Orphan Stage Part 7- Stage My Fate by Terrasa
Standard disclaimers apply

Duo POV

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Some things just should have never been said. These are the things you will always regret, telling yourself that it could have been better… it could have been different. I just had to open my big mouth once again and ruin a perfectly good situation. I had somehow, with one little sentence, caused Heero to be ’really’ pissed off at me. Not intentionally, no, but it still happened.

As I sat staring outside from my first hour Art class, all I could think about was Heero. I hadn’t seen him when I came to school, yet he never left my mind. As I stared out at the rain falling down outside, I thought of what had happened between us yesterday. Heero… had been so nice, odd as it was. But, why had he flipped out so… just because….

Gah… I guess I could compare our relationship to the weather outside. One day its all sunny and bright and then WHAM, the rain pours down out of nowhere making you think, ‘Hmm, how strange.’ Ok… so maybe I’m not the best at comparing things. All I know is that I hit something hard inside of Heero, something that made him freak out and start yelling.

He hated himself… He cut himself… He showed me all of that yesterday, leaving me shocked and somehow… scared. I had never even thought Heero the type to hurt himself like that. Why though? He said it was because he was weak… Ugh… I’m so confused, I don’t think I will ever understand what is hidden under that mask of his. And I don’t think he will ever show me all of what he’s hidden, but that wont stop me from trying.

I could feel Trowa’s eyes on me, he had been looking at me worriedly since I walked into the class. I don’t blame him, I would be worrying also if suddenly a talkative person stopped his talking. Yeah, I hadn’t even said ‘hi’ to him. Kinda mean of me, but like I said before, all I could think about was Heero.

I wanted things to go back to how they were, but would he ignore me today? Would he look at me with cold eyes that once sent chills down my spine? Yes, I once again am thinking like a wimp. Heero had told me yesterday that I was strong, but I don’t think I will fully believe him unless I believe myself first.

I’ve never really thought about emotions as being a strong point in someone. Well, only the well known ones, such as bravery, courage… but what about me? He stood there, telling me that I was strong for acting like myself. I was strong for showing people my emotions… for being happy? Was that true?

The bell rang to dismiss class, I could see Trowa out of the corner of my eye, making his way over to me. I didn’t really want to talk to him right now. The only person I did want to talk to was Heero… and he was wouldn’t be talking to me for a long time I feared.

Shit, shit, shit.

“Duo?” Trowa was right next to me now, as I walked towards our next class. He could have been just wanting to walk next to me… maybe he wouldn’t ask why I’ve been acting so weird. Gah, whom I kidding, if I mope around all day then everyone’s going to be asking me.

I put on a big smile before turning to Trowa, “Hey, what’s up Tro?”

His eyes widened slightly, and when I say slightly I mean very, very slightly. “Hmmm…” It seemed like he was studying me as we made our way into the next class. “You seemed a little out of it today.”

“Aa.” Was the only reply I gave him as I sat down next to Relena. The math teacher came in looking grumpy and yelling something about going to the copy room. So, the class was left alone to socialize with each other and see who could make the most noise! Heh… aren’t I ‘so’ positive about these things. I just hoped that Trowa and Wufei wouldn’t come over to talk… since they were sitting only a desk away.

I turned to Relena quickly as I saw Wufei look in my direction. It seemed that Trowa was discussing something with him… something as in ‘me’.

“Relena! How is the Prom stuff coming along?” She looked at me, a little surprised that I was actually interested in something like that. I don’t blame her… I definitely didn’t look like I was interested, but I really did want her to win so that Hilde would be off my back.

“Duo.” She said, like she was going to greet me before talking… how weird. “The Prom preparations are fine, and I am running for Prom Queen if you didn’t already know.” There was no doubt in my mind that she was a rich girl. By the way she talked, she’d most definitely follow in her families political footsteps.

“Aa… so I here, I was wondering if you needed any help… with your flyers or the stuff… that one does when… running for Prom Queen.” I really knew little about all this stuff. Maybe it would take my mind off my problems, being busy always seems to do that. Though… I don’t really know what kind of ‘busy’ I was dealing with here.

“Really.” She looked at me suspiciously for awhile before answering with, “But, I thought you were friends with Hilde… she’s also running for Prom Queen.”

Hmmm… so the princess actually pays attention to people other than herself… amazing. Now, I didn’t really want to tell Relena about our little bet, she might get mad that me and Hilde were playing around with the whole thing. So I’d have to bend the truth a little. “Ah… well you know, Hilde’s not really prom queen material. I don’t know ’what’ she was thinking when she agreed to run.” I said in a really staid voice. Inside, I was laughing at how serious Relena was taking me.

“I completely agree!” She said while giving me a brilliant, most likely practiced, smile. “Well, I would be thrilled to have you helping me! I’m having a meeting tomorrow morning with some of the people on my team. Come then, and we’ll talk.”

“Team?” I looked at her confused. Did she mean she had other people helping her?

“Oh, yes… I have about oh I don’t know, fifteen people working on my Campaign…”

“Fifteen? Campaign?” My eyes were pretty wide at this. I knew it wasn’t normal for… for… fifteen? Gah! What the hell did she need me for then? And what was she talking about, campaign? Sigh… I really knew ‘nothing’ about this stuff.

“Is something wrong?” She flipped her hair behind her and batted her lashes at me. I think I would have puked, but I’ve embarrassed myself too many times during school as it was.

“No… I’ll… try and be there.” I actually was regretting asking her this. There was no way Hilde was going to win with Relena’s pep squad helping her. I grumbled inside and Relena turned away to talk to someone else. I felt a little bad for Hilde… her having no chance to win and all.

I slumped back into my seat as the teacher made his way through the door. I was about to zone out the lesson and the world, when I noticed that Wufei was glaring at me.

Huh? What’d I do now?

He turned quickly away with a huff and I was left feeling confused and… damn! Another person is pissed at me. This is not my day!

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Lunch came, and I was happy to note that Quatre was off sitting somewhere else, which meant I could actually eat. Heero wasn’t at the table which hurt a little… where was he? Was he avoiding me… maybe he couldn’t face me after the outburst yesterday. But… god, I really wanted to see him.

As I sat down with my food, I noticed that Wufei was glaring at me from his spot across the table. “What?” I asked, looking at him with big confused eyes.

He crossed his arms and glared some more before saying, “Your helping Relena, are you not?”

Eh? He heard me… shit, no wonder he was staring at me during class.

“What?!” Hilde’s loud voice right next to me sent a buzz through my head. “Duo! I cant believe you! That is so low!” She yelled.

“Wha?” I rubbed my temple trying to get the buzzing to stop before saying, “Why are you flipping out? You’re the one who made the bet! And there is no way I’m being your slave!”

Her face seemed to twist slightly in pout. “But… but… you didn’t have to go so far as to help… ‘Her’.”

Wufei had lost his angry look at the exchange between me and Hilde. I guess she hadn’t told anyone about our little ‘bet’ yet. Just like her to forget something important. I bet she wouldn’t even remember that she was running if Wufei didn’t complain about it so much.

“You… made a bet?” Wufei asked, looking at me in question.

“Yeah, well… its more like ‘Hilde’ made a bet and I got dragged into it.” I said loudly so Hilde, who was mumbling some curses under her breath could hear me.

“Me?” She yelled, looking at me in astonishment. “Your blaming me for this? You could have refused! And you’re the one who said that I‘d have to…” She held up a fist and a look of determination crossed her face. “I am NOT going to wear pink for a whole week!”

I could hear Trowa’s little chocked up laugh from across the table, and Wufei was now looking amusedly at Hilde. “If you didn’t want to bet in the first place, then why don’t you call it off?” He suggested.

“No way.” Hilde said along with me, causing us to both glare at each other.

“I’m not going to be your slave.” I growled.

“Yes you are.”

“No… your going to wear pink.”

“Slave, Slave!”

We went on like that until Wufei scolded at us for acting like children. I felt a little better after arguing with Hilde, I was flared up and ready to beat her! I guess having something else on my mind pushed the other thoughts away for awhile. Not that they stayed that way for long.

As I finished my lunch, something from across the room caught my attention. It was Heero’s back, exiting the lunch room. Was he in here the whole time? Watching me… and I didn’t even see him!

Hopping up from my seat, I yelled a hasty goodbye before sprinting towards where Heero had left. Cold air hit me as I stepped out into the rainy weather. I was still under the shelter where the rain wouldn’t come, but the icy wind sent goose bumps down my arms. Where did he go?

It took me a while to find him, but I finally spotted him standing by the gate of the school, completely under the downpour. I slowly made my way to him, hoping that he wouldn’t run or something if he saw me. He didn’t. As I stood beside him, he just glanced at me before resuming his normal position. I think he was watching something, something across the street, but I was too cold to really pay attention.

“H-Heero. o… its c-cold, why you standing out h-ere?” I asked while rubbing my arms trying to get warmly friction. My hair was now completely soaked, as well as my clothes. Shit… that was going to take forever to dry.

He just grunted while tilting his head up towards the sky. He looked really beautiful in that position, like some picture that’s suppose to be in a museum. Water running down his face, arms lightly pressed against his sides. I felt that if I were to touch him, it would shatter, like glass and he would be gone.

“Heero…?” My fingers lightly brushed against his hand in order to get his attention. As my skin pressed against his, my eyes went wide at the iciness of his once warm hand. “Heero! Your freezing! Come on, come back inside.” I pleaded, while tugging at his numb hand.

“I don’t want to go back in there.” His voice was low, like a whisper, but I was able to hear it. He sounded so sad, and my heart broke as he looked at me with those eyes, lost and afraid.

Entwining my fingers in his, I pulled him back inside the gate, heading towards the athletics building. He didn’t resist at all and he was acting… strange. We came to the door outside the changing room and I didn’t even bother to think that anyone might be in there. My mind was completely filled with worry for the silent boy being dragged behind me.

The locker room was cold, making me curse the stupid people who never put heaters in. Dragging Heero to a nearby bench, I made him sit while I got out our gym clothes. They wouldn’t get us warm, but at least they were dry. Heero looked at me weird as I opened his locker without asking the combination. I just smirked slightly and pulled out a pair on his shorts. My locker was right next to his and I just happened to see him use the combination once. Ok, so I had purposely watched him a couple times to get his combo, so sue me.

“What the hell were you standing in the rain for? Were you trying to get yourself sick?!” My voice was loud from anger as I threw him his clothes. He caught it but made no move to put it on until I glared at him in warning. I could see him shivering slightly as he pealed the wet clothes from his skin, giving me a clear view of his scars.

I know I shouldn’t have looked, but I couldn’t help tracing my eyes down his body memorizing all the marks he had there. It wasn’t too many, just a slash on his stomach, a couple on his arms, the one above his knee and the tiny slash above his eyebrow. It made me wonder how many had faded away over time, if any.

Heero caught me staring at him and he turned his head down and to the side, like he was ashamed to have me see them. His mouth opened slightly, as if he was trying to say something, but couldn’t.

“Do you…” My soft voice brought his head back up to look at me. “Do you… still…”

“No, I haven’t for a year.” He mumbled in reply.

I sighed, slightly relieved that he didn’t hurt himself anymore… but did that mean he had stopped hating himself? I wanted to ask, but… I really did not want him to get mad at me anymore, I wanted to go back to how things used to be… us as friends.

Actually… now that I think about it… Heero seemed to still trust me enough… even now he was answering my questions with honesty. Maybe he wasn’t mad… like I had thought. He didn’t really look all that angry, more like… sad, depressed and confused.

“Heero…” I walked over to sit by him on the bench, my voice a little shaky and eyes downcast, afraid to look at him. “I wanted… to apologize…”

“No.” He cut me off, standing quickly to his feet. My heart jumped slightly as he turned his cold gaze to me. Did he not want to accept my apology? Was he going to… to…

“You didn’t do anything wrong. ‘I’ should be apologizing.” He said quickly after seeing the distress come across my face. I felt a little relieved but it was quickly overruled by the amazement I felt when realizing that Heero was apologizing… he wasn’t mad at me!

I could feel my mouth rising into the first real smile that I had showed all day. “We are two messed up teenagers, huh?” I smirked up at him from my spot on the bench.

Heero snorted and replied with, “Yeah, just think of what will happen when we become adults.”

I laughed at that, feeling a little warmth spread through me. “Well… legally I am already an adult.” My mouth twisted into an evil grin as I thought of something, “And children are always suppose to listen to adults, are they not?”

“What are you talking about? I’m older than you!” Heero crossed his arms and glared at me. It wasn’t a ‘I’m pissed glare’, no, this was the glare he only used for me, the ‘I’m smarter than you so deal with it glare.’ Hah… I just love to create names for Heero’s personality.

“You are? When did I tell you my birthday?” I asked, eyebrow raised a little. I hadn’t even asked him how old he was, or when his birthday was. It could have been yesterday for all I know!

“You didn’t.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I swear! If you don’t get in trouble for doing that, then I will report you!” I wondered where Heero had learned how to use a computer so well. I had never known someone like him, who would change things and never, ever get caught. It was kinda annoying, when ever I did something bad I got caught more than not, though I usually used my witty charm to get myself out of it.

“You wouldn’t.” He seemed so sure of himself, sure that I wouldn’t tell on him. And he was right, like usual. I would never tell on him… but I wasn’t going to let him know that.

“I’m gonna go down to Une’s office right now and tell her! Yup, and you cant stop me!”

“Yeah, in your gym clothes, halfway through the class period you skipped… I’m sure she would be thrilled.” He snorted, trying hard to hide the amusement in his eyes.

I stood there gaping at him. I could never win! Me! The person who could usually talk their way out of anything! Could not win against Heero in a battle of words! And he rarely talked… Gah! How frustrating!

My little rant in my brain was cut off as the gym door opened loudly and a short blond kid stumbled in. I stood up grabbing Heero’s arm in a tight grip as I stared at Quatre who was panting slightly, hands on his knees.

“Wha… Phew… I am sooo late…” He mumbled, finally looking up from the ground, straight at me and Heero. His light blue eyes widened as they fell upon me. “You…” He said, pointing a thin finger in my direction.

It seemed like hours went by, when actually only a couple minutes, I just stared at him… afraid. I was trapped! Quatre was standing right in front of my exit… no where to run… no where to hide. I could feel myself starting to shake beside Heero, and he seemed to realize also for he put a hand on my shoulder trying to calm me down.

“Duo…” Heero said while looking from me to Quatre in confusion.

Quatre’s eyes widened even more as Heero said my name. Shit… I would have cursed him if not still frozen where I stood.

“Du-o?” Quatre said my name slowly as he took a step forward. I could feel my breath quickening and my grip on Heero’s arms increased. “Your… Duo?” He asked.

I wanted to leave… I needed to get out of there! I couldn’t face him again… I would break down again… weak. I mentally slapped myself and took a deep breath in attempt to pull out of my fears.

There had to be a way out of this… I needed to think. But my mind was still fuzzy as I stared at Quatre who was walking slowly towards me.

“I… I have to leave…” It was the best I could think of at the time, I swear! Pathetic as it was, it did stop Quatre from advancing. I took that opportunity to make a dash for the door. Well, I didn’t get even two feet before someone had grabbed my arm in a tight grip that I couldn’t get out of. I thought it was Heero at first, until I saw him standing stunned across the room.

Quatre was glaring at me and his hand tightened around my wrist making me wince. “Why do you keep running away?!” He yelled, his outburst shocking me as well as himself.

If only he knew.

My heart was pounding quickly inside my chest as I stared into his light orbs. This was it… I was stuck.

“Who are you?” He asked, looking at me in confusion. It looked like he was struggling with himself about something. Almost as if he was afraid of what I would say.

He was so close to me, actually touching me… and all I could do was stand there in fear, afraid of him! Afraid of my brother, afraid of his reaction. I looked at him for awhile and willed my fears away… there was no use being scared now, I had to be strong, since he would find out soon. I just hoped that whatever his reaction was… it wouldn’t hurt me too much.

I closed my eyes as I thought of what to say. Nothing, I couldn’t think of anything! Quatre seemed to be getting a little impatient at my lack of response, his hand loosened and I wondered what would be on his face right now. And Heero’s… he must be thrilled to be finally finding out what was going on. But I wouldn’t open my eyes to look at them.

Concentrate. I told myself over and over again. I needed to calm down, and think. There was no getting out of this… no turning back… only one thing to do. But how would I do it? Should I outright tell him who I am? Or should I see if he remembers first… obviously he remembers something, or he wouldn’t be holding onto me like this.

Only one thing was for certain, I was a jumbled mess of emotions.

Well, like they say… sink or swim. There was nowhere to swim so I might as well sink.

My eyes opened, and I could now see that Quatre was looking at me with concern. Probably because I was shaking so bad. “D-Dill… I mean Quatre… I…”

He gasped slightly cutting me off with a choked, “W-what did you say? Who… How did you…?” His hand dropped my wrist and he backed away from me with wide eyes.

“I’m…” I looked down to the ground and then to Heero, trying to gauge his reaction. He was watching our little exchange with confusion written all over his face.

Opening my mouth again, I tried to tell Quatre, tried to tell the truth, but it wouldn’t sound.

“Duo…” Quatre had his hand covering his mouth as he looked at me with those wide eyes, slowly filling with tears. “You cant be… you cant be…” A choked sob escaped his lips and he slumped to the ground, never taking his eyes off of me.

I reached out a hand… wanting to touch, to comfort him, but still too nervous to take that small step forward.

“You cant be… you cant be…” He kept mumbling that over and over again and I was starting to get scared. Was he really so afraid of me… I knew it was a bad idea to show him my presence. Look at what it had done to him! I’ve made him cry!

My mental cursing was interrupted as Quatre whispered something that made my heart freeze up. My eyes widened as my knees gave way causing me to fall back onto the locker room bench. Did he just say… he couldn’t have… He repeated it once more, successfully stopping my breath.

“Y-your… dead.”

*******

TBC.

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