See Chapter One (A) for Disclaimers
By Marinde's figuring, the siblings had been given plenty of time. She could tell from Tao's expression that he was getting impatient as well, and finally, Marinde blurted out, "Okay, let's go . . . they've had plenty of time to catch up or whatever they're doing!"
"They won't be happy to see us," Tao warned and Marinde just tossed her head. It wouldn't be the first time she and Carrin had gone 'round about something, and she was sure it wouldn't be the last. But she had some things to say to Dar, and to Carrin.
"So what? Do you really have so little faith in the BeastMaster that you think he'll turn against you now?" she asked in exasperation. Tao's jaw tightened, and Marinde said slowly, "You're serious. I haven't known Dar that long, but he's Carrin's brother. And I don't think he's that shallow."
"I kept this from him, a secret that I still don't like keeping. I don't like hiding things from Dar . . . and especially not in a situation like this! As soon as I realized that Carrin was Mira, all grown up, I should have told Dar," Tao answered angrily.
"Curupira didn't want you to. And while I question her methods, she is a goddess. Besides, you still didn't answer my question. Do you really have so little faith in the BeastMaster, that you truly believe he would turn against you for doing as Curupira told you?" Marinde asked.
Tao didn't answer, and Marinde said softly, "I see. I won't tell the BeastMaster that his closest friend betrays him not with word or action, but with thought." Tao stared at her in disbelief, and Marinde continued, "Well, what else would you call it? You think that Dar would think less of you for your actions in this situation? That's insulting! I know that Dar thinks a lot of you. Yes, he teases you, but you give as good as you get. I've watched the two of you together, you're like brothers."
"But . . . " Tao began, and Marinde shook her head, silencing him once more. At least for a few minutes . . . as had been her experience these last few days, Tao didn't stay silent for long. Once more, he proved her correct by saying, "He thinks I'm weak . . . and he's right. I can't fight as well as he can. And . . . "
Marinde interrupted, "You know the real reason I never guessed that Dar was Carrin's brother? Because you act more like her than he does! " And it was true . . . Carrin often confided, in the early years of her marriage to Gereon, her fears that she wasn't good enough for Gereon. While those weren't the words which Tao had used, it meant the same thing. And Marinde knew it was nonsense. "So you can't fight as well as he can. I put swaddling clothes of babes on backward, and can't heal those I fight alongside. I just have different talents, and so do you. Dar told me about Ketzwayo's resurrection, and he told me that you saved his life. Twice."
"Now that's a frightening thought . . . someone who acts like me," Carrin observed dryly as she helped her brother back into the Great Hall. She said, "I'm sorry . . . for everything. Dar and I had a lot of things to sort out. Gereon and Ari, are they . . . ?" Her voice trailed off as she looked first at Marinde, then at Tao, then back again.
"Gereon is putting Ari to bed. I think she needs her mama right now, though. I can help Tao get Dar back the sickroom if you want to check on Ari," Marinde told her friend. Carrin nodded. She rocked up on her toes to kiss her younger brother's cheek, and tousled his hair.
"I need to make sure my baby is all right, and Gereon. I'll be back later, baby brother," she promised. Dar nodded then Carrin headed toward the suite of rooms where she, Gereon, and Ari made their home. Tao and Marinde began helping Dar back to the sickroom, accompanied by the animals.
~*~*~*~
The fire was still going strong in the fireplace beside Ari's bed. Gereon sat beside his sleeping daughter, gently stroking the soft dark hair back from her eyes. Despite Ari's best efforts, the little girl had fallen asleep shortly after their departure from the Great Hall.
Gereon had been grateful to that little favor. He was still reeling from the revelations, and didn't know how he could handle his daughter's questions. Didn't know what he should feel or think. He thought he had known Carrin, but what he had learned in the last few hours . . .
In his mind, Gereon understood his wife's choice to keep silent about the family she had left behind. But in his heart . . . how could Carrin have kept that from him? About her brother, about her tribe, about the years she had spent raising her younger brother after the death of their mother.
"She's asleep then?" his wife asked softly. Gereon nodded, and Carrin continued with a sigh, "I don't know if that pleases me or not. I know she was frightened. And I know that you're angry." Gereon didn't know how to react to that. His wife sank to her knees beside him.
"Why did you never tell me?" Gereon asked quietly. Carrin didn't answer immediately . . . just stroked Ari's petal-soft cheek tenderly. Gereon started to ask her again, but bit the inside of his cheek.
"I wanted to. Did you know that I tried to run away when I was twelve?" Carrin asked softly. Gereon shook his head, and his wife went on, "I got a good distance . . . until your foster father caught me. I never told Rudianus where I really got those bruises on my thighs."
It took Gereon a moment to understand what Carrin had just told him, then his blood turned to ice water. She continued, "I realized that night that there was no going back. Someone would always catch me."
"So you made yourself forget . . . until we married. Until our son was born," Gereon said slowly and Carrin nodded. He turned his head to look at her more fully, and saw for the first time the tears which once more streaked her face. He asked softly, "And when you decided to send an envoy to the Sula . . . was that for the reasons you told me?"
"Yes. And yes, I did want to see if my family was still alive. But the Lothians attacked, and I was just glad to see Marinde and the others safe," Carrin answered. She sighed, closed her eyes, and bowed her head. Someone who didn't know her might have thought her weary. Gereon knew better.
His heart ached for her all over again, but he made himself ask, "And this time? Did you know that the BeastMaster was your brother?" She shook her head and Gereon asked, "Why not? He had the same name as your brother, why did you never consider that he was the same boy?"
"Oh, I considered it. But . . . it hurt too much. Then came the feast, and I had to re-live that night. But it was worse . . . .this time, I saw the hunter who would have gotten Dar, if not for Pelagia," Carrin replied. She sighed, then looked at Gereon, adding, "And it was really worse for Dar. He believed for so long that he was responsible for what happened. That's a terrible burden for a child to bear."
Gereon would worry about Dar later . . . for now, he asked, "Are you all right?" Carrin nodded, giving him a tired smile. He would have said more, but he saw a familiar figure shadowed in the doorway. He kissed his wife's forehead and told her, "I'll be in our chambers." Carrin looked up, then nodded, and Gereon left the women alone.
"How is Dar? Is he asleep yet?" Carrin asked her best friend as Marinde entered the room. The blonde girl nodded, and Carrin continued with a sigh, "Good. If you'll help me up, we'll continue this elsewhere. I have a good idea what you want to say to me. And Ari needs her sleep."
Without a word, Marinde gave Carrin her hand, helping the young queen to her feet. Young. Now there was a lie worthy of Zad. She hadn't been young in a long time. The two women walked slowly from the room, then Marinde asked, "Are you all right?"
"Of course. I'm not the one who . . . " Carrin began, then shook her head. She stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to face her friend, and said, "I'm not all right at all. I'm not sure if I know what that means any more." She raked her hand through her hair.
"Why didn't you know that Dar was your brother?" Marinde asked. Carrin gave a half-laugh . . . here they went. The younger warrior blurted out, "I mean, come on! They have the same name, they're the right age . . . how many Dars can be running around?"
Now Carrin did laugh, thinking of her brother and her son. Marinde rolled her eyes in annoyance, and Carrin said seriously, "I couldn't bear to be wrong, Marinde. To believe I had found my brother again, only to be wrong . . . it would have hurt too much. I had lost my brother twice."
"But you weren't wrong. You were right," Marinde said quietly. Carrin nodded. Yes. She knew that. Now. Marinde put her hands on either side of Carrin's face, telling the queen, "You have your brother back, Mira of the Sula. And you will never lose him again." Carrin smiled faintly. Dar had said the same thing.
After a moment, Marinde continued, "Carrin, there's something you must know. I questioned the Lothian. "That ambush was no fluke. The only accident was that it occurred on our land." Carrin raised an eyebrow. Oh really?
The more she thought about it, however, the more she saw her friend's point. That wasn't like the Lothians. Despite their association with the Terrons, they held Curupira in awe. And they would have known Dar was the BeastMaster.
"Then something very strange is going on. Who helped the Lothians? The Terrons? No, that would require too much intelligence. Zad is merciless, but he isn't particularly bright. Or subtle," Carrin observed, then added, "I'm half tempted to use Lothian tactics against him. He wouldn't expect that from us." It was the Lothians' belief that the Varoni were weak, since they were led by a woman.
"What, put him in a pit with Ruh?" Marinde asked and Carrin nodded. The younger woman said, "I don't think that would work anyhow. Ruh doesn't seem to want to leave your brother's side. He followed Tao and I when we took Dar back to his room. That reminds me . . . ?"
Carrin looked at her friend questioningly and Marinde asked softly, "Did you want to stay with Dar a while? I can go back and sit with Ari . . . maybe tell Gereon that you'll be back once you've stayed with Dar for a few minutes." Carrin needed a moment to make her decision.
And it was confirmed when Marinde added softly, "I think you both could use this time. Gereon still has much to accept. And you need the time with your brother." Carrin nodded in acknowledgement. Yes, she did. Needed to reassure herself that he was real, that she hadn't dreamed the last few hours. Needed to finally forgive herself for leaving him behind, all those years ago.
They had reached Dar's room. Without a word, Carrin slipped away from her friend's side. Her brother slept peacefully, with Ruh keeping watch over him. Carrin slowly advanced into the room and sank to her knees. She told Marinde, "Increase the patrols along our border to the Lothians. I want to know if they have a new ally."
Marinde nodded and silently left the room. Carrin turned her attention back to her sleeping brother. He seemed so very . . . young. Carrin wondered if his sleep was troubled by nightmares of the day their tribe had been slaughtered, for Carrin knew that she would have nightmares.
But for now, she began singing softly as she took her brother's hand and pressed it to her cheek. Marinde was right. She finally had her baby brother back. And Carrin would move heaven and earth if it was necessary, to make sure he was never taken from her again.
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