Subjects of My Sanity - Part 25 by
Terrasa
Standard disclaimers apply
~Subject: Wufei~
The bus moved slowly down the street, stopping every so often to
pick up people, or let them off at their destination. Most of the
people riding today seemed to be elderly, or very strange young people.
I guess I could have been considered to be one of those ‘strange’
people, seeing as no one wanted to even come close to the back of
the city bus where I sat, watching them all as they chatted amongst
themselves.
It was almost noon. I was running out of time.
I had taken Duo’s advice and gotten a little more rest before
leaving. Though, that decision probably was not a wise one. I really
needed the rest, but if I were to miss my pickup… I might not
get another chance at this for a couple days… weeks… who
knows? And one thing I did not want to do anymore was wait. No, waiting
only proved to be bad in my experience. I had waited to leave town,
I had been found. Nothing good came of it, so I was going to take
action now. Whether it ruined me or not, I was not going to fail anymore.
I would go through with this… messed up plan in my head, for
it was the only thing that I could think of to do.
I already decided that I would not run anymore, and could find no
other solution than what I was about to do. The problem would be eliminated
once and for all. Even if I died in the process of carrying out my
plan. ’Cause I would rather it be me dying… than have
someone go through the same hell that I had to…
Nothing would stop me now. Even though I wished something would…
I wished that Duo’s words would have stopped me…
This had to be done. My mind reminded me over and over again. And
no one was going to do it but me.
Hadn’t I deserved at least that much?
Being tied to a bed for a week, beaten until I could no longer remember
my name through all the pain… humiliation.
I felt it, I saw myself from far away… saw my situation from
a new perspective. Maybe that was my awakening. It opened my eyes.
Maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe I was sitting on this bus
right now because of some higher ups cruel plan.
The doors closed loudly and the bus lurched forward, causing me to
topple forward a little. I hadn’t been holding on. What was
wrong with me? Weak… yeah… I was in pretty bad shape.
I couldn’t remember much of how I got this way. I think shock
took over most of my mind during the time I was at my… former
home.
The hospital visit had been interesting. Waking up to people hovering
over me. Opening my clouded eyes to the understanding that I had been
saved from that place.
Hah. That thought, that moment of happiness was shot away when I
saw the man at the end of the hall. Saw the leering gaze that rested
upon me. I didn’t know him… or maybe I had… but
I knew that look. I knew his kind. He was waiting for me. Waiting
until I was released or sent out to an orphanage somewhere. That was
when he would probably make his move.
There was no escape for me… except…
I left then. Right after the people stopped crowding me, the doctor
and nurses went away to check on some other sickly inmate. It was
almost surreal, looking back and seeing myself walk through the halls,
careful of being seen. I do not know how I made it, how I was able
to get so far in my condition. But when I did make it out, I collapsed,
behind one of the cities rat infested dumpsters.
I’d been so tired then. So exhausted that I could barely move.
But I did move, and I did recall bumping into a street dealer, then
being introduced to his friend… then went onto Duo’s…
sometime later.
If asked, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you the day it
is… was. Things like that didn’t matter to me. Not when
my time is up.
I raised my hand, pulling on the little cord that signaled the bus
driver to stop. He rounded the little indent of the sidewalk and slowed
the giant metal vehicle to a halt.
I bet people were looking at me strangely as I limped my way across
the isle. I couldn’t really be to sure though, not with my gaze
directed downward, watching my mismatched boots as they scuffed the
ground.
The sun was up, hot, warm. I would have raised my face to soak it
in, but knew I was short on time. Didn’t have the time to do
something so stupid. So I hurried as fast as I could, blocking out
the sting in my ankle. That was odd, I hadn’t thought I was
injured down there before. Wasn’t it my other leg that was hurt?
Left, turn right… go straight…
I made my way through the familiar back alley’s, hoping, praying
that I would make it in time.
“Psst. Hey kid!” I stopped, frozen where I stood. The
voice sounded familiar… but I wasn’t in the meeting place…
I was still a couple blocks off.
“Jeez, and I wa’ just ‘bout ta leave.” A
scrawny, dirty looking boy jumped off the dumpster beside me, head
looking left and right in checking the surroundings before skipping
over to me. “Ya still sure’s ya wanna do this?”
I nodded.
Obviously he didn’t like my answer, because he frowned. “You
didn’t get this from me.” His accent dropped, whether
unconsciously or not I could not tell. I knew the drill, but I guess
he hadn’t yet gotten around to trusting me, some strange kid
who looked like hell. Yeah, I wouldn’t trust myself either.
“Should be alright anyway… jacked it from the shop down
on fifth.” He said, rummaging through his obviously stolen bag.
It looked too new for someone with dirty clothes and greasy hair to
be carrying around.
There was no fifth street. He knew that, so did I. He must have been
really wary of me. Probably thought I was going to turn him in or
something. Like I could possibly be hiding a wire in my skimpy clothes.
I took the package he held out to me and split before he could change
his mind. Yeah, he probably shouldn’t of trusted someone he
just met so soon. I’d give him a year before he was killed for
acting so stupid.
There was still a long way to go, but I didn’t have enough
money to ride the cheap bus. I’d only had so much from selling
a crappy hospital gown and some meds I picked up before escaping.
Most of it went to my new possession, the one I was planning on putting
full use out of tonight… if I was lucky.
It was a ways after noon by the time I made it to my second destination.
The one that could decide my fate, if I were to succeed or fail. I
stood outside the gate, memories of my time there coming only for
a second before being pushed away.
He’d be here. Then I could get some answers.
In the past, I had been called to come here numerous times, usually
having to skip school because of the time of day. So there was a fairly
good chance that ‘he’ was still here at this hour. His
lunch time. Probably eating in his office like so many days before.
I pushed the gate open a little, enough to get myself through, before
heading on towards the giant house of the Winner’s.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
~Subject: Quatre~
“Master Quatre… you might want to consider going out
for a walk. It’s such a nice day and… I’m sure the
fresh air will make you feel better.”
One of my in home nurses stared at me from the doorway of my room,
looking a little on the nervous side. She just wanted to get me away
from my Final Fantasy game. Iria had strongly recommended that I not
do anything with the TV. Saying it would give me a headache and I
would be sick all over again. So, the nurse had good reason to be
nervous. Her job could have been on stake. Ok, that may have been
going a little too far… Iria wasn’t going to fire her
because of my doings… but ‘she’ didn’t know
that.
I was completely bored, even with the video game sitting in front
of me. But what else was I supposed to do here, locked in my room?
Stare at the ceiling all day?
Sighing, I hit the magic shut down button, much to the nervous woman’s
relief. A walk actually did sound good. I probably wasn’t even
supposed to do that much… but… I was so bored!
It was definitely schools influence. Since going there and meeting
the people I now considered to be good friends, no day had gone by
without some sort of excitement… or, in other people‘s
views, trouble.
The bedroom door closed loudly behind me as I made my way towards
the back of the house, going slow so as not to overexert myself. It
felt good, but I really did not want to get scolded by Iria for not
paying attention to my health and collapsing from walking too quickly,
or any other stupid easy thing that made me feel like I had run a
marathon! That would only cause other people to get yelled at as well
as me and… ah! I needed to stop worrying myself sick…
again.
It was only twenty feet from the door when the dizziness started
to come. That was… strange. My head wasn’t hurting…
was it? Maybe I was worse off than I thought I was.
Damn
‘Now’ my head was starting to hurt again. Not quite the
same as before… but…
How strange….
My heart suddenly started pounding in my chest, beating rapidly from
the strange… strange…
Anger…
What…?
Fear…
Hate… hate him…
Who… who is it…
Pain…
Why?
Confusion?
No… not confusion… that was me. I was the one confused.
But… I wasn’t… angry? Was I? Was I in pain?
Unconsciously, my feet started moving again, walking me in a direction,
moving my body blindly down the dim hall. Following some instinct
hidden away until now, I made my way towards the…
What were they?
I could hear voices… no… they were not voices…
Thought?
No… they were stronger… they were so… painful…
“What do you think you are going to accomplish?”
My father’s voice.
“What good is this going to do, boy?!”
My feet stopped in front of a familiar oak door. My fathers office.
I hesitated, remembering that I was still in my pajamas, the dumb
plaid outfit Iria had bought me for wearing in the hospital. Would
he yell at me for roaming the house like this? Would he yell at me
for being out of bed? For entering his office while in the middle
of an argument?
As easily as my mind supplied those questions, it pushed them away.
“I won’t ask you again.”
My heart nearly stopped, recognizing that voice, even if it had been
so long since I had heard it. The door was so close now, and I moved
to open it, against my will, wincing as their voices grew louder in
the argument.
My head hurt. But not from a plain headache anymore. The static in
the room was what was causing it to throb. The tension… the
feelings coming out.
Out… out… into me…
What was I doing?
I would get in trouble for going in there…
But I wouldn’t stop…
I needed to stop those feelings… needed to help…
I couldn’t stop.
My head throbbed even more as I got closer, walked through the parted
door. The occupants never even looked up at me, never saw my hunched
over form, body sweating from overexertion. They were too absorbed
in their yelling to even hear my panting breaths, to witness as I
fell to my knees, mouth opening to speak, trying to stop them…
to stop the pain coming from them.
My voice failed me. Maybe it was because I was having problems breathing…
I don’t know why. It should have been simple.
In… out… inhale… exhale…
“I’m not giving you a choice.”
“You can’t just waltz in here and-”
“I said be quiet. You are in no position to threaten me.”
That was when I saw it. Right after that sentence. It was like a
hint from his words, pointing my eyes in the direction of the black
object at his side, Wufei’s side. The gun. Now raised slightly,
pointed half heartily towards my father.
How… pretty…
I felt nothing. Well, almost nothing. But… there was no sort
of fear that my father would die. As if I knew he wouldn’t.
All I wanted to think about then… try to think about…
were the emotions I was picking up off of Wufei.
Impossible… Impossible…
I wanted nothing more than for them to stop… I needed them
to stop… it hurt… my head hurt…
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Quatre! What are you doing?!”
Looking up, I saw through my hazy vision my father’s normally
stern face. He was looking at me in almost horror now. Not so much
that I had been out of bed, not out of worry for my health was he
yelling at me like that. No, he was… embarrassed, almost frightened
that I was witnessing this scene. That I had seen him like he was
moments ago.
I shouldn’t have know that.
Shouldn’t… shouldn’t…
I shouldn’t have been able to feel the fear rising inside of
him as he watched me panting on the floor of his office.
Why…
Why…
“Quatre…” Wufei was looking at me. He didn’t
seem all that shocked to see me. His black eyes looked almost dead…
no emotion showing on his face. But inside… inside there was
so much more. I do not know why he had come here… I was too
confused to figure it out at the time. But I do know that the impression
I got from him, as he stared at me blankly, was one of someone who…
Time is up.
He thought he was going to die.
“Wufei…” I chocked on my own attempted words. But
I was glad that I managed to get at least that out, for something
glinted in his eyes finally. He showed some expression… some
of what was going on inside of me.
No… not inside of me… inside of him.
Him… not me… not me…
Some sorrow… sadness…
“Why are… why…” The words wouldn’t
continue on past that. Maybe it was because my train of thought had
completely been lost. I wouldn’t have been able to figure out
just what I was trying to say then even if given a couple minutes
of time.
I saw distress.
Or maybe I hadn’t seen that… maybe that was what I was
feeling… myself…
No… him… not me…
These strange feelings were going to drive me crazy.
“Quatre, get out of here.” My father only glanced in
my direction for a brief moment before returning his gaze to the unwelcome
threat. This time he showed no outer emotions. He was all business
once more, prepared to deal with this problem holding a gun on him.
Well, the gun didn’t stay on him long, and I realized as it
came in my direction that my father should have probably just stayed
quiet.
Wufei had the gun aimed at my head now, as if to kill. As if to shoot
me. He wouldn’t though. I knew he would never pull the trigger
on me, yet my father didn’t know that.
“Where is he?”
It was almost strange hearing Wufei’s voice after so long.
It was cracked slightly, probably from dehydration. Now that I thought
of it, Wufei didn’t look all that good. His back seemed a little
too slouched and the way he only had one hand raised, other limped
at his side weakly, told me he must have been exhausting himself.
Why was I worrying about him when he had a gun pointed at me? Some
things are just too strange to even want to think about.
Hmm… at least I was starting to think straight again. Well…
not completely straight…
My father looked almost panicked once again and his eyes widened
at this display in front of him. I was shocked… no… more
than that when I saw the desperate glance he gave me. Was he afraid
I was going to die?
For some reason, now that I wanted them to come… those strange
feelings… answers… they wouldn’t come.
I could not feel anything… any emotions coming off of my father.
They had disappeared.
How… strange.
You might be wondering why I was analyzing my situation in such a
careless way right then. But I seriously felt… almost giddy
after the headache had disappeared. It was like… a drug…
those feelings were. One that was blocking out my own pain…
my own troubles, and bringing forth new ones for me to put under my
mental microscope.
I’d scold myself later for acting so idiotic at the time. Right
then all I wanted to know was why Wufei was here in the first place.
I still couldn’t figure that one out. Whenever I tried to get
the thought to stick so I could solve it… it would vanish, only
to be replaced by something else. Some other odd observation. Like
where were my fathers shoes? Or when did that plant get put in?
“You’re not going to get anywhere with this!” My
father hissed, drawing my attention away from the peculiar stain on
the carpet as he turned his stare to Wufei once more.
Wufei only held the gun up higher, not saying anything, just waiting
almost as if patiently for my fathers answer to his initial question.
In truth, I think he was just too exhausted to argue any more. He
was doing a pretty good job of hiding it from my father though. The
man didn’t even have a clue.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, kneeling
on the floor with a gun pointed at me, my father admitted defeat and
gave Wufei what he wanted. An address. One that sounded so familiar.
I couldn’t remember why I had heard of that place before…
because like I said… I was still a little lost in my mind, watching
the situation from some place below it. Almost finding it amusing…
when it was so not.
Wufei was gone before I realized it, and my father was on the phone
faster than the door shut. I was really surprised when I heard him
call for someone to take me back to my room ‘before’ he
called security. He seemed… worried. And that really bugged
me. He wasn’t supposed to care about me… but… I
guess it wasn’t really me he was caring for… it was his
blood.
His blood… his son… his future… not mine…
Sometime during all of this my mind got back on track. The storm
of emotions had gone down, almost disappeared and I was able to finally
make out everything around me clearer than before. Someone came in
to take me away, lifting me gently up off of the floor where I had
been kneeling. I remembered hearing my father talking on the phone
to someone… warning someone that Wufei was on his way.
To who? To where?
He laughed… a shaky one that seemed forced. I think he was
just trying to cover up his unease… his anger… his fear.
And what did he have to fear? He was acting like Wufei would be able
to ruin him. Could he? Was he heading in that direction now?
Direction…
direction…
As I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind finally granted
me my memory back. The particular one telling me just why I had been
so familiar with that address. And my heart almost stopped when my
mind supplied me with the numerous conclusions to what might happen
at that particular place.
Wufei… gun… prostitutes… thugs… Trowa…
boss’s… death… door lady… Duo… police…
Flashes of memories were filling my head. Causing a headache so bad
that I wanted to scream. I didn’t though… instead I got
up from my bed, ignoring the nurse beside me, ignoring the dizziness
that screamed at me, telling me I was sure to pass out soon. I walked…
or hobbled down the busy hallway, making excuses to the people…
demanding that I use the phone.
I needed to call someone… needed help…
Who… ?
Duo’s name was the first thing I thought of. Duo would figure
out what to do.
But where was he?
School, my mind supplied me with that answer. I should call the school.
Hopefully, if I played my card right, since I was the Winner heir,
and father donated money… maybe I would get lucky enough to
get Duo on the other line.
I had to at least try.
I prepared myself for the long wait as I picked up the phone, body
leaning heavily against the sofa next to the stand. Somehow…
I needed to convince Duo that Wufei was going to kill someone without
having him think I was crazy.
That wasn’t going to be easy. I could barely convince ‘myself’
that I wasn’t insane!
*******
TBC
*******
On to Part 26 (in progress)
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