TITLE: Dark Sacrifice 33/36
AUTHOR: Cara & Quintus
E-MAIL: [email protected]
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: Pre-TPM, Jedi Apprentice, Original Characters
ARCHIVE: Yes. Please keep headers intact.
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars is the property of Lucasfilm Ltd. No copyright infringement intended, no profit is being made from this fiction. All original characters and story belong to the authors.
FEEDBACK: Constructive feedback appreciated.
TIME FRAME: Pre-TPM @ 1-2 years
SUMMARY: When Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan join a diplomatic mission to the planet Sahmly II, they uncover a strange vergence in the Force, centered around a young padawan whose actions may determine far-reaching changes in the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan’s decisions about the padawan could save the boy's life, or drive him to the power of the Dark Side.
DARK SACRIFICE
By Cara & Quintus
Chapter 33
Adin finished checking the pre-flight systems on the cruiser. "We are ready to take off, Master. You need to strap in."
Ak'ra Dushiko gave a nod and sank down in a jump seat. He pulled the straps over his shoulders and stared at the opposite wall. The droid dogs lay on the floor of the cramped cabin and watched him.
Adin radioed for permission to lift off, then concentrated on maneuvering the light cruiser out of the Sahmly City Spaceport. It wasn't until he was well away from the planet and plotting the jump to hyperspace that he spoke again. "There was nothing you could do, Ak'ra. It wasn't your fault." Adin glanced back. The Weapons Master still stared at the blanket wrapped figure under the medical Plas-dome.
"I am not wallowing in blame, Knight. Much…" Dushiko shrugged. "Rather, I am reassessing my actions to see where I was wrong, and how I could have prevented it coming to… this."
You blame yourself, and beat yourself up over it, Adin thought silently. Since Remii cannot forgive you, you are not going to forgive yourself. He removed his headset and placed the ship on autopilot, then rose from the seat and stretched by grasping ceiling-mounted handgrips. "Can I tell you something, Master?"
Dushiko gave a weary nod, and moved his attention from the still form of Remii to the Knight. "Say what you wish, Yeriamman."
“I’ve lost track of how many star systems I’ve seen; the ruins I’ve stood on and the artifacts I’ve recovered have honestly become a blur. Do you know why?”
Dushiko shook his head.
“Because those places and things pale in comparison to what I’ve seen and learned the past few weeks,” Adin said. "I've had to think about my own beliefs: not just as a Jedi, but as a man. Despite everything I’ve seen and everywhere I’ve been, I’ve never really had to assess myself. Somehow, I managed to pass my Trials without really being put to the test."
"This bothers you, Knight?"
"Yes, it is disconcerting,” Adin admitted. He glanced at Remii, eyes drawn to the pale face that showed no visible signs of life.
"Why?"
"Because a boy barely old enough to be a padawan has turned all my beliefs upside down. I was arrogant-"
"Yes, you were."
Adin gave a wry grin. "I've long admitted it to be a failing. It seems the Force took it upon itself to humble me in the most perplexing way possible."
Dushiko raised his eyes to meet Adin's. "The Force is a harsh master, much more so than I have ever been." He glanced back at Remii. "I could not even save the boy when he really needed me."
"The Dark Master-"
"That is not what I speak of! When Remii was about to die, it was Qui-Gon Jinn who found a means to save him."
"Master Jinn was not exhausted from battle, nor was he stressed from the events of the past few days."
Dushiko shook his head. "Qui-Gon was able to take over Remii's mind and force the bleeding to stop. If it had been me, Remii would have chosen to die. He hates me, and with good reason."
"He does not hate you," Adin said quietly. "On the contrary, he loves you, Ak'ra. When we say we hate something, we are only hating a weakness in ourselves that we recognize in others. You hate Remii's compassion, because it conflicts with your need to have control of all situations. Compassion opens the way for all kinds of other emotions." Adin gave a small smile. "Feeling compassion is not a failing as a Jedi, I don't think. Rather, it's how we act on that feeling that determines our perceptions. In the end, it was Remii's compassion that drove him to bind the Dark One to the land. Remii had the power to destroy the man utterly. But he couldn't. Just like his Master, Remii offered the Dark One a chance for redemption… He was taught well the ways of a Jedi."
Dushiko stared at Yeriamman. "You do not find me to be a coward, Knight?"
“No. On the contrary, you've shown me what courage truly is. If Remii had turned to the Dark Side, I don’t know what I would have done,” Adin said. “I don’t know that I would have had the strength to dispatch him as you were prepared to do. You did not let your love for the boy interfere with your duty as a Jedi. I think that is the test of a true master. I have learned more from you about myself than I ever believed possible. For that, I thank you, Master.”
With a sigh, Dushiko turned to look at Remii again. "I learned much also, Knight. I learned it is difficult to observe the darker aspects of one’s own personality, and that is what the Dark Side exacerbates.” Dushiko reached out a hand to touch the clear plas-shield dome. "I learned that caring for another human being- and caring well- may be the hardest thing in the universe. Now that I understand this, I may yet lose the boy. There is no guarantee the Healers can save him. Not if he does not wish to live any longer."
Adin rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. “Hurtful as it may be, matters are still fluid. It remains for Remii to sort things out for himself. The best we can do is to guide him through his recovery, to guide him away from dwelling on pain and anger and instead taking lessons from Sahmly Two and applying them in his own life as a Jedi would.”
“The path is Remii’s to take,” Dushiko agreed, turning his head so his face was half-visible over his shoulder. “How can you be so certain that he won’t succumb to the Dark Side?”
“There are no guarantees, my friend, only consequences,” Adin said, folding his arms across his chest. “Master Billaba taught me that first thing. Jedi must always remember that the Force can work in ways that are not easily understood. What I do know is that a boy managed to find the Force in a place where death was omnipresent, and that is an encouraging thought.” Adin heaved a sigh. "We have three days to contemplate the universe before reaching Coruscant, Master. I suggest you get some rest."
"I want to watch over him," Dushiko replied.
"Qui-Gon put him into a coma, you know he will not awake voluntarily." Adin said. He looked at the Weapons Master’s face and gave a small nod. "But I understand. I'll be in the cockpit if you need me." Adin swung through the opening, then turned back. "Even though he is unconscious, he can still hear you, Ak'ra. It might be a good time to tell him your thoughts… and feelings." Adin met the weary eyes of the Jedi Master, then gave an encouraging smile and closed the cockpit door.
~~~~
Coruscant
Master Depa Billaba watched impassively as the chamber doors opened to admit Qui-Gon Jinn, and her former padawan, now Knight, Adin-Duanath Yeriamman.
Jinn’s prematurely graying hair marked him as the eldest of the two Jedi standing before the Council. Depa could recall teasing Jinn twenty years earlier that his padawans would be the death of him. Jinn had smiled in that quiet way and remarked he only hoped he'd trained them well before his demise.
Depa thought of Jinn's words as she studied Adin-Duanath. She hoped she'd taught him well. Yeriamman was Depa’s finest student – she’d brought four to their Knighthood within the Jedi Order, and all were capable. But Yeriamman had been her favorite, despite the challenges. Adin had special gifts, gifts that had to be encouraged and developed with a fine hand. If anything, his gifts of foresight and Force-recall are formidable. It is perhaps fortunate for all of us that Yeriamman has the wisdom to be scared of his insights.
Depa glanced around the Chamber, and noticed herself being appraised by her own Master, Mace Windu. He rubbed his lips with a dark-skinned finger, glanced down at the alabaster floor, then looked at the Jedi in their midst.
Depa almost rolled her eyes; coming from someone with the Mark of Illumination, such a response would have been childish, but she’d discovered in recent years that she and her old Master had some fundamental disagreements over what constituted proper Jedi behavior. That led to disagreements over Jedi philosophy. Windu was a complex man, and Depa wasn’t sure if it was that she’d somehow misconstrued his teachings, or if Windu’s philosophy had changed, over time, or if she had changed. Depa loved her old Master as a teacher and always would, but he wallowed in the Jedi Code. To Depa, the Code was a very useful guide, but it had to give way to circumstances when demanded by the Force. Windu, and in fact most of the Council, refused to acknowledge that premise. As if the Jedi Code was the Force itself.
This particular interview shouldn’t have been surprising to the Council, but it was.
Jinn had been before the Council on a number of occasions to explain himself. For Yeriamman, because he dealt in secret missions for the Order or handled rare and even Dark artifacts and explored sites strongly associated with the Dark Side, practically lived his life on Coruscant in this-or-that Council chambers. Extensive debriefings were as much for Yeriamman’s protection as for the Order.
If there is rabble to be roused, it would be Jinn and Yeriamman who would do it. Depa bit back the smile that threatened to break loose at the thought.
The Jedi strode to the middle of the Chamber, and bowed deeply to their superiors.
“Pleased to see you I am, returned from your mission Master Jinn,” the diminutive green-skinned Master Yoda said. His eyes fell on Yeriamman.
“Thank you, Master Yoda,” Jinn replied. “It is good to be back on Coruscant.”
"And you, also, Knight Yeriamman."
"Thank you, Master Yoda," Yeriamman echoed. He stood casually, feet planted and arms tucked inside his robe sleeves.
Billaba could still read him easily. His mind was only half there, his thoughts dwelled with the boy, and the healing chambers. As they should…
“Many questions we have about the mission to Sahmly Two,” Yoda said, glancing up at Windu, his de-facto assistant and second in his absence.
“Your mission was to resolve internecine disputes among Sahmlian clan factions,” Windu said, “yet, the diplomatic mission led by Master Toock only barely managed to extricate itself from the fighting to negotiate a cessation of hostilities, all because of one stubborn padawan.”
Jinn glanced at Yeriamman, who shrugged. Depa almost smiled again.
“With respect, Master Windu,” Jinn said, “there were mitigating circumstances, namely the importance of the padawan to the Jedi Order.” Jinn paused.
“A padawan with a dysfunctional relationship with his Master,” Yeriamman added.
All eyes fell on Yeriamman, who didn’t bat so much as an eyelash.
“Knight Yeriamman, you are welcome here,” Oppo Rancisis, Jedi Commander and Guardian said, “however, please remain silent unless you are spoken to.”
Yeriamman bowed his head toward Rancisis, who didn’t look particularly mollified.
“I fail to understand the melodrama surrounding this padawan,” Windu said “The padawan may be a Healer, but he is not adequately trained. He should not have been allowed to heal, let alone disrupt the mission.”
Jinn opened his mouth, but didn’t get so much as a syllable uttered.
“Boy,” Yeriamman corrected, covering his mouth, and coughing into his hand.
Windu frowned, and glared at Yeriamman. “What?”
“Beg your pardon, Master Windu,” Yeriamman said, bowing his head slightly to Jinn, “and your pardon also, Master Jinn, but Remii Hajradurama is not just a padawan. He is also a boy. A child.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It is inconvenient I’m sure, but I respectfully remind the Council that Remii Hajradurama is a boy who is trying to become a Jedi,” Yeriamman said. “Remii's ability is considerable, but he is immature despite his natural healing skills. That shouldn't surprise us, because after all, Remii is still a youngling. Jedi needs demanded he become a healer, without thought to what the padawan needed. Regrettably, Remii's immaturity also impacted his relationship with Master Dushiko.”
“Our own counsel we will keep on how Jedi are trained,” Yoda said. “Trained a padawan, you have not.”
Yeriamman’s eyes rested on Yoda. “No, I have not had a padawan. According to the Council, there have been none suitable. In that judgment, we agreed. Until now. Remii was meant to be my padawan. He should not have been given to another."
Eyes blinked around the Council chamber. Yoda and Windu exchanged a glance; Rancicis looked distastefully at Depa, as if to say ‘see what your precious knight has done now’.
Depa ignored the glare. When the padawan is ready, the master will appear…
“That you have bonded with Hajradurama without authorization from the Council is yet a related problem,” Windu said. “Explain yourself, Knight Yeriamman.”
“We have bonded by the will of the Force, Master Windu,” Yeriamman replied. “That is authorization enough. There is nothing to explain. Complain about it if you like, but you will not be able to undo what is done.”
“We have forgiven your arrogance in the past, Knight Yeriamman, because of the truths you speak. But your words border on contemptuous, this we will tolerate not,” Master Yaddle said. “Remember to whom you speak.”
Yeriamman bowed his head toward Yaddle. “I do apologize for the…edge on my words. I let my concern for the boy override my judgment. I am feeling his pain. It is… discomforting."
Windu's eyes opened wide. "How badly was the boy injured?"
Now he asks, Depa thought, as if Yeriamman's bond was a fabrication, or less than Qui-Gon's bond with Kenobi.
"The boy lives," Yeriamman replied. "He will not lose his leg, or his eye. But he will be scarred. The healers fear more for the damage to his mind. The things he did should have been impossible for an apprentice. His mind coud remain spintered." Yeriamman paused to study the Council. "Bacta does not mute the mental anguish Remii feels. Master Dushiko remains with the boy to ease Remii's suffering the best he can. All we can do is continually reassure Remii that we do not hate him for the things he did. It might be enough to keep him from a psychological breakdown."
The members of the Council exchanged glances; a few had the grace to look disquieted by the news.
"The bond you made between Dushiko and Remii remains, but the bond made by the Force strengthens my dedication to Remii by the hour. I did not go to Sahmly with the intent of interrupting a master-padawan pairing. But I follow the will of the Force, as we all do. As the Force did not seek authorization from the Council on Remii, neither did I. I did what I thought was right. Having been corrected on this, then you, my Masters, will also know the depth of my sorrow and disappointment that you would consign a boy to the fate you did, to struggle along as best as he could, stuck in an impossible situation out of administrative convenience.”
“We have not-” Windu said.
“Haven’t you?” Yeriamman countered. “What in this bonding between Hajradurama and Master Dushiko has been successful, even by your own formidable reckoning, Master Windu?”
--Continued in Chapter 34--