NOTE: Okay, the London quotes are split into two sections: the things that can ONLY be said or heard in London, and then the things that were just generally said or heard in London. I've indicated the switch by the high-tech solution of changing the font alignment, and putting up headings. Woo! Go me. Enjoy. We did. ^_^
Things That Can Only Be Said/Heard In London
“Mind the gap.”
“It’s a ten minute walk!”
“I went to KFC. How’s that for the London experience?”
“If I die on the Tube no one will know…except the people beside me.”
“I was pissed! …But not drunk.”
“Find a pub, get a drink, and then wee—extensively. As much as possible.”
“We hate the French. We hate the French more than we hate anyone else. They beat us in a war back in 1066, and we’ve never forgiven them. We English have long memories. Bloody effeminate French.”
“I am not paying eighteen dollars to go to the movies.”
“What does ‘twat’ mean, anyway?”
“Guess.”
“Look at that! What the hell is that?!”
“The sun.”
“Excuse me, where’s the loo?”
“Snogging. I hate that word. What kind of a word is that, anyway? There’s nothing romantic about it. It’s not kissing, it’s two people snorting like pigs on a couch.”
“Would you like a fag?”
“Yes, please. I’d like two of them. And then I can watch.”
“Kelly, they’re not what you think…”
Megan: “Everything’s so…”
Me and Laura: “Gray?”
“Hello, Scottish person. Please ignore my nudity.”
“Look! It’s the magical W7! Bus of semi-happiness.”
“ ‘Crumpets?’ Those aren’t crumpets, those are English muffins—oh.”
April is a cynic.
April says running is for freaks.
April says the Tube is your friend.
April says why run when you can eat chips?
April stands on the right. Sits in the pub. Lies on the sofa.
Defy April.
May is keen, but crap.
May says race that milk float. Race that pensioner.
May hates hills. Loves benches.
May runs in the dark. Dribbles snot. Steps in dog poo.
May says on your mark. Get set. Catch the Tube.
Beat May.
June is psycho.
June wakes up at 6 A.M.
June says you’re quicker than the Central Line.
June says don’t eat chips Fatboy.
Jun races buses. Chases dogs. Eats bananas.
Enjoy June.
~ Run London adverts (a marathon that takes place on July 22nd)
I am a planet talker. It is you who is mad.
Things Said in London (but are not necessarily limited to the region)
More or less in chronological order
“Okay. If you panic, it won’t help.”
~ Jen
“My desire for a husband comes somewhere after my desire for a wave pool…I really want a wave pool, but a husband…He might help pay for the wave pool. I think I’ll marry the man who buys me a wave pool. No, wait, on second thought, I don’t really want a wave pool.”
~ majik
“Words amuse me.”
~ Alexandra
“I’m not weird, what are you talking about?”
“Take the knife out of your mouth and say that.”
~ Ryo and majik
“I’m not going to put Listerine in my shoe!”
~ Ryo
“That must be it! Romeo is a closeted homosexual!”
~ Shakespeare teacher (I love my Shakespeare teacher)
“I’m going on a killing spree. Wanna come?”
“No, I’ll be establishing my alibi elsewhere. Give me your coat and I’ll establish your alibi, too. ‘This is Ryo, my friend.’ ‘Sonnet…that’s Ryo’s coat on a baguette.’ ‘Shut up! It’s Ryo!’”
~ Ryo and me
“Romeo’s uke!”
~ One of us… I don’t remember
“Your final will be some great, sweeping…piece of crap.”
~ Shakespeare teacher
“My computer is telepathic, you fool!”
~ majik
“Screw the actors! Just as long as the lights are alright.”
~ heard backstage at the National Theatre
“You! Stop drooling and walk!”
~ me
“Walk normally. You wouldn’t look so suspicious if you just walked normally.”
~ me
“Wufei! Stop chasing the pigeons!”
“But I want to kick it.”
~ Ryo and me
“This is our new friend, Rubbie!”
~ me, talking about the “rubbish bins” as they call trash cans over there
“…right next to the murder hole!”
“I’m gonna walk next to Kelly where it’s safer.”
“Oh, you should talk Miss I-Have-A-Knife-In-My-Umbrella.”
~ me and Ryo
“We could go into a pub and say ‘Do you have any ice cream?’ ‘No, but we have Guinness.’ ‘Good enough! We’ll have Guinness and could you put some ice cream in it?’”
“No!”
~ me and Ryo
“Where are we going?”
“I don’t know, Laura is leading.”
“Then why is she walking behind me?”
~ me and majik
Me on the Tube at 9:24 am: “What class are we going to?”
“And Laura and Sonnet promptly die.”
~ Alexandra
“My pop is weird. It’s like a lazer show.”
~ Alexandra
“It’s just because me teeth are cooler than yours.”
“I want cool teeth.”
~ me and Ryo
“‘Natalie? Why is there a knife in the wall?’ ‘Oh, no reason.’”
~ Alexandra
“I like cars that take me places quickly to some place where I can get food in a reasonable amount of time.”
~ me, after waiting over an hour to be served
“Any plot that involves the Atlantic Ocean you have to worry about.”
~ Ryo
“I never get to have fun.”
“That’s because your sense of fun is damaging to most people.”
“I don’t see why that should matter.”
“Because I usually have to be ‘most people’!”
~ Ryo and me
“Thank God, or the monkeys would be killing themselves in a religious war.”
~ majik
“What are you talking about?”
“World War III, pay attention!”
~ me and majik
“How come everyone feels like mocking Death?”
~ Ryo
“He’d blow her head off and she’s suck the life out of him like some kind of pink vampire!”
~ majik on a Heero x Relena relationship
“Who are you people and why are you dancing in my head?”
~ me
“Wow. Two angsty Asian men sitting side by side in a restaurant…I have the sudden urge to watch Jet Li movies.”
~ me
“I once used a calendar for three years…”
“Would this explain your tendency to be really late for things?”
~ Ryo and majik
“Yes, that is the bottom of my shoe, and no matter how hard you tap on it, you won’t be able to communicate with the next village.”
~ me
“You’re so mean to me!”
“No I’m not! That was a funeral dirge.”
~ me and majik
“Okay, who’s going to interpret Megan this time?”
~ ?
“I did not give you that pencil so you could poke me with it!”
~ me
“I’m dying.”
“Don’t die.”
“No, this is a good place to die. We can just throw her in the river!”
~ majik, Ryo, Sarah
“…and I’m dying.”
“Oh, don’t die Kelly! We don’t have a river any more.”
~ majik, Sarah
“I don’t think Bart and Debbie would be very compatible…”
“Yeah, but could you imagine the frizzy hair on those kids?”
~ me and Megan
“Well, the woman we’re living with seems very nice—but very anxious to get out for some reason. I was like ‘Hm. Either there’s a ghost or the house is on fire.’”
~ majik about the B&B in Stratford-upon-Avon
“Yes, let’s scale the barbed wire fence to buy groceries.”
~ majik
“Well, my great come back is ‘Oh yeah? Well…you suck!’”
~ Jen
“‘Why is the set white?’ ‘It’s not white…it’s very light blue.’”
~ Megan explaining painting the set white
“David, I work in formal wear, and I know the difference between champagne and white and that is champagne.”
~ Alexandra and the set
“You realize our lives are an episode of Seinfeld.”
“I hate Seinfeld!…That explains a lot.”
~ majik and Ryo
“Yes, my typing skills get me secretarial jobs…and carpal tunnel.”
~ Natalie
“You said I’m a violent person. I’m going to hit you!”
~ majik
“It’s time to keep our internal dialogues internal.”
~ Alexandra
“No chipmunk sex, man, what’s your problem?”
~ Megan
“Our minds have strange roads that none of us drive down.”
~ Alexandra
“I’m having World War II flashbacks.”
“We weren’t in World War II.”
“Maybe that’s why it’s so dark.”
~ me and majik
“Ow. My wrist hurts. I’m going to stop banging it against the corner of the table, now.”
~ majik
“If not for one poorly placed llama, I could’ve been King of France.”
~ Ryo
“No, Sonnet and Laura’s marriage didn’t last. I think they could divorce on the grounds that it wasn’t consummated.”
“Damn. I knew we forgot something.”
~ Megan and me
“As I experience a brief moment of panic defined by the words ‘Where the hell—’ ‘My spoon!’ and ‘MICROWAVE!!’ ”
~ majik
“Being in beginning band was interesting. I learned to play a lot of instruments without actually touching any of them.”
~ Ryo
“Happiness is a bowl of steamed rice.”
“Maybe for you, Wufei.”
~ me and Ryo
“I don’t get ideas. I don’t even get wavepools.”
~ majik
^_^ “Sonnet! ^_^ If you don’t get this message and call me back I’ll RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND STICK IT ON A POLE OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM!! … ^_^ That’s all. Bye!” ^_^
~ my brother
“Laura’s got teeth!”
“Very good, Alexandra! And if you look right above her mouth, that’s her nose!”
~ Alexandra and Colleen
“Someday, that notebook will be bigger than your head.”
~ majik
“‘Are you from America?’ ‘No, I’m from a distant planet.’”
~ Alexandra
“America is a state of mind.”
~ Alexandra
“Words amuse me.”
~ Alexandra
“Just to let you know, the toilet paper is harsh and unforgiving.”
~ Nicole in Prague
“Will the man urinating in the corner please stop.”
~ announcement in the underground
“We all develop a sort of sixth sense. I mean, you’re in a bar and you see this guy and—he’s a groper. You don’t just sort of put your bum up where he can get at it (…unless, you know…you want that.)”
~ theatre teacher
“I have been chosen to go on a spiritual journey…but I have class tomorrow.”
~ majik
“You know, Kelly, it’s traitors like you always ruin all the fun.”
~ majik
“I wouldn’t touch the buses with a barge pole.”
~ Shakespearean teacher
“Sam?”
“Yes?”
“That’s really irritating.”
“Oh. Sorry. But it’s good fun, though!”
~ majik and Sam, our host-brother
“Can you hold this open for me? I need to stick my tongue in it.”
~ me
“Hey, I’ve been to Georgia. I know fear.”
~ majik
“I’m going to go under the table and come up between your legs.”
~ me
“rrrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAAH!”
~ me, lifting my bag of great weight and size
“Hey, my ears are perfect.”
~ me
“I’ve got a Gundam right outside…”
“That is bull! You walked here with us!”
~ Ryo and Colleen
“But I love using my big gun!”
“That’s fine, as long as you’re not shooting blanks.”
~ Alexandra and Megan
“I’ll walk with Natalie. She doesn’t desire me but she’ll stay with me.”
“A lot of marriages are like that.”
~ me and Natalie
“I’m sorry. Were you talking? I didn’t hear anything I wanted to hear.”
~ Colleen
“Get out of my pants! No! Don’t touch the underwear!”
~ Alexandra
“Hey, we were near Victor Hugo’s house.”
“Oh crap.”
~ Alexandra and Megan
“Kelly, your icky waxy stuff made my hands…icky and waxy!”
~ Alexandra
“People say I’m the lush, but it’s my roommate who has a Fuzzy Naval and chocolate cake for breakfast, and then goes to church the next day.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. That sounds like a good Catholic to me!”
~ Jen and Alexandra
“I get worried when she does things like this. I’m like, are you going to throttle me next?”
~ Kelly
“I feel like I’m being used as a pawn in some strange sexual game.”
“You are.”
~ me and majik
“Do you ever have a day…when you just feel like a mobile?”
~ Jen
“If you had kicked me in the knee I would have so kicked your ass…as soon as I could stand.”
~ Megan
“Please pay attention to the following safety presentation, even if you have flown with us often.”
“Only if you use firecrackers.”
~ Airplane safety announcement and me
“Look! It’s Sean Connery on a bike!”
“That’s a far cry from James Bond.”
~ Ryo and me watching the in-flight movie
Last quote of the trip:
“I’m warning you, the contents of The Louvre are about to fall out of my suitcase.”
“Thief.”
~ Alexandra and majik
or