In My Life by Agent Midnight
Standard disclaimers apply


It was the kind of afternoon that made every young person want to drop whatever it was they were doing just so they could step outside and smell the fresh air. The blue skies were endless depths of color, expanding across the neighborhood and taunting everything with their cloudless waves of beauty. Rays of golden sunshine blew into the open windows of one brick house in particular, shedding the light onto a tile counter that held nothing but a cookie jar that had a comical image imprinted on its side. The red lobster smiled insanely up at the young woman standing by the sink, begging for some of its contents to be emptied. Like always, she ignored the cookie jar with bright eyes and a small smile, promising herself that she would get a little treat only after she had cleaned the dishes.

The young woman moved away from the sink for just a second to flip on the portable CD player that she kept propped on a kitchen shelf that was meant for spices and decorative kitchen items which, obviously, she did not feel was necessary. The music filtered in a blending dance with the nature coming in from the window, making both into a spectacular remix of sound and rythmn. Laughing in delight, she bounced over to the sink and set back to work.

Standing pressed against the metal, she could feel the water seeping onto her clothes from the leaking sink, but she couldn't have cared less as she gazed out the window and saw her husband moving about the front yard in nothing but shorts as he mowed the lawn. He caught her eye a second later and sent a wink in her direction, pushing the mower towards the side patch of grass.

The strapping young woman at the sink was none other than Relena Peacecraft, looking as beautiful as she did when she was fifteen years of age. In actuality, the woman at the sink was just that: a woman. By that time, she was well passed being able to drive, well passed being able to be considered an adult, and well passed the point of no return when she could go into a store and buy alcohol without having to be carded. There was youth in her bright, cheerful face, but there was just the tiniest hint of age around the corners of her eyes, crinkled slightly even when her face was relaxed. This woman was well into her forties, but not many people knew this. Clever-minded, and quick on the draw, Relena had somehow convinced half the world that she was only in her early thirties.

"Honestly, do I look like I'm forty?"

She had the sense of humor of a teenage boy, and everyone knew and adored this fact about her. She could act pretty with the rest of her female friends, but she had a special place in her heart for her guys. Not just regular guys, though, but the group she had practically grown up with. She knew how to kick off her shoes and drink a cold beer with Duo Maxwell, who also made sure she knew how to hot-wire a vehicle, but she also knew how to put on some oven mits and bake a cake.

Heero Yuy had passed down some of his gifts to her by teaching the complicated wiring of a computer, which she was almost positive she would never have to use that knowledge in the distant future. Of course she didn't tell him this because she wouldn't have traded that bonding time for anything in the world, and after a while, she started to enjoy it. He had taught her so many useless things that she honestly began to feel that each and every one of those tricks was going to be used in her lifetime. After all, if her toaster happened to blow up, she would know how to fix it in four easy steps.

Trowa Barton had taught her how to laugh, how to smile, and how to make a poodle out of a balloon. She had found this terribly funny when he had walked in wearing his clown costume and found her crying on her sofa. Nothing had killed the emotion more than hearing him squeak into the room and plop down beside her, not saying one word until he finally pulled out two balloons and tried to cheer her up in the only way he knew how. Even over ten years later, she wished she could have kept that balloon animal forever, because at the time, it had cheered her up, and she had laughed for the first time in what seemed like ages.

Quatre Raberba Winner taught her to not take her job so seriously. He had taught her that smiling once in a while during serious business meetings was good for the attitude. Of course, he had acheived this only through sending silly faces everywhere while across from her at the meeting table. One of their sponsors got hit in the head with a paper airplane, which Quatre denied making even as he held another one perched inbetween his fingers. That meeting had gone quickly down the drain as she burst into laughter and couldn't manage to stop; Quatre had joined her, and everyone else had left with disapproval in their postures but amusement in their eyes.

Chang Wufei had taught her how to defend herself against a mugger, and even showed her the correct way to not only swing a sword, but an axe, as well. Relena had been so excited about learning something new that she had run outside, grabbed the axe, and cut down one of the shrubs in Quatre's backyard. They all kindly told her that that was chicken scratch compared to what was the real challenge, and then the comments immediately changed as she turned and gave them all a mock-glare.

"Great job."

"Excellent swing, you got, girl."

"Fantastic!"

"True man."

"Niiiice."

Duo had kindly showed her how to get into all the popular clubs using a fake I.D., even though they were all old enough to get into them. He had also shown her the wonders of making oneself look younger so they can get carded. It had been at least seven years since someone had carded her, and within one night, they had both been stopped outside of the club and were practically frisked from suspicion. They got carded at the bar, and got carded again when they came back for seconds. Relena had never had so much fun with anyone until she did the things she did with Duo.

He was the type of person that just made people feel good about themselves, even making Quatre's ninety-seven year old grandfather want to go out and look for a date, which the grandmother figure disapproved of completely. He had made her feel young and beautiful again, bringing back some of the charm of the teenager years with a specific type of clothing and fixing of the hair. He had given her nothing but kindness, and she was glad that she could call him her friend.

She had had a chugging contest with Quatre and Duo, and her memory wasn't so bad that she couldn't remember her and Trowa getting out the cards and playing a dozen games of "Speed". She remembered Heero trying to teach her how to dribble the basketball, and Wufei trying to get her to ride his motorcycle around the block. She's still pained with the fact that she had fallen asleep after they all had watched badly dubbed martial arts movies and woke up dressed completely in Trowa's clown garb, face paint included.

She remembered that "one-time" fling she had had with Quatre that proved to be the best two months of her life before it dawned on them both that they didn't love each other. It still warmed her heart when she remembered how nasty that sweet blonde could be when she least suspected it. They had loved each other to a certain extent, but they hadn't found love in each other's embrace. It wasn't until about a month and a half into the relationship that the passion they felt when they made love was nothing but the love of two friends.

They had broken it off, and nothing had changed. Everything went back to normal like that two months had never existed, but they both felt that it had. When she was at the point of dating her soon-to-be husband, he had asked her the fated question of past boyfriends, and all she had to say was that she was in love once. For a short period of time, she was in love with a wonderful person who treated her like she meant something.

It seemed like she had fallen in love with each of her friends at some point in time. She never mentioned that to her husband, simply because she had never done anything like what she had done with Quatre. With him, they had gone a little too far too quickly, and had broken up just as fast without the heartache.

She had fallen in love with Heero the second she heard his real laugh years after the wars. He had never been so happy before, and when she finally got to witness who he really was, it melted her heart away until she felt like she should have been crying over the experience.

Duo had held her heart through his friendship and the tender way he would do everything. No one ever seemed to care about her happiness more than he did, and a part of her heart had cracked under that pressure that he was forcing upon her. That love was never returned because he had Heero, and Heero had him.

Trowa had stolen her away with his attitude and quiet compassion. The way he would treat everything and everyone around him like they were nothing but equal to him made her always feel like she could run to him in times of need. If something bad happened to her, she knew he was the one to go to where she wouldn't be judged for anything. And he was the one she went to when she needed advice, or needed a friend to lean against.

Wufei held her strength. Whenever she needed someone to make her feel safe and protected, all she needed to do was to find him and he would be there to tell her exactly what needed to be done and how. Sometimes he would take her out on strolls through the park and whenever she was cold, he would wrap his coat around her shoulders like a true gentleman would and guide her back to warmth. He was the one she needed when she didn't want to laugh and feel better, but during those times when she just needed to cry without having someone bring her back to normal. She went to him when she wanted something to be kept secret, and he would never mention what happened to anyone. He took her breath away like the rest.

Her love faded for each of them and then dulled to a slow throb that was only shattered and broken when she met her soon-to-be husband. Even as she went through the dating process with him, that eventually developing into love, she still couldn't shake the feelings she still had for each of them. When she had finally walked down the aisle like she had always dreamed of, and saw the five of them standing off to the side of her husband, her heart felt like it was about to explode from emotion.

She didn't want to say good-bye to everything the six of them had. She didn't want to give up their relationship for another man, but she couldn't help it. Her heart had been captured by someone else, and she knew that she would never have a chance with any of her friends. Those two months with Quatre had been spectacular, and if she could have played that continuously forever, she would have done so if it wasn't for the fact that she wouldn't have seen the wonders of the others.

Moving away from them broke her heart for a little too long until she managed to force the depression away and focus on her new life. And with her mind going in the correct direction, she had begun her new life just as easily as she had fallen in love.

It hurt to realize that she missed everything they did together.

She missed seeing Heero and Duo kissing each other in the kitchen while trying to focus on breakfast.

She missed laughing with them, and smiling at senseless jokes they spoke during dinner...

She missed making balloon animals, and walking through the park.

She missed poking at colorful wires in Heero's laptop just to try and remember them by color-code with Heero sitting on his bed and laughing with her. Nothing had confused her more than at those times, but somehow - with Heero's help - she had learned the basics of wiring.

She missed pretending to sneak into clubs with fake I.D.'s, and "risk" going up to the bar to get a drink with a restless Duo moving behind her, offering support and encouragement all the while.

She missed all these things.

It hurt.

It hurt to lose that.

When she was alone and had the time to think about it, she realized that she missed being in love with each of them.

And even though it wasn't returned, she wanted that back.

She wanted to love them again.

She wanted them to be a part of her happiness.

And she wanted to be a part of theirs.

She wanted them to love her.

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The End

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