Cat's Paw - Part 4 by Zooie
Standard disclaimers apply
Duo POV
“... so then Sister Mary Thomas made me put it back where I
found it. She always did have this thing against mice. I mean, what
was the big deal? I was lonely! I wanted a friend! Was one stupid
mouse too much to ask?” I pause and look to Heero for affirmation.
Naturally, it doesn’t come. He’s still in a coma.
Sleeping Beauty he is not. His mouth has fallen open and a thin line
of drool is making its way down his cheek. I’m slightly revolted,
but am more amused than anything else. I’m also very tempted
to procure him a bib from the nursery upstairs. Maybe one with a cute
little ducky on it. Ducks like water. Rubber ducky, you’re the
one. You make spittle, so much fun...
*Beeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeeep*
“You know, buddy,” I tell him in a loud whisper, “if
you don’t wake up soon, they’re gonna start to shit bricks.
You’ve been here for three days now. After four and they start
to get a wee bit antsy.”
He continues to breathe evenly, the heart monitor beeping at a steady
pace. I sigh, bored, and contemplate using his mouth for target practice.
If I wad up some scraps of paper from my puzzle books, I could get
a good game of oral basketball going... or maybe not. I can see the
headline now: COMA PATIENT CHOKES TO DEATH ON MAD LIBS. __(noun)__
STILL SEARCHING FOR ___(adjective)___ KILLER.
I’m getting really curious how he wound up here. I mean, obviously
he was in a car wreck, but how did it happen? Why are the nurses constantly
checking up on him? Are they afraid he’ll wake up and run away?
Why have I seen so many cops in the hallway since he arrived? What
was up with that odd, nocturnal room inspection? What was going on?
No one I ask will tell me and the source of all my frustration remains
annoyingly unconscious. I can’t wait for him to wake up so I
can pump him for information.
*Beeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeeep*
I sigh. “At least you’re a good listener. If it wasn’t
for you and Quatre I’d go insane. The nurses are just pathetic.
Five minutes here, ten minutes there. You can barely get a conversation
going! And all they want to talk about is bodily fluids and bowel
movements. That’s not exactly stimulating intellectual debate.”
*Beeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeep* *Beeeeeeep*
“You said it, Heero. ‘Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck’
about sums it up.”
*Beeeeeeep* *Beeeeeeep* *Beeeeeeep*
“Now, that was uncalled for! That was downright obscene! Say
it again.”
*Beeeep* *Beeeep* *Beeeep*
“Want to do some Mad Libs, Heero? With a vocabulary like that,
we’re bound to come up with some really good ones! How about
‘My First Day of School?’ Or maybe ‘a Trip to the
Zoo?’”
*Beeeep* *Beeeep* *Beeeep*
“Man, I am waaay too easy to entertain.”
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Is it just my imagination or are the beeps speeding up?
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
No, they’re definitely getting faster and shorter. Shit. I
fumble for my call box. I repeatedly hit the red button, the one with
the little silhouette of a woman on it.
“Nurse! Nuuuuurse!” I bellow as loudly as I can. “NUUUUURRRRRSSSSSE!”
“What is it, Duo?” A tall brunette stalks into the room,
her ponytail flopping down her broad back. “I swear, if this
is another plea for attention-”
“His beeping changed.” I cut her off, gesturing towards
Heero’s bed. “I thought you might like to know.”
She appears startled and quickly moves to Heero’s side. I watch
as she takes his vitals, an amazed expression appearing on her plain
face. She hustles back to the door and calls into the hall, “Page
Dr. Merino immediately!” She then returns to Heero, fluttering
anxiously around him like some sort of deranged insect.
“You might want to get a pitcher of water. He’s gonna
be thirsty when he wakes up,” I say helpfully. “Trust
me, I know.”
The nurse -Tania, her nametag says- shoots me an irritated look.
“Duo, mask.”
I mutter, but pull Sucky back over my mouth. I hate to admit it,
but he does help. Especially when you’ve just been shouting
loud enough to raise the dead. Stupid pneumonia, I grouse inwardly.
Stupid lungs.
“You can relax, you know,” I tell Tania around the mask.
“It’s not like he’s gonna just suddenly open his
eyes and scream, ‘I’m Awake!!!’ It‘s bound
to take a while.”
She closes her eyes, visibly straining for patience. I really don’t
mean to bother the staff, but sometimes I can’t help myself.
I know at times I drive them bonkers. Quatre has told me that my frustration,
boredom, and agitation are normal byproducts of an extended illness.
If that was true, you’d think the nurses would be used to dealing
with snotty children, but apparently they make an exception for me.
A few select nurses have quite obviously taken offense to my person.
Tania is among their ranks. I’m thinking of starting my own
fan club.
“Want to play Scrabble?” I offer politely. “I’m
in the middle of a game, but we can start a new one.” I play
a lot of Scrabble. Just call me Mr. Excitement.
“Board games are not in my job description,” she sniffs.
“No, but making your patients comfortable is,” Dr. Merino
says, choosing that ideal moment to walk into the room. Tania flushes
and I grin.
“Hi, Jim!” I wave at the friendly pediatrician. We go
way back. He was the one who first diagnosed me with leukemia, nearly
six years ago. He’s this giant teddy bear of a man, looking
strong, intimidating but extremely huggable all at once. I think this
is why he relates so well to children. He’s such an awesome
doctor. Nothing upsets him. Nothing. He’s just such a straightforward,
decent, friendly, down-to-earth person that if you suddenly started
spewing green vile and speaking in foreign tongues, he’d merely
sigh and check the Yellow Pages for the nearest exorcist.
“Hey, Duo! Kudos on wearing the mask!” He chuckles, leaning
over Heero’s bed.
“Yeah, well, I heard they were in this season,” I return.
“Nice tie, by the way. Where'd you manage to find one that looks
like a camel?”
“That, my friend, is a secret that will go with me to the grave.”
I watch as he scribbles illegibly on Heero’s chart.
“Meaning it was a present,” I challenge.
“Meaning I found it in the back of my closet and don’t
know where the heck it came from or how long it’s been there.”
He finishes his examination and turns to Nurse Tania. “I’d
say it’ll be about an hour before he awakens. Keep an eye on
his vitals and monitors. Let me know if he shows signs of consciousness
sooner. I’d stay myself, but I have a very sick little missy
down the hall who needs some attention. Page me as soon as he’s
awake. And,” he shoots me a glance, “you have more than
enough time for a game or two of Scrabble.” He hands Tania the
chart and starts towards the door. “Don’t underestimate
the kid. He’s a vicious player. Steals all the triple word squares.”
He exits into the hall, beginning to whistle a cheery show tune.
Tania and I eye one another across the room. “I won’t
tell him we didn’t play if you don’t,” I offer.
“Deal,” she says, pulling up a chair by the window. She
begins her vigil over the amazing Coma Boy and I return to my solitary
game.
B H J O Q X Z. My letters are awful. Swell.
~+~+~
It’s nearly an hour later when things start to get interesting.
Heero is definitely waking up. He’s starting to twitch a little
and is breathing much faster. His eyes are even fluttering a little.
But that isn’t what makes me take notice.
A police detective has entered the room.
I look up to see a tall, too-thin man in a nondescript leather jacket
and jeans walk in. He’s wearing sunglasses, even inside, and
he has the stupidest hairstyle I’ve ever seen on a man. You
know how Veronica Lake, that old movie star, used to have hair that
fell completely across one of her eyes? That’s what this guy
had, only his weird-o bangs are the longest part of his hair. They
flop directly over half his face and I wonder if he’s missing
an eye beneath the hair and glasses.
Maybe he was a model before he was a cop. That would explain the
anorexic appearance and the bizarre hair. Perhaps if I ask veeerrry
nicely, he’ll agree to be in the premiere issue of “the
Fashionable Intern.” I’ll put his spread opposite Quatre’s.
“Memorable Hospital Visits: 101.” Or “So You Lost
an Eye: Regain Depth Perception in 7 Easy Steps.”
Yeah, so my sense of humor borders on sick. Still, I keep myself
entertained.
“Sir,” Tania rises uncertainly from her chair. “You
can’t be in here, sir. These aren’t visiting hours.”
The man whips a badge out of his pocket and flashes it in front of
her eyes. “Detective Barton. I have a few questions for this
boy, here.” Barton comes to a stop at the foot of Heero’s
bed. “My sources said he was waking up. It appears they weren‘t
mistaken.”
“I’m afraid I can’t allow you to speak to a minor
unsupervised,” Tania begins, but Barton cuts her off. I’m
starting to like him. Anyone who jerks Tania around is a friend of
mine. Megalomaniac bitch. I lean back into my pillows, watching the
power struggle that is unfolding before my eyes. This is the best
diversion I’ve had in weeks. I sense that the answers to my
questions about Heero will soon be resolved, if I can only play my
cards correctly.
“This boy is a primary witness in a criminal investigation
we’re executing. My superiors would appreciate it if an officer
were with him as soon as he regains coherency. He might say something
relevant to our case. This is not open for discussion.” The
detective plants himself firmly in the chair Tania has just vacated.
“I’m afraid I have to consult with the doctors about
this,” Tania sputters. “I don’t think this is allowed.”
“Actually, it is,” I pipe up. I never can keep my mouth
shut. I pull Sucky down around my neck and inform them of Heero’s
rights -or lack thereof. “It’s completely legal. Just
ask Dr. Merino.” Barton’s attention snaps to me when I
speak. I grin at him and give a little wave. “Hi.” I guess
my presence has just registered on his cop radar. I wonder if I’ve
been in his bang-induced blind spot.
He turns to Tania. “I want him out of here.”
“Hey,” I protest. “I was here first! If anyone
should have to leave, it should be him!” Yeah, especially since
if I leave I won’t be able to eavesdrop on your investigation!
Barton stares at me blankly. “That would... complicate things.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere! This is my room, my bed,
and furthermore, it’s time for my nap!” I inform him,
folding my arms across my ribs. “So you can just take your tin
foil badge and your mirrored sunglasses and leave, mister!”
And then, at the height of my originality: “This isn’t
Burger King. You can’t have it your way! Special orders do upset
us!”
Aggressive much? Me? I might want answers, but I’m not going
to just lie down at this man’s feet and present my throat...
although I do have to admit that I’m about as intimidating as
a broken Popsicle stick. Sadly, the Popsicle stick would probably
be more dangerous, too. Be still, evil one, or I’ll lodge a
splinter in your knee cap! What am I going to do? Halt, evil one,
before I sprawl in your path and cause you to trip! Desist, evil one,
or I’ll sic Drippy the Catheter on you! Surrender, evil one,
lest I be forced to bombard you with a barrage of Scrabble tiles!
To his credit, Barton doesn’t laugh in my face. In fact, his
expression hardly changes at all as he turns to Tania. “Either
sedate him or remove him from this room. Refuse to do so and I’ll
charge you with the obstruction of justice and impeding an investigation.”
Real friendly guy. I wish Dr. Merino would hurry up and get here.
This is getting old real fast. I mean, who does he think he is, just
charging in here all do-what-I-say? It’s one thing when he bosses
Tania around. With me, it’s completely different! You can’t
just bust into my room, order me around, and kick me out! I refuse
to retreat, dammit! I have not yet begun to fight!
I’ve been watching too much History Channel.
“Look,” I say hostilely. “I’ll take a nice
little nap and then no one has to go anywhere, right? It’s almost
time for my meds, anyway and they always make me sleepy. I’ll
go to La La land and you can ask your little questions, okay?”
I neglect to mention the fact that, while the drugs do make me woozy,
I can fight to stay awake pretty successfully when I want to. That’s
on a need to know basis and if he wasn’t willing to sharing
info, I wasn’t about to, either.
Barton looks toward Tania. She offers, “He does usually fall
asleep shortly afterwards.”
He nods. “If that’s okay with his doctors, that sounds
satisfactory to me.”
Dr. Merino chooses that moment to arrive. “Ah, Detective Barton.
You return and so promptly! I‘m sorry I didn‘t warn you
of his coming, Tania. That was an oversight on my part.”
The two men shake hands and Tania makes a hasty exit.
“I’ve allowed the boy to stay if he’s medicated,”
Barton informs Dr. Merino. “Is that agreeable?”
The good doctor looks surprised. “It might be best if we simply
moved him for a time...”
“Not happening!” I interrupt. “I’m too tired,
too pissy, and hurting too damn much to go sit in the common room
for hours on end. I just want to stay here, in my nice quiet room
with my nice soft bed and my nice happy clown poster and sleep.”
Dr. Merino eyes me warily. “Duo, mask,” he chides.
“Is there a reason why I can’t have one of those tubey
things like a normal person?” I whine before I yank Sucky into
place.
“You get too many nosebleeds,” my doctor says. He turns
to Barton. “I’m sorry. He only gets like this when he’s
tired and in pain. Moving him would not be advisable. Would you mind
if he did remain here? His medication should be arriving shortly...”
Thanks, Jim. Talk about me like I’m not here. I don’t
mind. Not at all. I sink back into my pillows -which are rapidly becoming
flat- and glower at the world in general. Just mark me down as inanimate.
Sure. I’m not here. I don’t exist. I don’t need
anything. Nope. Not me. I don’t want a pillow-fluff or to be
tucked in or hugged or something. I’ll just lay here, dying,
while you all carry on around me. Sounds good to me. I’ll just
lay here with my tangled blankets and my sweaty sheets and die. I’ll
rot here next to my mysterious roommate whom no one will tell me anything
about. I’ll smell real great, too. Maybe even take out a job
as an air freshener in the afterlife. Dual Freshening Action.
The detective waves a hand dismissively. “No, no. We’d
already reached the same compromise. It’s fine.”
“Well, then,” the doctor smiles. “Now we just have
to wait for our boys here to trade states of awareness.” They
exchange looks. Barton moves back to his chair and Dr. Merino moves
towards my bed. He starts putting away my game of Scrabble.
“I wasn’t done with that,” I snap. He ignores me
and packs everything away in the box, placing it with the rest of
my crap. I make sure to keep the frown on my face the whole time.
He comes to stand over me and sighs. “Are you comfortable down
there? Your pillows are looking a little limp.”
“What do you care?” I mutter, but I say it so he can’t
hear. That’s one thing Sucky’s good for. He makes a great
censor for sarcastic comments. Better than Heero’s profanity
preventative heart monitor.
Dr. Merino sighs again and tries to pull my blankets up from where
they’re rumpled around my waist. I keep my arms cross against
my ribs, preventing the blankets from being moved. He tugs gently
on my wrist, trying to uncross them, but I snap at him.
“Don’t pull on my arm! I value it!”
Jim lets go of my wrist and instead holds his hand against my forehead.
He frowns and takes my vitals, recording them on my chart. I do my
best to keep sulking. Around that time Tania shows back up with a
new IV bag and a cup of pills. I chug the pills while she switches
the bags. Within minutes the world is getting hazy...
~+~+~
I’m doing the best I can to stay awake, but it’s getting
increasingly harder. It takes all my concentration just to catch a
few snippets of conversation. I may have overestimated my magical
medication resistant powers.
“...where?”
“...okay, son. Calm....at the Winner Medical... in a coma...
days now....”
“... I okay?”
“...leg and arm. Your ribs...”
“... my father?!”
“...bad news...father...killed...only you...”
“Oh, God.”
“... be okay...know it’s hard... we‘ll help...”
“Who’s he?”
“... Barton. He... talk to you... it‘s okay?”
“...don’t wanna.”
“....don’t have to... might be best.... over with...”
“....okay.”
“...ahead, Barton.”
“... in the car with you?”
“Just... and me.”
“... no one else was ...?”
“No.”
“...looking for at the time?”
“... didn’t tell me...”
“...do you remember...”
“...all blurry... can’t...”
“How did it... what made you...”
“...something... swerved... can’t...”
“... steering malfunction? How did...”
“...don’t know...”
“... were you going? ... come from?”
“...can’t... don’t know...”
“...enough for now... later...”
“...but I’m not...”
“... said enough!... bad shape.... shock...”
My concentration frays and I can hear no more.
*******
TBC
*******
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