My current roommate, and boy, is it a trip. ^_^
“Molly! You just ended the world!”
“…Seriously? But, it was just an apple!… And the Snake said it was okay.”
~ Molly and the Garden of Eden
“No one wants to read about muddy peasants.”
~ Molly on the subject of historical fiction
I can’t write poetry, I’ve decided. The girl next door to me literally writes better poems by cutting things out of magazines with an X-Acto Knife and dropping the little bits than I do by thinking for days…I think I deserve a little credit, however, for being perhaps the first human being to use the word “cthonian” in a poem (and it is a word, I did not make it up).
~ letters from Molly
“You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to saw a toothbrush in half.”
~ Molly on Megan’s gift
“Strong, like fuzzy kitten. Fierce, like tamed dog. Fast, like tortoise!”
“Smart, like coral reef!”
“Only you would think of that.”
~ Me and Molly
“Molly, are you sick?”
“No, I think my brain is liquefying and dripping out my nose.”
~ Me and Molly
“I know I’m in college because the thought ‘It’s only 2:15 in the morning, why am I so tired?’ just crossed my mind.”
~ Molly
“Bubble-raper!”
~ Molly
“I like penguins. Everything’s funnier with penguins!”
~ Molly on fanfic
“Excuse me while I rip my eyes out of my sockets.”
“That wouldn’t stop me. I would just read it to you and you would hear it. And you wouldn’t be able to see, so you couldn’t find me to stop me.”
“I could flail around…bleeding.”
~ Molly and Me
“Okay, look. If I’d had any balls to start with, they’d’ve been long since frozen off by now!”
~ Molly on cold weather
“I’m
sorry. I had a sock. I had to do something with it. So I was inspired
to violence.”
~ Molly after hitting me in the head with a sock
“I have lesbian hair.
I can’t help it.”
~ Molly
“Aya’s like… the black hole of personality. He sucks it out of other people.”
~ Molly on Weiss Kreuz
“Things going right is not entertaining. But things going wrong, now that’s entertaining.”
~ Molly.
“I’m alright…However, I think my pride is in danger of bleeding to death.”
~ Molly after falling out of bed
“I don’t want to destroy the world. All my stuff’s here.”
~ Molly after being asked what she would do if she were granted god-like powers
“Is it bad if I can’t tell the difference between the cheese and the Styrofoam?”
~ Molly upon eating college food
“You know, if you merged yourself with the god Anubis, you wouldn’t get cool powers over life and death. You’d just have to pull a bunch of people’s brains out their noses with a fork.”
~Molly on the Egyptian gods
“Everything looks like David Bowie if you stare at it long enough.”
~ Molly
“Okay, I officially don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.”
~ Molly
“If someone killed Sonnet, I would slaughter their entire culture, dammit!”
“After you went through her stuff.”
“Well…yeah. Of course.”
~ Molly and Kelly
“To me there is no seat!”
~ Molly (after studying Latin for four hours straight)
“It’s nice to have a roommate that you know you like, and you know that the only thing you have to do to get back that happy roommate dynamic is to occasionally beat them soundly with a shoe.”
~ Molly
“Yes, I am happily married with my fourth child, and pigs are flying in parade formation above our house.”
~ Molly
“I must not speak fast. I must not speak fast. I will trip all over myself and fall down a verbal staircase.”
~ Molly
“Love is like a kick in the teeth.”
“No, love is like a kick in the teeth when you were expecting a kick in the guts. Your stomach muscles are all clenched and ready and then BAM! It gets you right in the head.”
~ Molly and Kelly
“Thank God I decided to investigate with my fork instead of with my tongue.”
~ Molly
“I’m going to be Saruman! In purple penguin pajamas! And I’m going to look cool while doing it.”
~ Molly, after seeing Lord of the Rings for the second time
“Look at that sissy stringy shooting thing…”
“It’s a bow.”
“Right. That’s a bow…and that’s a dress.”
“Tunic!”
“Uh-huh. And I bet those aren’t tights you’re wearing, either.”
“Argh!”
~ Molly and me, having fun mocking Legolas (not that we don’t love him!)
“He found Jesus.”
“Where?”
“I think at an AA meeting.”
~ Molly and Kelly
“My parents spent the money they were saving for when I got married on a Jeep.”
~ Molly
“My last two single cousins are getting married…not to each other.”
~ Molly
“ARGH! Give back my toothpaste, you cursed duffle bag!!”
~
Molly after unpacking
or