Disclaimers: BeastMaster characters and concept are property of their creators. No copyright infringement intended. Original story is property of the author.
Spoilers: "Circle of Life." Rating: G.
Author's Note: Don't ask how this one popped into my head. You don't want to know. Come to think of it, neither do I. But I'm fairly sure it wasn't (entirely) my fault.
Housekeeping
© 2000, Grace Macy
The Ancient One stormed into his caves, bellowing in fury. "KETZWAYO!!!"
The imp materialized from behind a corner, bowing and scraping. "Yes, oh great and powerful---"
"Save it!" the Ancient One snapped. "How do you explain this?!?" He pointed to the crystals in the left side of his forehead.
Ketzwayo frowned. Now that his master mentioned it, the crystals did look a bit . . . odd. Cloudy, with bits of what almost seemed like dust clinging to them. Ketzwayo swallowed. Oh. Dear. "Ummm . . ."
"Welll?" the Ancient One drawled, his eyes narrowing. "I am waiting."
Ketzwayo hedged. Ever since the Ancient One had wangled his servitude away from Red Eyes, the imp had been trying to keep house as best as possible. But this wasn't his province, damn it! "Um, well, you see, oh great and powerful---" The Ancient One advanced, glaring warningly. Ketzwayo swallowed and rushed out with, "It was on sale!"
The Ancient One advanced more, sending Ketzwayo stumbling backwards. "What was on sale?" he fumed ominously.
Ketzwayo answered in a very small voice, "The cleaning solution. Super Shine."
The Ancient One growled. "Super Shine?!" he repeated. "Did I, or did I not, specifically tell you to use only Ultra Clean Streak-free Windex?!?"
Ketzwayo winced at the growing level of his master's voice. "Um, yes, but -- well -- oh great and ---" The Ancient One growled; Ketzwayo gave up. "What did you expect, anyway?" He placed his hands on his hips defiantly. "With what you give me for groceries? It was either the Super Shine or no floating jelly beans for desert, and what with eyes of newt being out of season -- at least with Curupira still mad at me ---"
He stopped and glared fiercely at the Ancient One. "Do I LOOK like a household imp to you?" he demanded. "NO! I'm a magic-using imp! I'm supposed to be wreaking havoc on humans and virtual communities, wrecking email and the such! Not keeping house for some plastic-surgery-loving sorcerer-king who can't remember how to use a comb and----"
The Ancient One raised a hand. Oh hell. Ketzwayo sighed mentally in anticipation.
ZAP!
The Ancient One grinned fiercely down at the mark of cinders. Ketzwayo could finish his complaint to Red Eyes. The Ancient One turned and snapped his fingers. A window opened in the air, filled with flowing clouds of strange and ominous colors. The Ancient One looked deep into it and called out imperiously, "I summon an imp of a ----"
"Please hold," a voice cascaded out of the boiling clouds. "All imps are busy at the moment, but your Nether-Realm business is important to us. Please stay on the mirror and your summons will be answered by the next available imp."
The Ancient One growled. Really, these crystals were more trouble than they were worth. I mean, yes, they were lovely storage space -- especially with the new AO-98 upgrade, but . . . . he HATED mirror-waiting!!
Crossing his arms and muttering dire promises against all and sundry, the Ancient One sat back against the air and waited, listening with a threatening countenance to the Musak. Honestly, the least they could do was give their callers some decent screams of the damned . . . . .