2) TLC tribute: MTV payed tribute to the late, great Lisa Lopes at this year's VMA's. Chilli and T-Boz broke down and moved me to tears. And unlike last year's tribute to the late, great Aaliyah, nobody missed any cues.
3) P. Diddy's performance: There's one artist who usually does little for me, but tonight I was impressed. The young kid dancer up there kicked ass. During the show I mentioned that I was worried about him, with Michael Jackson there and all. However, I felt better when Tim (my partner) noted that he could probably kick MJ's ass. He probably could.
4) Jack White from the White Stripes accepting an award from the Olsen Twins, and dryly exclaiming, "Thank you, Mary-Kate and Ashley!": 'Nuff said there.
5) Christina Aguilera getting back at Eminem in the world's skimpiest outfit: Remember J. Lo's outfit from the 2000 Grammys? Ever wonder what happened to the rest of it? Well, Christina Aguilera apparently found it in the trash, added some stonewash denim to the fabric, and wore it to the VMA's. As she presented the Best Male Video award, she opened the envelope and said, "Mm, interesting....Eminem." This was right after Triumph the Comic Dog grilled Moby on being dissed by the big E, and then tried unsuccessfully to get any commentary from Eminem. So by this time Eminem was PISSED!!!!! He skulked onstage, and Ms. A. looked like she was going to drop the Moon Man...she was really messing with his head. More on that in the
Come to think of it, what was the big problem? The only reason E has a problem with M is because M called E's lyrics "mysogonistic"...which they are!!! I did notice that Eminem was more buff than a West Hollywood gay pride float. Maybe he's on a lot of creatine (which are kind of like steroids that you can buy at GNC)...that can make you really aggressive.
2) Pink accepting her VMA s**t-faced: America's hippest 21-year-old pop queen was carried up to the podium, apparently for a lack of being able to walk. She did say something really cool, though...A while earlier, I had said something like "Shouldn't the Moon Men go to the folks that directed the videos?". Pink's acceptance speech became coherent for the moment it took for her to explain that the director should come and accept the award because "I don't really make videos". That was cute, but if that had happened, Pink wouldn't have had her Behind The Music Moment.
3) Nelly presenting an award with cocktail in hand. His sludgy pink drink was almost empty, and Nelly seemed to singlehandedly turn co-presenter Kelly Osbourne green with his icky, pukey, alcohol breath. And Kelly wasn't having it in the first place. I could see her thinking, "What a f***ing b**tard lot of f***ing amateurs!"
My friend's sister is friends with Nelly. When my friend was going to hang out with them one day, I asked her to ask Nelly if he was aware that in certain circles his name meant "really femmy gay guy". She laughed, but said she probably wasn't going to do that. (She didn't) Could you imagine being a talented and famous artist, only to discover your name means something that you are most definitely not? Perhaps ignorance is bliss in this case.
4) David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar presenting an award. I have a feeling that sometimes MTV will feel sorry for washed-up old dinosaurs and give them a break. Especially the ones who are making blatant fools of themelves. I was half-expecting Sammy Hagar to say 'CABO WABO' in his rocker-banshee scream. And...poor David Lee Roth. In a leather bell-bottom pantsuit open to the navel, a frilly lady's scarf, and the worst (and quite possibly the first) heavy metal combover ever, he looked like the bastard love child of Robert Plant (25 years from now) and Madame. I bet he's a hit with the alcoholic 47-year-old ex-rock groupies.
5) Michael Jackson accepting the Artist of the Millenium Award: I am guessing that this is the last award he can win in his lifetime. Wait a minute...news flash...he DIDN'T win the award because he MADE UP THE WHOLE THING!!! The award was invented by MJ himself. Hey, Michael, what's with the gold shin-length kneepads? Are those for when you fall back to reality? Or did you just find yourself a really tall middle schooler? I will guess that he requested Britney Spears present the award wearing that gay biker outfit she had on.