He or she can come in all kinds of forms. He may be the guy at the office who takes your brilliant idea, puts his name on it, places it on his nose, plants it firmly inside the boss' behind, and wiggles until he gets a treat. Or, it could be the 'friend' that hooked up with your ex...three days after you were dumped by that particular ex. Whatever the reason, that person is there in your life!
First of all, it's EXTREMELY important to remember the following: in the big picture, these people will really not have any lasting impact on your life (other than an initial feeling of violation and the slight loss of trust in people in general). If you live in a big city like I do, these folks will go in and out of your life until you learn to stop inviting that element into your life. Keep in mind that people who steal do so because they need to (or because they have some sort of psychic kleptomania). They feed not off your food, but off your soul. Remember, you are stronger and smarter than they are, and in the long run you will prevail. And if you simply ignore them, they will eventually go away.
What if things happened to escalate to bigger proportions? What if said person can't quit when he/she is ahead and is not going away as quickly as you would like? Some of us do our best to take the highest road possible, but even the most patient human beings alive can be pushed to devise the ultimate mission of vengeance.
Now, please don't anybody go on any sprees of violence. The passive agressive approach is probably the best approach. Here are some fun things to do:
1) If publicity is what they're after, then give them publicity: Create a flyer with the person's name on it in big, bold, block letters. It can say something like "<name> is a liar", "<name> is a thief", "<name> stole my man", etc. Word it to your liking (just remember to keep it truthful...no more level-sinking than you've already done). Add a brief blurb (and, if you're feeling more adventurous, a photo) explaining why this person deserves such scandal. If he/she smells funny, be sure to point that out in order to give due warning. If you're really motivated, you could (and really should) even include proof that said person is a poser. Maybe you could get something they wrote and show how they write "your" where a "you're" should be, or "to" where "too" should be. Then, print about a thousand or so copies and post them in various spots across town. It's best to do so where the snatchy little vampire can see them...post them around his/her neighborhood, workplace, hangouts, and all of your local shopping malls. Maximum concentrated exposure is key to get your message across. If he/she is religious, post around their place of worship. If it is a heavy drug user you're dealing with, post in an area of high drug traffic. You get the picture. And, if that doesn't work...
2) Start crashing any parties which he/she goes to. This is actually a well known practice for these folks, only they're not used to being on the receiving end of it. Show up in the most drunk space you can tolerate, be really loud and obnoxious, spill a few things, insult whatever music is playing, and go on and on and on about how you and <name> are the bestest of buddies and have such a rich history together.
That should work quite well if the publicity trick doesn't. By now, your incubus or succubus should be packing for a permanent trip to a new town, city, or country. But...if you're still getting trouble and it's two whole weeks before the B.S. ends...
3) Throw a party in that person's honor. Make a really big deal out of it. Invite about 100 people, all of whom by now are really over this person and in on the joke. Splurge a little. Hire a band or a DJ. When it comes time to toast, get up and say "Goodbye, <name>. We're all SO sorry that you're not going to be around anymore. I can speak for all of us when I say there will be SUCH a huge void after you've moved away." Make it just a little bit sarcastic, and a little bit sincere. It should be just vague enough for the person to wonder what's really going on, but can't put a finger on why. Have more people get up and do the same thing. Then, send the guest of dishonor on a beer run, and make sure you and everyone else has left before he/she returns.
That'll learn 'em!
