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by Lilinpo
".....Catherine will be coming soon.."
Duo knocked on the door and peaked in.
"...Oh.. okay.."
Quatre turned his face around with a weak smile. Duo faintly smiled back and closed the door behind him. He advanced to Quatre and stood beside him.
"... He looks so peaceful, doesn't he?... It's like he's sleeping..."
Quatre turned back to the lying figure. He has been sitting in the same room all day.
Duo kneeled down and touched Trowa's crossing hands. It was cold and dry.
"...He's sleeping.... Dreaming.... He's dreaming... But.."
Duo looked up at Quatre's face. His eyes were red and sore from crying. He was still in his pajamas and his hair tangled. Duo could tell Quatre didn't get any sleep.
"He'll... never wake up again... He'll never move... smile.... laugh..."
Quatre was beginning to sob again, tears slowly forming up in his tired eyes. Duo brushed his tangled hair and pulled him down to his shoulder.
".... He's not coming back! ... I... can't believe it.. I don't want to!!.. But..... Trowa is DEAD!!!"
Quatre screeched and embraced Duo's neck. Duo gently stroked Quatre's hair and let him cry. He knew how close Quatre and Trowa were, and how much they needed each other. How much they can die for each other.
He was afraid... Afraid for Quatre. Can he go on with his life?
"..... I like your first theory better."
Duo finally spoke. Quatre lifted his face from Duo's shoulder in confusion.
"You said he's dreaming, right? Well, what if he was?"
Duo slowly pushed Quatre to his chair and faced Trowa.
"He looks like Trowa."
After a minute or two, Duo started to whisper. He brought his hand up to stroke Trowa's hair.
"This feels like Trowa's hair."
He continued stroking for some seconds, and slid his hand to lift Trowa's hand.
"Yep. This must be the strong hand he maneuvered Heavyarms with."
He softly placed Trowa's hand back and turned back.
"This is Trowa, alright. Everything is normal... except that his eyes are closed.."
Quatre titled his head. He wasn't getting what Duo is trying to say.
"He is still Trowa.. but deep in sleep...A wonderful dream... A dream so bright and joyful that he wants to stay asleep forever."
Duo pointed his index finger upwards and leaned closer to Quatre.
"You see, we'll all get to see that dream someday.... when it's our time...."
Quatre realized what Duo was getting at.
"How cute..." Quatre chuckled inwardly but covered it with a warm smile. He slowly reached to touch Duo's cheek.
"Thank you, Duo. I get what you're saying... Don't worry..."
Quatre slid his hand to Duo's neck and pulled him close. Duo hugged back.
"I... I have to live.... For Trowa..."
Quatre whispered. Duo nodded and tightened his arms.
Quatre smiled mysteriously, but Duo is unable to see. He stroked Duo's neck up and down, almost seductively.
"You trust me too much, Duo. I can take your life now... Poor Duo..." Quatre slid his head down to the nape of his neck and gave it a butterfly kiss.
"Poor, poor Duo.... What a fool you are... You really trust me..... but can you trust me with your life?"
Duo felt a little strange.... Usually when Quatre hugs him, he felt peaceful and tranquilized.... But at that moment... he felt... uncomfortable in Quatre's arms...
"... Quatre?..."
Quatre didn't say anything, but let Duo go. He looks at Duo's confused face and smiled.
"Really,... I am okay... I.. just need a little rest..."
Quatre said quietly. He looked away from Duo and dropped his shoulders.
Duo nodded and shook away his thoughts. He knew this was really hard on Quatre.
".. You should go to your room and rest... Catherine is going to be here any minute.."
He gently tapped Quatre's helpless shoulder and stood up. He looked back to see Trowa's face for one last time and headed out.
The room went quiet again.
Quatre stared at Trowa's colorless face.
He stood up and sat on the side of the bed. He slowly put his arms around Trowa's neck and placed his head on his chest.
"I can't die now. Ne, Trowa?"
He kissed him on the cheek and laughed.
"... Not until I take everyone to you, Trowa... Don't cry.... You wont be alone for long... We'll all be together again.... Soon..."
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"How was Quatre?"
Duo went to the living room and saw Heero sitting at the kitchen table with Wufei.
"He was okay... Or he wanted me to think so... But.."
Duo went to the fridge and grabbed a soda. He gulped almost all of it and faced the two listeners.
"... I'm not sure if I should say this... but... he was a little.... strange.."
"Of course. Trowa just died and you expect him to act normal?"
Wufei sipped his coffee. Only Heero stayed quiet and watched Duo.
"I know that... I know it's very hard on him... But he wasn't...."
Duo looked down and closed his mouth, which he rarely did. He wanted to say Quatre wasn't himself, but who'd blame him? He has just lost the most important person in his life....
"I know... this is not the right time to be saying this... but... I.. didn't feel him... I didn't feel any Quatre when he touched me..." "Say what you want to say, Duo."
Duo could feel Heero's eyes locked on him. He knew Duo had something to say but didn't want to worry others by saying it. Heero always read Duo's mind, effortlessly.
".. It's not really important at this point... I'm just... tired.. I guess."
Duo went to the living room with the remaining soda in his hand. He sat on the leather couch and leaned his head back.
".... It still feels... like a dream... He wouldn't just... die like that..."
Duo sipped a little more and put the soda on the table. He turned around and crossed his arms on the back of the couch.
"...... Do you think...."
Duo started. Wufei and Heero waited. Duo paused and changed his question.
"...Did he have any reason to die?..."
Duo placed his chin on his arms and watched the two boys. From the look of their eyes, Duo knew they both were probably thinking the same thing.
Wufei snorted a little.
"He didn't leave any note, message, nothing. How are we supposed to know?"
With that, he got up and left the kitchen.
Heero and Duo listened to the ticking of the clock for a while. Heero was the one to break the silence.
"You think someone killed him?"
Duo jumped a little and looked at Heero in amazement.
"Was my face that obvious?" Duo thought he kept all his thoughts inside to himself very well. But Heero was not to be underestimated. When it came to observation, Heero was like thousands of camera: not missing every single move.
"... I'm... not sure... But I don't think he'll just leave Quatre... like that..."
Duo turned back around and leaned on the soft couch. He wasn't sure what he was thinking. He, and as well as the rest of the pilots, never even thought that this would happen. As a Gundam pilot, they were always ready for death and self-destruct if necessary. But that was before...
After living and fighting together, they realized this wasn't about themselves anymore. They need to survive for each other.
They had a reason to live now.
Duo closed his eyes and pictured Quatre and Trowa whispering secretly to each other, which was what they always did after dinner. It was Duo, Heero, and Wufei's cue to get out of the living room and let them be. Of course, it took them a while to realize they were left alone.
Trowa.... Always quiet but was always thinking what's best for the group... He never placed himself before the group and was always calm to think things straight. He never panicked in front of his group because he didn't want the fear to spread.. He didn't want the group to worry about him, but he always concerned himself with others.
".. Now that I think about it.... He always looked over us... like a big brother..." Duo smiled. And although he rarely showed it, Duo knew Trowa had the most beautiful, heart-warming smile...
"... You.. wouldn't just... leave like that... ne, Trowa?"
Duo whispered, mostly to himself. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel the hot tears ready to leak from them.
"..?"
He suddenly felt another weight on the couch beside him and soft hand on top of his head.
"Heero...?.."
Duo gulped down the tears and turned to Heero, who was stroking his head. He was facing forward not looking at Duo, but continued stroking his head.
"Ha..ha.. now stop it.. I'm not a kid...."
Duo tried to shove his hand away, but Heero didn't allow it. He continued to brush his fingers through it.
"Heero!.. Stop!....it..."
Duo choked on his tears which was crawling up on him again. He was trying hard to fight the tears away, but Heero's kind gesture was almost forcing him to cry.
"Heero~.. are you listening?... Hee-!?"
Heero suddenly pulled Duo's head to his chest. Duo couldn't comprehend what had happened at first... And then...
"... Heero no baka!...aahh"
That was it. Duo could not hold his tears anymore. His face was burning red and tears dropping one after another like raindrops. Heero kept stroking his hair, waiting for Duo to let it all out.
"... Heero... Oka~y.. you can stop now.."
After a minute or so, Duo giggled slightly but let his head stay on Heero's chest. Still, Heero stroked his hair and Duo didn't stop him. He closed his wet lashes to feel Heero's gentle fingers.
".... What do you think...?.."
Duo spoke finally. Heero didn't respond right of way, so Duo looked up to see if he heard.
"When I was with him on the mission... he... or we didn't talk much but... we learn to connect with our minds..."
Heero started. Duo looked down and took Heero's other hand. There was a small scar on the palm from the mission... The mission he had with Trowa not so long ago.
"..When I got this scar... he blamed himself... Although it was my mistake.... He didn't forgive himself... cut his own left hand..."
Duo gasped a little. He gently stroke the scarred hand.
"..That's why he had the scar..."
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"Trowa?!.. Your hand! What happened!??"
Quatre held Trowa's bandaged hand when he and Heero came back from the three month mission.
"It's nothing. A little accident, that's all." Trowa smiled and gently put his hand down from Quatre's.
But Quatre took the hand again in his.
And gently kissed it.
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Duo smiled at the memory and dropped a warm kiss on Heero's hand.
"Does it still hurt?"
Heero shook his head.
"..It never did...."
Duo trapped Heero's hand between his and leaned on Heero's chest again.
"He was more concerned about me than himself.. When I first met him... his eyes were dead... Didn't have the spark.... But after being with Quatre, his eyes were filled with life... I don't know what Quatre did to change him.... But.."
Heero took Duo's hands in a tight grip. Duo looked up in Heero's eyes.
"I do know he would never commit suicide.... Because he lived for Quatre.... for us...."
".... I know.."
Duo embraced Heero's neck and dug his face on his shoulder. Fresh tears were starting to fall.
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Who knew about this side of Trowa? From the movies and animations I've seen of GW, Trowa is always keeping his cool and pretend he doesn't care.. but seems to be the first one to make his move.... I don't know.. maybe it's me... Uh-oh.. Duo's on to Quatre... Quatre better move fast!!(evil lilinpo) Sorry, Catherine didn't appear on this one.. But she will on the next one.^_^
Lilinpo