Just Life - Part 3 by Agent Midnight
Standard disclaimers apply
Heero keeps telling me that I should stop worrying over
the past and look towards the future, but as hard as I try, I can't
even begin to imagine how his mind works this way. Somewhere in my
messed up mind, I know that I shouldn't blame myself for how my parents
treated me, or how those nasty students decided I was their target
until we all left high school. It isn't my fault that I lost my heart
to a wonderful young man who loves me in return. Is it? Is it my fault
that I want to spend forever and eternity with the one person that
decided I was good enough to compete with?
True competition.
"Loser." said with a wink and a smile.
"Ha. You wish." replied.
Dwelling on those horrible memories doesn't make him suddenly disappear,
and despite his own worries, he's never been far when I really needed
him the most. Those years that he had left to go help his family hurt
me in a way that I didn't want to admit, but I couldn't call him back
because I know he would have hopped on the next flight. He would have
been on that damn plane if I had just dialed his number, but I couldn't
because the ties he kept with his family were good. They were strong
between each and every member, and I was not going to be the one that
came in with a pair of show scissors and snipped the ribbon. Maybe
if I had called him he would have hated me for driving him away from
his mother in her time of need. He might have hated me for being immature
and selfish, and using our love as a... oh, let's say... tool for
evil.
"Evil, you say? Duo, you dish."
Even with his fair share of turmoil and suffering, Heero managed
to come out a good-looking, polite gentleman who knows what he wants...
when he wants... how he's going to get it. For the most part, I don't
understand how he can be so nice to everyone when all I really want
to do is go downtown, buy a gun, and wreak happy havoc on everyone's
asses. Sometimes he has to cool me down, wrapping his strong arms
around me and holding me against his chest until his unique fragrance
registers in my mind and I relax. That doesn't mean the thought of
firing a gun leaves my thoughts. Heavens no. It just settles down
to a quiet buzz until he/she/it takes their frustration and leaves
me alone with my friend.
I don't know whether or not life with him is a necessarily positive
thing. Don't get me wrong, if it's not positive, then I love being
at the opposite side of the scale, but honestly! How much negativity
can I take from one person? It's one thing to be ridiculed by classmates
during my teenage years, but... I'm in my twenties now and have learned
that blushing around him comes a lot more often than when I was younger.
What's even worse, and much sadder than a 28-year-old blushing, is
a 32-year-old tap dancing in the halls during free periods with said
28-year-old-blusher laughing madly at the display.
I hate him for his calm attitude, though. I don't understand how
he accomplishes such a reaction to things that mortify me to no end.
If I could act like him when I really need to act like him, I could
have avoided so much hurt in my life. But I missed my opportunity
by letting every little thing affect me in the worst possible ways.
So sue me. I'm a wuss.
Nothing affects him.
Nothing!
It's confusing!
Wouldn't you love to frame this little tidbit, eh?
Picture it.
Free period.
Tuesday.
I had gone about the regular routine by strolling across the parking
lot and entering the building across from mine. Clomping down the
stairs towards his classroom just as I glanced at the clock and noticed
that I was late and he'd be letting his students out as scheduled.
Well, sure enough, when I stepped onto the bottom landing of the staircase,
the door at the end of the hall opened and students started to file
out. No real hurry, but still. I saw him sitting on top of his desk,
and as soon as I had enough room to slip in, I came into his classroom
and met his searching gaze.
"You're late." He mouthed to me, winking and patting the
spot on the desk next to him. I returned the affectionate wink and
waited for the last student to stroll out before I shut the door behind
them all. The second I reached him, he grabbed me by the shoulders
and pulled me in for this near-desperate kiss, making me feel like
such crap for even thinking of being late.
Well, we sorta/kinda lost track of time and got a little carried
away with our... "reacquainting". Oh, I'm sure this is becoming
a little confusing. Let me clear it up. It's not like we hadn't seen
each other in four years; we had been with each other just the night
before. Maybe we were in heat or something because I know that I really
wanted him right there, and I had thought we would have enough time.
We kissed a little too long.
Here's the visual.
Picture me on top of his desk -- still dressed, praise God Almighty
-- with him hovering over me, looking so damn sexy. Eventually, he
was on top of me, straddling my hips and slowly... so, so slowly...
pressing himself down against me.
Some kissing.
Some moans.
Some more rubbing.
Then some giggles.
Now, the giggles didn't come from Heero, or myself so... we put two
and two together and realized we had been caught. The second my face
lost some of its color, I peeked around Heero's body and saw two girls
standing in the doorway with these stupid little grins on their faces
as they watched. Even today, we're not quite sure how long they had
been standing there, and they both refused to tell us exactly when
they had walked in. I think for about three seconds I died and saw
my life flashing frantically before my eyes, and if that didn't kill
me, Heero's nonchalance towards the situation could have made me croak
then and there.
Like the calm little freak he developed into, he subtly pressed himself
against me once more as he began the process of sliding off the desk.
His warm hand caressed my cheek for just a second before he placed
it on the edge of the wood and pushed himself to stand. With his back
to the girls, he tugged his shirt down over the visible proof that
he wasn't just giving me mouth-to-mouth because I stopped breathing,
and then his expectant eyes lifted to meet mine. His head jerked a
little and I sat up and folded my coat over my lap, causing myself
to flush quickly with embarrassment.
He turned around and faced them, leaving me exposed and in the open.
I thanked him later for allowing me the time to cover myself before
he allowed them to see me, but that's besides the point. Heero moved
towards the door slowly... calmly... casually!... and put one of his
hands on the inside door handle. One of the two girls was watching
me like I was the most interesting thing ever to be seen, and she
finally winked before turning her attention to Heero.
Clearing his throat, Heero smiled at the two girls and started to
close the door.
"If you ladies would please excuse us, we happen to be quite
busy right now."
The girls laughed.
"There are some activities that are better without an audience."
He turned to look at me for just a second before turning back. "No
offence."
"None taken, sir."
The door was almost closed, but the one that had been watching me
like a hawk managed to get her voice to reach to where I sat before
the wood blocked out the sound.
"I'd pay close attention to the clock."
I glanced up at the clock above the whiteboard and did exactly what
she wanted me to do.
Seventeen minutes.
Needless to say, I left that room a very happy professor. I could
have cared less who knew what we had done when I joined Heero for
lunch and noticed that he was smiling.
What can I say? I'm a die-hard Heero fan.
*******
TBC
*******
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