TITLE: Dark Sacrifice  15/36

AUTHOR: Cara & Quintus

E-MAIL:  [email protected]

RATING: PG-13

CATEGORY: Pre-TPM, Jedi Apprentice, Original Characters

ARCHIVE: Yes. Please keep headers intact.

DISCLAIMER: Star Wars is the property of Lucasfilm Ltd. No copyright infringement intended, no profit is being made from this fiction. All original characters and story belong to the authors. 

FEEDBACK: Constructive feedback appreciated.

TIME FRAME:  Pre-TPM @ 1-2 years

SUMMARY:  When Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan join a diplomatic mission to the planet Sahmly II, they uncover a strange vergence in the Force, centered around a young padawan whose actions may determine far-reaching changes in the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan’s decisions about the padawan could save the boy's life, or drive him to the power of the Dark Side.

DARK SACRIFICE

By Cara & Quintus

Chapter 15

The next day brought Obi-Wan more responsibilities. Again he went out into the city, this time with Saa Duut to gather information for the negotiators. When he returned Qui-Gon asked him to remain in the room with the Jedi and listen. The fascination wore off after an hour, and Obi-Wan was glad when mid-meal came, and Qui-Gon told him to go eat and take the rest of the afternoon for himself.

Obi-Wan checked the dining room for Remii but he did not see the young padawan. Questions to the serving staff were answered with a shrug. The servers did not look familiar, which would explain their reluctance to talk with an offworlder. Obi-Wan poked his head in the kitchen and saw Ga-Ree. He managed to corner the Sahmlian by the ready table.

"Have you seen Remii? The padawan?" At Ga-Ree's blank look Obi-Wan added. "The littlest Master Jedi?"

"Oh, that Master Jedi? He was here. He ate food Ga-Ree-Jen made special for him." Ga-Ree beamed, then looked nervously over his shoulder. "I have much work."

"Do you know where Remii went?"

"Gardens, always gardens," the Sahmlian said. "He finds himself there." He scurried away before Obi-Wan could ask him any other questions.

Obi-Wan sighed, and made his way out the back doors to the gardens. He wandered, not in the mood to actively hunt for the young padawan. Little Ri birds sang in the trees and bushes, their song always seemed to be further on. It reminded him of the music from Remii's flutepipe, the same lilting tune sounded from the tiny throats. Idly, Obi-Wan wondered if the birds listened to Remii play, and picked up on his song. Or if Remii's tune unconsciously echoed the Ri's melody. Once when he turned down a path and the birds stopped, he felt the urge to retrace his steps. The Ri birds continued their song, and serenaded him all the way to the entrance of a small meditation garden.

He stopped at the entry hedges and stretched out his senses. It was as he suspected, Remii was inside, along with the Knight, Yeriamman. Obi-Wan hesitated. He felt like an intruder into Remii and Adin's private world. It was for that very reason he stepped forward. He refused to let Adin make him uncomfortable around his friend.

A few meters inside the hedge, he stopped short. Yeriamman laid in the sapphire grass, shirtless, arms tucked behind his head. Remii knelt beside him, also shirtless in the Sahmlian sun. He had one hand on the Knight's bare chest, the other balanced on the Knight's thigh, and his eyes were closed.  Force energy hummed around the boy.

Obi-Wan froze in an agony of indecision. Intrude, or walk away? As Obi-Wan stared, he noticed Remii move his hand in a circle across the Knight's chest. Yeriamman said something, then gave a low laugh. It was the intimacy of that laugh that decided Obi-Wan. He moved forward into the garden. "Remii!" he said more sharply than he intended.

The young apprentice looked up with a start, and a range of expressions crossed his face, guilt and fear the most recognizable. He snatched his hand from the Knight's skin as if burned, and leapt to his feet.

"Obi-Wan!"

"What are you doing?"

"N-nothing… why?" Remii stared at the ground, unwilling to meet Obi-Wan's eyes.

Obi-Wan looked past him to Yeriamman. The Knight still lay on the ground, arms tucked beneath his head. His expression was peculiar, a cross between amusement and annoyance. 

"You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be doing… whatever you were doing," Obi-Wan said. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the youth.

Remii just stared back, cheeks flushed red.

Yeriamman sat up and rested his arms on his knees. "And what do you think he was doing that was so wrong, Apprentice Kenobi? Healing? He needs to learn. Would you rather he experimented on someone else? You, perhaps?"

Obi-Wan gave him a glare also, and refused to answer. He looked at Remii. "I thought we were going to practice our saber work some more."

Remii finally looked up. "You weren't here this morning. So I did stuff with Adin instead. He's teaching me, Obi-Wan."

Yeriamman got to his feet and walked over to Obi-Wan. "The flow of blood through the body can be traced in the Force, and manipulated. A small lesson, now finished. Remii and I were about to explore the Dllockian box again. You are more than welcome to join us."

"No thanks," Obi-Wan said curtly. He looked at Remii. "I am back, if you want to spar."

Remii dropped his eyes. "Maybe tomorrow." He glanced up at Obi-Wan from the corner of his eyes. "I want to explore the box. I'm learning from it."

Yeriamman moved up and put his hands on Remii's shoulders, kneading them. "You are welcome to stay, Obi-Wan. Perhaps we can talk about why you've decided to practice being a Master before your time. If you keep frowning like that, you will soon have more wrinkles than Master Yoda."

"Is everything a joke to you, Knight Yeriamman?" Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've got work to do." He whirled and stalked off, ignoring Remii's plea to stay. It took many circuits of the main garden path to cool his annoyance. Something was going on between Remii and the big Jedi Knight. He'd felt Remii's guilt and saw it written all over the youth's face. And then there was the way they touched each other.

Obi-Wan dropped down on a stone bench and blew out his breath. The intimacy of the way Yeriamman touched the padawan… and the way Remii responded bothered him. Remii was young, and naïve. He needed protection from those who would take advantage of him. Yeriamman was a bit strange as it was, who knew what ideas he could have picked up in his travels? Obi-Wan sprang to his feet and paced. Where did his responsibility lie? He couldn't just go to Master Dushiko and casually mention he thought Remii was having a relationship with the Jedi Knight. And what if Obi-Wan was wrong? From what he'd seen of Dushiko, the Weapons Master would punish Remii first, and ask questions later.

There was only one logical place to turn for advice: his own master. Qui-Gon Jinn would listen, and give him guidance. Qui-Gon would treat Obi-Wan's concerns with the seriousness they warranted. Obi-Wan hated to disturb his master's concentration at this delicate stage of the negotiations, but… it was necessary. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and headed for the Diplomatic Residence.

~~~~

Qui-Gon Jinn moved methodically through the immense Diplomatic Gardens until he felt the presence of the Jedi Explorer. A few twists and turns took him to the opening of a secluded meditation garden. Inside, a fountain gushed water over small weathered rocks, alien birds chirruped from the limbs of a short, red leafed tree. The lush, sapphire grass waved in an unfelt breeze. Beside the fountain, boots off and seated in a lotus position was Adin Yeriamman. His eyes were closed, but the minute Qui-Gon stepped onto the blue grass, Yeriamman spoke.

"What can I do for you this fine day, Master Jinn?"

Qui-Gon walked forward until he stood in front of the Jedi Knight. The man's eyes opened, revealing that curious blue, the same shade as the grass under his feet, and the hedges surrounding the garden. "I wish to speak with you, Adin-Duanath," Qui-Gon said.

"If this is to be a lecture, Master Jinn, then may I respectfully request we hold off? I have just found my center, and am loath to lose it."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Have you done something you feel guilty about, Knight Yeriamman?"

"You tell me."

Yeriamman made as if to rise, and Qui-Gon stayed him with a hand. "I did not come to lecture or make accusations. I merely wish to speak to you on a topic of mutual interest." Qui-Gon let himself sink to the grass, where he pulled off his boots and stretched out in the lush grass. The sweet scent of the flowers surrounding the fountain was pleasant, rather than cloying. Qui-Gon took deep breaths, letting the fragrance wash through his senses along with a healthy dose of Force energy. He immediately felt calmed. Meditation in his rooms couldn't compare to this. He watched Yeriamman out of the corner of his eye. The Knight sat and studied him in return, probing ever so gently. Qui-Gon allowed the slight intrusion. He would have done the same, under the circumstances.

After a few moments, Yeriamman said, "Remii Hajradurama?"

"Yes."

"Why do you seek my counsel on the boy? Surely you've formed your own opinions?"

'Opinions, yes. Insights, no," Qui-Gon answered. "What information I have comes to me through my padawan, not always the most objective choice. He is a levelheaded young apprentice, but he also feels passionately about his friends, and he feels passionately about his apprehensions. " Qui-Gon sat up to look the other man in the eye. "I understand you have been spending time with Remii. My padawan is ... concerned."

"Obi-Wan is always welcome to join us. I made the offer several times." Adin ran a hand through his shoulder length hair and shook his head. "Could it be your padawan is jealous? I know Remii looks up to him."

"While that certainly is a consideration, I believe Obi-Wan has outgrown petty jealousy. He is well on his way to maturing as a Jedi. The problem is more that Obi-Wan does not feel comfortable with the two of you. The way you relate. The way you touch. He was confused," Qui-Gon said carefully. "He believes there to be something inappropriate going on. He wondered at your intentions."

Yeriamman stared at the Jedi Master a long moment, baffled look on his face. "Relate? Inappropriate?" All of the sudden, he laughed. He put his head on his knees and laughed so hard he had a difficult time regaining control. He finally looked up and wiped a hand over his eyes. The charming grin came out in full.

Qui-Gon waited.

"You... you think." Yeriamman gasped, "You think I have a sexual interest in the boy?"

Qui-Gon considered him a long moment.

"You can't be serious. My sexual interests are human females, not Jedi boys," Yeriamman said. "Why in the worlds would you think I would be interested in seducing an inexperienced padawan learner?"

"I don't know what to think. I only know what my padawan told me, which is why I am here talking to you." Qui-Gon looked at him levelly. "Obi-Wan says you do an inordinate amount of… touching. Touching Remii."

"Of course I do. Remii needs to be touched. He's desperate for another's touch. Can't you see that?" Yeriamman looked at Qui-Gon's blank expression and sighed. "Or maybe you don't." He crossed his legs again and settled into a more comfortable spot, face taking on a serious guise as he thought. "Master Jinn, while Ak'ra Dushiko is an excellent swordsman, and a very competent master, his personality does not allow him to address the peculiarities of healers. If Remii were an ordinary padawan…" Adin picked a delicate seedpod off the blue grass and gently blew on it. It floated on the breeze, soaring and twisting until it floated its way back to the ground many meters away. "But he is not. Remii is a member of a very small group of padawani that need different handling."

"And you recognize what it is Remii needs while his master does not?"

"Yes."

"While I find your arrogance a bit startling, I do recognize that the boy has problems."

"All padawans have problems, Master Jinn. What Remii has are needs, and unmet ones at that," Yeriamman countered.

"On the basis of several short meetings, you recognized this padawan's needs and sought to correct that which Remii requires?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Yes."

"And you know what the boy needs because...?"

"I know because I've been there," Yeriamman said flatly. "I know because as a child I watched a fellow padawan submerge so far into what others wanted that he lost himself before being lost to the Light Side. The thing that made my friend special disappeared, as he became an opposing copy of his master. I will not just sit by and watch this padawan get the soul sucked right out of him. Dushiko wants to create another strong Jedi, an admirable goal in its own right, but in doing so, he takes the path of creating a Jedi in his own image. In other words, he wants to train Remii to be a Guardian first, and a healer second. That is the sure path to rebellion, at least with this child."

"The Council most likely tasked Master Dushiko with teaching the boy basic Jedi skills, there is nothing wrong with that," Qui-Gon commented, frowning.

"No, and in theory I agree," Adin said, "but the problem lies in the method. Remii will never be a Dushiko, no matter how hard he tries. Every failure damages Remii's self confidence and destroys his self esteem."

"Are you saying the fault lies in Dushiko?"

"No. Fault implies right and wrong, and I see neither in this case. We talk about the will of the Force, but when the Force speaks to Remii in a special way, we ignore it? And they call me arrogant?" Adin gave a half grin, which faded as he continued. "I've considered this for a long time, and today I think I've figured out the reason we lose so many potential healers. Healers are different, Master Jinn. I don't think any of you realize just how different."

"Enlighten me, then, Knight Yeriamman."

"Do not make fun of me, Master Jinn. It does not become a Jedi of your stature."

"I am not ridiculing you, Adin-Duanath. I am interested in what you have to say. I have long agreed that Jedi come to the Force by different paths. I have pondered the dilemma of why healers decrease in numbers also, and have reached no conclusions. I await your insights into the problem." Qui-Gon felt the feather light brush of Yeriamman's mind against his, checking his sincerity. Qui-Gon remained resolute. He crossed his legs and sank into an open, listening posture. He was more than willing to gain insight from a Knight, but the insights he wanted might have to be pried out of the strange young man. Evidently, Explorer Yeriamman was not used to being taken seriously.

Yeriamman nodded, mostly to himself. "You may not like what I have to say..."

"I seem to recall you mentioning that before. Not a great opening line when you want to impart knowledge to Masters or Council, Knight."

"Honesty is one of my faults, Master Jinn. I have to work hard to temper it with political veneer." Yeriamman sighed and rubbed his face with a hand. "This is what I have found in the short time I've been here. Remii is starved for affection. The lack is literally strangling his soul. It's not so strange a concept, once you think about it. Healers deal in balancing the Force, manipulating it to achieve their results. That balance is an integral part of what they do… and who they are. All this requires a tremendous store of knowledge, of various species and plants and healing techniques. I don't think any Jedi would disagree that Healers as a whole are very bright individuals."

Qui-Gon nodded. "Drawing on my own experience, I'd have to say that was true. My apprentice is quite impressed with Hajradurama's anatomy knowledge, although I cannot say about Remii, because my only contacts with him have been in the realm of the physical, an area where he is not particularly competent."

"He could be, but he is not interested in using his body as a Force tool. He is more interested in using his brain and Force-given abilities to help people." Yeriamman leaned forward. "When healers heal, Master Jinn, what are they doing?"

Qui-Gon was puzzled. "They use Force energy-."

"Yes, yes," Yeriamman said impatiently, "but how do they do it?"

A glimmer of an idea came to Qui-Gon. "They lay their hands on the person..."

"Right. They touch. Healers are very tactile individuals. They are also very giving individuals. They give and they give until they exhaust what made them give in the first place. It's this combination that can drive a padawan healer to abandon healing and turn to something easier... Like saber fighting."

"Are you saying that healing... drains them?"

"In a sense. They give out so much in their healing, that their personal balance has to be restored somehow. Master healers balance internally; they draw from the Light, they've learned. But padawans..."

"They don't get back as much as they put out." Qui-Gon tried to absorb what Yeriamman told him.

"Right. My theory is that physical contact is what restores their balance."

"Which would explain why you have been touching him."

"You make it sound so sordid, Master Jinn," Yeriamman raised an eyebrow. "Remii needs touch as much as he needs food and sleep. I hug him, I put my arm around his shoulders, and we did some wrestling. All good, clean, non-sexual kinds of contact."

"You must pardon my suspicions, Adin. There have been incidents of inappropriate relationships between padawans and those above them." Qui-Gon frowned. "I would not condone such an incident. Padawani should not be stripped of their innocence by those who know better."

Yeriamman gave a sharp laugh. "Masters never cease to astonish me. You are indignant at the thought of an inappropriate sexual relationship, but another master beats his apprentice and you condone that?" He came to his feet in one motion and put his hands on his hips.

"Master Dushiko claims that to be an isolated incident. An aberration."

"Master Dushiko is mistaken. I contend he has abused Remii on a regular basis for many months now. Unintentionally, of course."

"Be mindful of your words, young knight." Qui-Gon stood and faced the other Jedi. "Do not criticize the masters when you have not been where they are. Or have you raised a padawan I am unaware of?"

Yeriamman grinned bleakly. "You know I have not, Master Jinn. And I am not being disrespectful."

"You are being disrespectful to Ak'ra Dushiko, who is trying to make the best of a difficult situation."

Yeriamman's eyes narrowed. "And in one sentence, you demote Remii from a human being to an impersonal ‘situation.’" He ran a hand through his hair, and looked at Qui-Gon a long moment before speaking. "Think about it, Master Jinn. Being a smart boy, Remii creates these 'situations' to get his needs met. I never said that logic played a large part in this. It’s an administrative inconvenience I’m sure."

Qui-Gon paced back and forth as he tried to pin down what Yeriamman told him. The conclusion he reached was enlightening- and troubling. "Are you saying that Remii creates these...'situations'... or rather provokes Dushiko to that point... so Dushiko will hit him? Then regret it and perhaps make up for it? That any physical contact is better than none?"

"Give that man a seat on the Council," Yeriamman said. "When I said Remii was starved for touch, Master Jinn, I meant it. Desperation leads one to dangerous actions."

“Can you prove any of this?”

“Can you prove I’m wrong?” Yeriamman countered.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know what you asked, Master Jinn,” Yeriamman replied softly, “and I gave you my answer. If you elect not to believe me, then I wish you lots of luck coming up with your own theory.”

“You are arrogant,” Qui-Gon said. He placed his hands on his hips, mirroring the Explorer's earlier stance.

“So are you,” Yeriamman replied. “The difference is that you refuse to admit to the failing.”

Qui-Gon probed with his mind and sensed a depth of sorrow in the Knight that he did not expected.

“Master Jinn, I can see that you mean well, but you suffer from the same illusion as your peers,” Yeriamman said. He paced before Qui-Gon. “You believe that Sahmly Two is merely a diplomatic mission. You choose to ignore that which occurs within our small circle of Jedi because – for the moment – it is a trifle, far beneath the concern of the Masters.” Yeriamman continued, “It does not fit the parameters of the mission as dictated by the Jedi Council, as if the growing darkness on this world will somehow ‘take care of itself’ - as if the darkness on Sahmly Two fails to echo the growing darkness we all feel gathering in the larger universe.”

“It is not seemly to question another Master,” Qui-Gon replied as Yeriamman stopped in front of him, within arms reach. “How one chooses to discipline his padawan is his business. I will not impugn the reputation of Master Dushiko on the basis of innuendo.”

“We do not know what to think of this larger darkness,” Yeriamman replied, brushing aside Qui-Gon’s words with a hand, “and so we wait to see what transpires, and paradoxically ignore concerns closer to home that should be of equal import.” Yeriamman shrugged. “You have agreed to concede the field before understanding the true nature of the contest before us.”

“I have done no such thing,” Qui-Gon said with a frown. “What contest?”

Yeriamman took a half step forward, until he was within Qui-Gon's personal space. “You have conceded. When bureaucracy becomes more important than the welfare of another-one of our padawani at that- how can it be otherwise? Perhaps you do not believe this is the case, but you will learn otherwise, Master Jinn, much to our collective sorrow.”

Qui-Gon felt steely determination from Yeriamman, which impressed him, but it supplanted a well of sadness also, something that he was unable to fathom. “Ah. You have seen the future?”

“I have seen a future. Do you remember our discussion in the kitchens with Obi-Wan?”

Qui-Gon nodded, not terribly anxious to repeat the earlier conversation. “I understand your implication. What did you see?”

“It is not a matter of what I’ve seen,” Yeriamman replied. “What I’ve seen has been seen for generations, Master Jinn. Master Yoda seeks to cross-train his most promising Masters and Padawani in order to preserve skills and knowledge that are slowly being lost.”

“I know that,” Qui-Gon retorted.

“But, why are those skills and abilities being lost?” Yeriamman asked. 

“The growing darkness you just alluded to, Knight,” Qui-Gon replied patiently, not understanding the satisfaction that inexplicably shone on Yeriamman’s face. He studied the man before him. Qui-Gon’s eyes opened wide as the implications of the Explorer's words sunk in. “Skills are being lost to the growing darkness. That is why the numbers of Healers have been dwindling in recent generations, isn’t it? The answer has been in front of us and we haven’t seen it!”

“Yes. Galactic conservation of energy. These conclusions cannot be easily proven, but my antecedents and I reach the same conclusion: all paths lead back to the growing darkness in the universe, and there happens to be a portion of that darkness here on Sahmly Two,” Yeriamman said. “What is occurring between Master Dushiko and his padawan is not just a diplomatic issue, it is something that is increasingly at the center of local happenings, a microcosm of what is happening in the larger universe, and somehow intertwined with the darkness on Sahmly Two for reasons I cannot see clearly. I sense an agenda, but I do not know whose agenda it is. What I do know is that unless we act from within, Master Jinn, I see nothing but a grim outcome.”

“Will the loss of ability affect us?” Qui-Gon asked.

“It probably already has in ways we do not yet fully understand,” Yeriamman replied, “If you choose not to pursue this matter of Master and padawan, then I’d advise you convince your peers to pursue it if only to find out more about that which threatens us all.”

Qui-Gon sighed softly and clasped Yeriamman’s shoulder. “I can see that you are often underestimated, Adin-Duanath. Nevertheless, I have heard you, and I agree with what you say. We must talk with the others.”

"Will tonight be soon enough? I promised the boy I would meet and listen to him play his flutepipe. I dislike breaking promises, especially to a child. Especially to this child. He needs me."

"It may take me longer than that to sound out the other Masters," Qui-Gon said, "Negotiations do not leave much time for additional problems, I'm afraid. I will let you know when we can all meet."

Adin inclined his head. "I will leave it in your hands then, Master Jinn."

--Continued in Chapter 16--