What a load of crap.
Now, I'm not exactly a fan, but I do like to follow the news on a lot of celebrities that I know even less about. I do this mainly because sometimes I get really bored at work, and that keeps me occupied for about five minutes every day. I really feel sorry for what a lot of them have to put up with, especially when they're so young. Everybody needs to remember that pop idols as we see them are simply marketing tools, completely separate from the real human beings that they are when we don't see them.
So I guess I'm saying that everyone should just get over it. Leave Britney alone. Guess what? She smokes, drinks, sucks dick, curses, flips the bird, just like any other 20 year old straight female. Don't think she didn't know what she was doing when she did her "Baby One More Time" video, looking like she should be on the front cover of "Barely Legal Shaved Eurosluts" magazine. And I think that she has earned the right to do all of that and a lot more. I don't care if she has a kinky threesome with Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson at the VMA's. Just let her be.
I read the other day that she's going to take six months off to have "Britney Time". Bravo! Go, Britney, go!
I would love to have seen how that decision went down. Since I didn't, I thought I would do a dramatization, just for humor's sake. Since I don't know the real Spears family or their relationships to one another, I'll base it on an episode of MTV Diary I saw last year when my buddy Donovan came over and we all got blitzed and watched things I would never watch under normal circumstances.
I can just see Britney fighting with her folks over free time:
"Mom, Dad, It's been four years since I had a vacation. I'm done for now."
"But Britney, you've only made $25 million this year! How will Granmama eat? Do you want her back in Kentwood eating cat turds?"
"Mommy! Granmama is just fine and always has been!"
"Britney, don't talk back to your mother!"
"Shut up, Daddy, you creepy bastard! I'm a grown woman now and I can do whatever I want to do!"
"Sugar, we talked about calling your Daddy a creep, only I get to do that. Besides, you're not a girl, but not yet a woman."
"Mom, please. That song is more tired than gay disco. Besides, you two have Jamie Lynn as your new cash cow. It's not as if you need me anymore. I'm gonna be a punk rocker and kick your freeloading asses out of here. Then I'm going to move Kelly Osbourne and Mandy Moore in and we're gonna party our l'il tootsies off!"
"Shug, you know that's not at all..."
"QUIET! Britney has spoken!"
It probably didn't go that way, but I just think if she used her potential she could be her generation's Madonna. Hopefully, after her Britney time, she'll begin to move in that direction.
Britney has spoken!"
