I Try - The Second Verse by Maaya
The song belongs so Macy Gray and is called "I Try"
Standard disclaimers apply

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//I may appear to be free
But I’m just a prisoner of your love//

Jeez, when I do something, I do it throughout, okay? It’s both a good and bad side I have, steadfast in my personality.

I had told Quatre I wanted to leave. He was surprised but something made him understand that I was upset and very serious about my decision, so he ordered one of his merry men to drive me to the nearest space-port. I took a cheap shuttle to one of the L2-colonies and just.. wandered around for a while – doing nothing. I thought about how I had run away and decided that it was what I have always done, run and hide. So sue me.

After a while I realized that walking on an empty tummy wasn’t good so
I began doing some small jobs for money. No – don’t get me wrong. I never whored myself nor did I do anything out of law. I fixed cars and such. Very funny. Don’t you dare to laugh at me.

Why I went to L2, you might ask me about. The answer is simple – I know those colonies. I know how to act, I know how other acts. I know how people speak and I know how I should speak to be accepted. I know the rules.

Hell, my way of speaking reeks of L2, or more precisely, L2-slang. It makes me even more comfortable about being here. I’m not one to be embarrassed about who I am, but I still like to be in places where people are like me - or maybe where I am like?

I stayed at an old motel during that time, one that was badly taken care of. It’s those that ‘you-have-to-look-in-your-shoes-in-the-morning-to-see-if-there-are-any-rats-there’ kind of bad.

Yuck. I hate rats.

It’s not like I’m not used to them, but I don’t necessarily have to like them now do I?

That’s what I thought.

On my free time I could sometimes play street-basket with some.. kids in my age. They were mostly street-rats and way older than any ‘normal’ kid but still, I felt as if I was way beyond their age. One of the perks of being a gundam pilot, I guess.

But yet, something was missing. I missed my friends.. and Heero. I hadn’t called them or contacted them in any way since I left so I figured that they were kinda wondering about where I was and what I was doing now. Well, I hoped they were wondering about that anyway.

I decided to call Quatre. Since the shitty motel I was staying at didn’t have phones of any kind, I used a phone-booth. It was dark outside by the time I finally forced myself to call and the streetlamps’ lights were reflected in the slightly wet asphalt, giving it all some kind of bad horror movie-feeling.

I dialed the number and waited as signal after signal was heard and went into silence again, unanswered. Finally, on the tenth signal and just before I was on my way to push the button that would stop the call, Quatre answered.

He appeared on the screen, looking flushed and annoyed, the blue eyes slightly glossy. I had this uncomfortable feeling that I had interrupted something.. something important. My bad timing never fails me. Hooray.

Quatre’s annoyed face softened when he saw who it was that had called this late in the night. “Duo!” He exclaimed and I couldn’t help but grin at how relieved he looked. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

Trowa appeared on the screen, also flushed and his chest was bare. It made me wonder about the lower parts.. “Duo.” He interrupted my thoughts with the calm greeting and I forced my mind away from all the perverted thoughts.

//I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front//

I hoped I wasn’t blushing as I scratched the back of my head, my laugh sounding slightly sheepish. “Uhh, hi, both of you. I’m on L2, I’m okay.. bye!” I had planned to hang up after that, but something Trowa said made me pause.

“How’s Heero?”

Caught by surprise, I stared at my friends who, alarmed by my shock, stared back. “Why do you ask me?”

//I play it off but I’m dreamin’ of you
I’ll keep my cool but I’m fiendin’//

“What are you talking about?” It was Quatre who spoke, frowning.

“Well, what are *you* talking about?” I was getting confused and maybe slightly angry about the fact that they had mentioned Heero. I wanted to ignore and forget about him. “Why should he be with me?”

“He’s gone and we assumed that he went after you.”

I choked on my chewing gum, a big one with cherry-flavor, and I started coughing in desperate attempts of trying to get air. Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught glimpses of Quatre’s and Trowa’s confused faces on the phone screen. I gave them some helpless waves with my hands as I continued to cough and cough and surprisingly enough, cough even more.

Just as I was about to get dizzy, I managed to swallow the gum and I took some deep breaths of fresh air to be able to relax again and maybe gather some of dignity. Needless to say, I felt embarrassed.

“What *are* you doing?”

“Sorry Quatre, choked on my gum.”

“Gum?”

I tapped my fingers against the Plexiglas of the phone-booth, wanting to get away from the subject. “Chewing gum, what else?” Before he had a chance to reply, I continued. “Now, please tell me why you thought Heero was with me!”

“He left about an hour after you did so we guessed he was following you.”

“And just why did you assume that?”

Quatre shrugged, looking helpless. “I just assumed..”

I interrupted him, feeling angry. “Yeah, yeah, just leave the subject, please?” The ‘please’ in the sentence came out more ironic than intended. “I have to go. Bye.” I hung up before either of them had a chance to say anything. It felt good to hit the button harder than necessary just to let some of the anger out, but it wasn’t good for my fist. I swore.

As I made my way down the wet street, I was fuming, either from frustration, irritation or anger – I couldn’t decide.

So Heero was gone. And the guys had thought he was with me. They had absolutely no right to assume that, had they? A fact that didn’t matter was that somewhere in my mind, I had wished they had been right.

But where was he?

Since I for some reason didn’t want to go back to the motel, I decided to go to a small coffee shop I had been to regularly these few weeks I had spent on this colony. I had, and still have, a weak spot for their cappuccino. So I’m a caffeine-addict. Sue me.

It was chilly outside, windy, and my arms were covered in goose-bumps
by the time I finally arrived to the shop. I opened the door and entered, feeling better as the air and smell of coffee hit me like a pleasant wall of warmth.

Arnaldo, the owner of the shop, stood at the counter, cleaning the concrete with an old rug that looked.. disgusting. I don’t want to get into the details here.

Two girls sat together in one of the corners, talking lowly to each other without looking up as I entered, and I ignored them as completely as they had with me.Arnaldo though, lit up when he saw me. “Maxwell! What do you want this late in the night?”

I shrugged. “The usual. And, for goodness sake, in a washed cup this time!”

He shrugged back, as if to mock me slightly. “My mugs are always clean,
Maxwell.”

“Believe what you want.” I rolled my eyes as I leaned against the counter, watching him as he filled a cup with cappuccino before giving it to me. Arnaldo could sometimes remind me of Howard, they were of the same kind – old and smart, but in a strange way, also cool.

I stayed at the counter, sipping at my coffee and quietly speaking with the old man. After a while, the girls left, leaving me as the only customer in the shop. Since I had ‘lost’ my earlier chewing gum, I bought a new packet now – this time with apple flavour. Well, I had believed that it was apple, but when the coffee was drank and I took a gum, it turned out to be lime. I absolutely hate lime. Grimacing, I chewed on it as I looked around for a rubbish bin. I didn’t find one.

In the middle of a heated conversation about the size of a perfect ice-cream, the door to the shop opened. A young man entered, dressed in blue jeans and a long, black coat. The unruly brown bangs hung over the Prussian blue eyes, giving him a mysterious look.

Yup – you guessed it. It was Heero Yuy.

It was pretty damn ironic, wasn’t it? Here I was, trying to be as far away from him as possible since I was to much of a coward to tell him what I felt, and of course, I had to meet up with him – out of coincidence - in a small coffee shop on a L2-colony.

//I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble//

We stared at each other in a sudden moment of confusion before something slid down my throat. You guessed it, it was my chewing gum and it made me choke.

Promising myself to never buy chewing gums again, I broke mine and
Heero’s eye contact as I began coughing. Ever choked on a big gum with lime-flavor? It’s not a pleasant experience, not the least, I’ll tell you that.

With a *very* strong feeling of déja vu, I saw Heero and Arnaldo watching me with confused expressions.

I continued to cough.

After a moment, they seemed to realize what was going on and I felt someone slap me on my back with an open palm until the gum came up. I spat it out on the floor, not really bothering if an old lady would step on it tomorrow or not, as I was too busy with breathing and..thinking about what I should say to Heero.

When I finally dared to look up, I was met by Prussian eyes looking into my own violet ones in concern. I got this sudden urge to blush like an young school girl. For short, I felt embarrassed. “Thanks.” I managed to say in a half-choked voice, hoping I wasn’t crimson in my face.

“No problem.” He sounded cool, as always.

“Uhh, what are you doing here?” I couldn’t help but ask.

He shrugged another one of his non commenting shrugs and I just wanted to scream in frustration.

We stared at each other for a while as neither one of us seemed to find anything useful to say. I thought about asking where he had been, why he was here and, more importantly, if he wanted to stay, but before I had a chance to gather my courage, Arnaldo spoke up.

“You two know each other?” He asked in his slightly accented English, looking back and forth between us.

“Yeah.” I said shortly before turning to Heero. “Want some coffee?” My voice sounded harsher than intended.

He shrugged again (Jeez) but just as I opened my mouth to order something, he spoke up. “Where do you live?”

“At the motel ‘round the corner.”

“Can we go there?”

“Sure.” I felt confused.

//Though I try to hide it it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near//

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End Second Verse

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