In My Life by Agent Midnight
Standard disclaimers apply
It was the kind of afternoon that made every young person
want to drop whatever it was they were doing just so they could step
outside and smell the fresh air. The blue skies were endless depths
of color, expanding across the neighborhood and taunting everything
with their cloudless waves of beauty. Rays of golden sunshine blew
into the open windows of one brick house in particular, shedding the
light onto a tile counter that held nothing but a cookie jar that
had a comical image imprinted on its side. The red lobster smiled
insanely up at the young woman standing by the sink, begging for some
of its contents to be emptied. Like always, she ignored the cookie
jar with bright eyes and a small smile, promising herself that she
would get a little treat only after she had cleaned the dishes.
The young woman moved away from the sink for just a second to flip
on the portable CD player that she kept propped on a kitchen shelf
that was meant for spices and decorative kitchen items which, obviously,
she did not feel was necessary. The music filtered in a blending dance
with the nature coming in from the window, making both into a spectacular
remix of sound and rythmn. Laughing in delight, she bounced over to
the sink and set back to work.
Standing pressed against the metal, she could feel the water seeping
onto her clothes from the leaking sink, but she couldn't have cared
less as she gazed out the window and saw her husband moving about
the front yard in nothing but shorts as he mowed the lawn. He caught
her eye a second later and sent a wink in her direction, pushing the
mower towards the side patch of grass.
The strapping young woman at the sink was none other than Relena
Peacecraft, looking as beautiful as she did when she was fifteen years
of age. In actuality, the woman at the sink was just that: a woman.
By that time, she was well passed being able to drive, well passed
being able to be considered an adult, and well passed the point of
no return when she could go into a store and buy alcohol without having
to be carded. There was youth in her bright, cheerful face, but there
was just the tiniest hint of age around the corners of her eyes, crinkled
slightly even when her face was relaxed. This woman was well into
her forties, but not many people knew this. Clever-minded, and quick
on the draw, Relena had somehow convinced half the world that she
was only in her early thirties.
"Honestly, do I look like I'm forty?"
She had the sense of humor of a teenage boy, and everyone knew and
adored this fact about her. She could act pretty with the rest of
her female friends, but she had a special place in her heart for her
guys. Not just regular guys, though, but the group she had practically
grown up with. She knew how to kick off her shoes and drink a cold
beer with Duo Maxwell, who also made sure she knew how to hot-wire
a vehicle, but she also knew how to put on some oven mits and bake
a cake.
Heero Yuy had passed down some of his gifts to her by teaching the
complicated wiring of a computer, which she was almost positive she
would never have to use that knowledge in the distant future. Of course
she didn't tell him this because she wouldn't have traded that bonding
time for anything in the world, and after a while, she started to
enjoy it. He had taught her so many useless things that she honestly
began to feel that each and every one of those tricks was going to
be used in her lifetime. After all, if her toaster happened to blow
up, she would know how to fix it in four easy steps.
Trowa Barton had taught her how to laugh, how to smile, and how to
make a poodle out of a balloon. She had found this terribly funny
when he had walked in wearing his clown costume and found her crying
on her sofa. Nothing had killed the emotion more than hearing him
squeak into the room and plop down beside her, not saying one word
until he finally pulled out two balloons and tried to cheer her up
in the only way he knew how. Even over ten years later, she wished
she could have kept that balloon animal forever, because at the time,
it had cheered her up, and she had laughed for the first time in what
seemed like ages.
Quatre Raberba Winner taught her to not take her job so seriously.
He had taught her that smiling once in a while during serious business
meetings was good for the attitude. Of course, he had acheived this
only through sending silly faces everywhere while across from her
at the meeting table. One of their sponsors got hit in the head with
a paper airplane, which Quatre denied making even as he held another
one perched inbetween his fingers. That meeting had gone quickly down
the drain as she burst into laughter and couldn't manage to stop;
Quatre had joined her, and everyone else had left with disapproval
in their postures but amusement in their eyes.
Chang Wufei had taught her how to defend herself against a mugger,
and even showed her the correct way to not only swing a sword, but
an axe, as well. Relena had been so excited about learning something
new that she had run outside, grabbed the axe, and cut down one of
the shrubs in Quatre's backyard. They all kindly told her that that
was chicken scratch compared to what was the real challenge, and then
the comments immediately changed as she turned and gave them all a
mock-glare.
"Great job."
"Excellent swing, you got, girl."
"Fantastic!"
"True man."
"Niiiice."
Duo had kindly showed her how to get into all the popular clubs using
a fake I.D., even though they were all old enough to get into them.
He had also shown her the wonders of making oneself look younger so
they can get carded. It had been at least seven years since someone
had carded her, and within one night, they had both been stopped outside
of the club and were practically frisked from suspicion. They got
carded at the bar, and got carded again when they came back for seconds.
Relena had never had so much fun with anyone until she did the things
she did with Duo.
He was the type of person that just made people feel good about themselves,
even making Quatre's ninety-seven year old grandfather want to go
out and look for a date, which the grandmother figure disapproved
of completely. He had made her feel young and beautiful again, bringing
back some of the charm of the teenager years with a specific type
of clothing and fixing of the hair. He had given her nothing but kindness,
and she was glad that she could call him her friend.
She had had a chugging contest with Quatre and Duo, and her memory
wasn't so bad that she couldn't remember her and Trowa getting out
the cards and playing a dozen games of "Speed". She remembered
Heero trying to teach her how to dribble the basketball, and Wufei
trying to get her to ride his motorcycle around the block. She's still
pained with the fact that she had fallen asleep after they all had
watched badly dubbed martial arts movies and woke up dressed completely
in Trowa's clown garb, face paint included.
She remembered that "one-time" fling she had had with Quatre
that proved to be the best two months of her life before it dawned
on them both that they didn't love each other. It still warmed her
heart when she remembered how nasty that sweet blonde could be when
she least suspected it. They had loved each other to a certain extent,
but they hadn't found love in each other's embrace. It wasn't until
about a month and a half into the relationship that the passion they
felt when they made love was nothing but the love of two friends.
They had broken it off, and nothing had changed. Everything went
back to normal like that two months had never existed, but they both
felt that it had. When she was at the point of dating her soon-to-be
husband, he had asked her the fated question of past boyfriends, and
all she had to say was that she was in love once. For a short period
of time, she was in love with a wonderful person who treated her like
she meant something.
It seemed like she had fallen in love with each of her friends at
some point in time. She never mentioned that to her husband, simply
because she had never done anything like what she had done with Quatre.
With him, they had gone a little too far too quickly, and had broken
up just as fast without the heartache.
She had fallen in love with Heero the second she heard his real laugh
years after the wars. He had never been so happy before, and when
she finally got to witness who he really was, it melted her heart
away until she felt like she should have been crying over the experience.
Duo had held her heart through his friendship and the tender way
he would do everything. No one ever seemed to care about her happiness
more than he did, and a part of her heart had cracked under that pressure
that he was forcing upon her. That love was never returned because
he had Heero, and Heero had him.
Trowa had stolen her away with his attitude and quiet compassion.
The way he would treat everything and everyone around him like they
were nothing but equal to him made her always feel like she could
run to him in times of need. If something bad happened to her, she
knew he was the one to go to where she wouldn't be judged for anything.
And he was the one she went to when she needed advice, or needed a
friend to lean against.
Wufei held her strength. Whenever she needed someone to make her
feel safe and protected, all she needed to do was to find him and
he would be there to tell her exactly what needed to be done and how.
Sometimes he would take her out on strolls through the park and whenever
she was cold, he would wrap his coat around her shoulders like a true
gentleman would and guide her back to warmth. He was the one she needed
when she didn't want to laugh and feel better, but during those times
when she just needed to cry without having someone bring her back
to normal. She went to him when she wanted something to be kept secret,
and he would never mention what happened to anyone. He took her breath
away like the rest.
Her love faded for each of them and then dulled to a slow throb that
was only shattered and broken when she met her soon-to-be husband.
Even as she went through the dating process with him, that eventually
developing into love, she still couldn't shake the feelings she still
had for each of them. When she had finally walked down the aisle like
she had always dreamed of, and saw the five of them standing off to
the side of her husband, her heart felt like it was about to explode
from emotion.
She didn't want to say good-bye to everything the six of them had.
She didn't want to give up their relationship for another man, but
she couldn't help it. Her heart had been captured by someone else,
and she knew that she would never have a chance with any of her friends.
Those two months with Quatre had been spectacular, and if she could
have played that continuously forever, she would have done so if it
wasn't for the fact that she wouldn't have seen the wonders of the
others.
Moving away from them broke her heart for a little too long until
she managed to force the depression away and focus on her new life.
And with her mind going in the correct direction, she had begun her
new life just as easily as she had fallen in love.
It hurt to realize that she missed everything they did together.
She missed seeing Heero and Duo kissing each other in the kitchen
while trying to focus on breakfast.
She missed laughing with them, and smiling at senseless jokes they
spoke during dinner...
She missed making balloon animals, and walking through the park.
She missed poking at colorful wires in Heero's laptop just to try
and remember them by color-code with Heero sitting on his bed and
laughing with her. Nothing had confused her more than at those times,
but somehow - with Heero's help - she had learned the basics of wiring.
She missed pretending to sneak into clubs with fake I.D.'s, and "risk"
going up to the bar to get a drink with a restless Duo moving behind
her, offering support and encouragement all the while.
She missed all these things.
It hurt.
It hurt to lose that.
When she was alone and had the time to think about it, she realized
that she missed being in love with each of them.
And even though it wasn't returned, she wanted that back.
She wanted to love them again.
She wanted them to be a part of her happiness.
And she wanted to be a part of theirs.
She wanted them to love her.
*******
The End
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