Disclaimer: the author and co-hort in lunacy disclaim all knowledge of the following which occurred during a lengthy discussion of Lindsay's character on Angel one evening. All characters were returned in a mussed but useable condition to TPTB (dragon waves at Joss and company). Not for profit (or prophet). (Librarian's Note to those who haven't read dragon's lurks: the 'sq addict', 'klingon muppet' and 'godzillaphile' are dragon's kids.)
Spoilers: Blind Date. No real details, mainly references and characters. Set 'during' Season 2 of Angel.
The Discussion:
Grace: I mean, really, if Lindsay was evil, would he give a s__t about those kids? Let alone enough to be willing to sacrifice his life to try to save them.
dragon: Nope. lindsay isn't evil, just -- easy
Grace: Exactly. So someone, please smack Angel.
dragon: ok, i'll smack angel.
"Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave
-- The Webs to Spiders We Should Leave?"
© 2000, dragon
Scene: Angel's office suite at the revamped (cringe at the joke) hotel.
Thwap! Angel flies backwards across the room and smacks into the wall.
Wesley and Cordy hold up score cards with numbers on them: 2 and 3.
Gunn looks long suffering and shakes his head as Angel pulls himself out of the wall.
Angel dives for dragon who folds out with a smirk and he hits the wall on the opposite side of the room.
Drusilla's in a corner, clapping in approval.
Darla's doing her nails.
Spike, on the chandelier, shakes his head and makes a smart ass remark.
dragon folds back in and bows to the applause from Wesley and Cordy.
Angel pulls himself out of the other wall, turns around and glowers at all and sundry.
Wesley, Cordy, Gunn, Darla and Dru form a line and conga out of the room.
Spike falls out of the chandelier laughing, landing on Angel.
Angel throws Spike off and gets up off the floor.
dragon winds up and THWAP! thends him flying out the door into the thunlight! (lucky for him it isn't sunlight or he'd be in trouble)
Angel staggers out of the wall across the street, falls on his face and lies there wondering why TPTB have sic'd this dragon on him.
Angel turns over on his back and looks up at what's her name the detective and shrugs his shoulders. She offers him a hand up and giggles madly as the hand comes off in his hand (the old fake hand in the sleeve trick). She ends up sitting on the curb laughing helplessly.
Angel begins to suspect he is trapped in the twilight zone on a very bent day
Dru and Darla, attracted by the laughter, collect Kate and take her shopping, totally ignoring that she's not a vampire.
Dru thinks she'd make a lovely vampire, but Darla says that only Angel can make Kate part of the family and only when he's atoned for his treatment of Lindsay.
Dru says maybe if he gets treatment it will work out. Darla and Kate look at her like "huh?" and she twirls merrily off into the next room.
Angel picks himself up off the pavement, scowls at Spike who is lounging just inside the door of the office (why now?), and walks back into the office, checking to make certain it is clear of dragons.
Out of nowhere, the sq addict appears with a cricket bat, soundly thwaps angel in the back of the head and folds out again. Spike slides down the wall laughing helplessly
The klingon muppet and godzillaphile fold in, hose Angel and Spike with their super-soakers filled with stage blood and fold out again.
At which point, Buffy and Riley walk in, take a look, shake their heads and walk out again voicing the opinion that Willow is really being wierd.
Angel rolls over onto his back again, stares at the ceiling and says, "Why me?"
Several hands raise to volunteer an answer
"Because you are being an idiot," Anya answers him, followed immediately by Xander's pointing out that it isn't necessarily politic to tell a vampire he's being an idiot.
And Tara walks over, hands Angel a card and walks out again.
Angel, totally bemused by this time, opens the card.
"Because Grace asked someone to thwap you"
Angel sets the card on his chest and stares at the ceiling again. "Who is Grace?" he asks.
Any number of helpful hands point to a gracefully catsuited young lady linking arms with Lindsay on one side and Spike on the other as they walk out followed by a really bemused conga line of Riley clones.
thud
Angel fights his way out of the tangle of bed covers and finds himself lying on the floor of his bedroom next to his bed.
Cordy and Wesley look in from opposite sides of the doorway.
"Er -- are you all right?"
"Bad dream?" Cordy asks brightly.
Angel lies back on the floor and wonders what TPTB are trying to tell him.
Raven the Cryptic folds in, stares down at him and grins with way too many teeth. "Look to yourself mirrored in today," she announces, stalks across the room and into a shadow, and vanishes.
the end
Librarian's note: I believe that last line was a reference to the suggestion made by dragon that Angel's dislike for Lindsay actually stems from the fact that Lindsay reminds him strongly of himself. We's deep. <eg>
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