?”
“Now you’ve got it. I want to show what I can do. I want to trot out my stuff for the children of Israel.”
“It won’t work,” insisted Moses in a voice laden with gloom. “They’ll never believe me.”
“They’ll believe you, they’ll believe you,” promised the Lord. “Why shouldn’t they believe you?”
Now, the second part! (Sorry, I just really like this section…^_^;;)
“Why are You being so evil to the people? Is this why You sent me to them? You haven’t made things any easier, and neither have they been delivered from the Pharaoh.”
“I was hardening his heart.”
“Again You’re hardening his heart? Why must his heart be so hard?”
“To allow Me to demonstrate powers that are greater than those of all his magicians and of all other gods. And to impress upon the world forever that you are the people I have chosen as favorites.”
“Will that make much difference?”
“No difference at all.”
“Then where is the sense?”
“Whoever said I was going to make sense?” answered God. “Show Me where it says I have to make sense. Sense, he wants yet. I’ll give milk, I’ll give honey. Not sense. Oh Moses, Moses, why talk of sense? Your name is Greek and there hasn’t even been a Greece yet. And you want sense. If you want to have sense, you can’t have religion.”
“We don’t have a religion.”
“I’ll give you a religion,” said God.
~ Moses and God, God Knows by: Joseph Heller God, I love that man. ^_^
“I am become Jesus Christ! AH HAHAHAHAHA!!”
“I am become…skeptical.”
~ Micah Hoffman and Mulder, The X-files
“Hymns here! Get your hymns here! Fresh from God’s brain to your mouth.”
~ Bart, The Simpsons
“Don’t make Me come down there!”
~ God
“I have broken the fourth commandment.”
“…You killed somebody?”
“Of…course not!”
~ The Mask of Zorro
“…do you believe in hell?…Don’t you think that this world is hell? A place where evil rules with their bloodied hands out for all to drink from?”
~ Shishio, Rurouni Kenshin
“So this is hell…and there’s a crucifix in it.”
~ The Birdcage
“In the old days, they used to kill virgins. Religion is sick!”
~ Hrothulf, Grendel by John Gardner
And then I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.
And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given him: and he went forth conquering and to conquer.
And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see.
And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they would kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.
And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And beheld and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.
And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
~ Revelations 6: 1-8 (well, part of 8, anyway)
“Revelations is that best part of the Bible!”
“Oh sure, if really depressing apocalyptic doom is your sort of thing.”
~ Me and Layna
“Ray, when someone asks you if you are a god…You. Say. YES!!”
~ Winston to Ray, Ghostbusters the first movie
“We all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything? Now God’s got to punish us. God has to punish us for all mankind. And what was women’s punishment: painful childbirth, menstrual cycles. What was man’s punishment? We have to deal with women. Now don’t get upset. Don’t get upset! That’s why I get so upset when people say God hates gays. God does not hate gay people! He’s just mad because they found a loophole in his system.”
~ Comedian Daniel Tosh
“Well, I want my soul… but I want a backrub… but I want my soul… but I want a backrub.”
~ majik having a moral debate over whether or not to sell her soul for a backrub. She eventually chose to sell her soul. ^_^
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e. everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
~ Good Omens, by: Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
“Jesus said: ‘The Kingdom of God is inside you. And all around you. Not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there. Lift a stone, and you will find me.’”
~ Frankie/Father Alameida, Stigmata
I beat my wings and
fly into the arms of God.
~ “Voices,” Macross Plus
“God is on our side because he hates the Yanks!”
“God is not on our side because he hates idiots also.”
~ Tuco and Blondie, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
“God has a sense of humor? Of course! That explains everything!”
~ Dogbert, Dilbert by: Scott Adams
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