Funny Quotes From Funny People!

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"Is she Catholic? 'Cause she's really good at pissing people off and then apologizing after..." -Lily

"I wonder when Smurph cut all his hair off... and gave it to Hank!" -Amy

"You called me Dugan..." -Dani

"First one done! Do I get a prize??" -Amy

"Don't step in the ravioli!" -Amy

"Booby whacker!!" -Lindsay

"Lindsay is knocking her boobs against my arm while humping my leg gently." -Dani

"I'm sorry, I prefer the penis..." -Lindsay

"Oh, you're from Canadia, Eh?" -Armen

"I speak American, no wait, it's english isn't it?" -Sara

"No. I speak American, there ain't nothing proper about it!!" -Dani

"HEY NEXT DO-OR!!" -Travis

"Stop wheezin on my grind-age!" -Pauly Shore

(Clap, clap)"Attention kwass..." -Amy

"It only hurts when you cry" -Vertical Horizon

"Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong." -Unknown

"Oops, wrong butt-in!" -Pauly Shore

"That's not funny" -Megan

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." -W.C. Fields

"Ow, my pancreas!" -Pauly Shore

"Use some crackly" -Pauly Shore

"Follow the weasel, Link-age" -Pauly Shore

"I'll be ba-ack!" -Pauly Shore

"I'm a unique weasel... AWOOO!!" -Pauly Shore

"I think your mom's kinda mad 'cause I snaked the last bagel." -Pauly Shore

"She saw through me like thinly sliced turkey" -Lindsay

"You would never cheat on me for someone with an IQ would you?"
-Linds pretending to be *tarnished*

"I hope you don't have gonasyphaherpalis" -Dani

"I thought we had something special.... maybe a special connection...
through the @$$... I mean..." -Linds

"Playgirl lied to me and told me that men are from Mars and women are from Venus...
I can't picture myself coming from a razor!" -Linds

"Does that mean I come from a candy bar??" -Dani pretending to be Mr. F*ckhead

"I think so because I could just eat you right up!" -Linds

"You are soo cute and stupid...kinda like a baby cow" -Dani

"I would smoosh my face in cow patties for you!" -Linds

"This line stinks like Dick Clark, minus the Clark!" -Jimmy Pee

"Kitty porn? He looked up pictures of cats?" -Josh

"No Josh, KIDDIE porn not Kitties!" -Dani

"Wow, I was gonna say...he musta been really fucked up!" -Josh

"Aw, I almost made it..." -Linds and Amy

"Eh bee cee dee Ee Ef Gee Aych eye Jay Kay f l n o pee Cue Are Essssssss-ss
Tea You Me Double U Ecks Why? Zeee" -Lindsay's 'phoenetical alphabet'

"We gotta go get tested for birth control" -Dani

"I hate small pets 'cause I feel like I want to throw 'em..." -Dani

"So she's a mud puddle?" -Dani's mom

"JEEP JEEP!" -Dani

"It's like a giant enema" -Lindsay

(excitedly) "Dude... there's underwear in my pillowcase... it's clean though!" -Dani

"Neanderthal... neandershort..." -Lindsay

"She smacked me in the crack with that!" -Dani

"Oooooh, that was my crevace!" -Amy

"Do not grab my wedgie wear!" -Lindsay

"Your winky makes me smile!" -Lindsay

"Holy f*ck... is that when the pope gets it on?" -Dani

"Wow, my neck is really kinda knotty..." -Dani

"I hurt my IQ" -Lindsay

"Pinkle!" -Megan

"I went BOOM and it went WOOSH!" -Meg

"You gotta know how to play poker before you can poke her..." -Dani

"Are you going to the raaaaaper?" -Megan

"And I'm a DUDE!" -Jimbo

"For not knowing anything about anything, I sure know a f*cking lot!" -Dani

"Where was it?" -Dani asking about Josh's card

"Underneath the skittles..." -Josh

"Is your hand getting tired?" -Dani to Amy

"Not if I keep rotating..." -Amy answering Dani

"Burb" -Megan

"Dugan, you can fit three people in your hole!" -Amy

"Wait, if you have phone sex does that count as oral?" -Dani

"I don't know why I thought that wouldn't hurt" -Megan

"Wanna watch some Pauly?" -Dani

"Shore!" -Amy

"What kind of joose?" -Dani

"It's multiple berry..." -Steve-O

"Write that down..." -Dani

"They have E's on them!" -Dani

"The body's in my drawer..." -Megan

"I think I'm gonna write that down" -Isaac

"Hey buddy" -Isaac

"Mamasita's boring" -Isaac

"Downtown bar street..." -Meg

"I like to make the monkeys scream..." -Amy

"We should probably have sex now... with screaming monkeys" -Lindsay

"Stop it..." -Steve-O

"Steve-O on shit" -Dani

"Sometimes it sneaks up on you..." -Steve-O

"Sploogered" -Meg

"You can't touch it, you just have to blow" -Steve-O

"My titty dripped..." -Meg

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