Words Are Unnecessary

Part 5

By Corina

Golodhros slowly ate the cheese. He's right. It is better than any other cheese I've ever tasted…not that he had ever really paid attention to the stuff before. Before....

It had all happened so quickly. One day, he was just fine with the world. By the next week, he was in an intensive training program by his new, strange mentor and nothing was like it had been. I thought I was good, but Anarin…I don't understand how anyone could be as skilled as he is, not to mention that I've never even heard of an elven assassin.

Well, maybe he just hadn't heard of an elven assassin because Anarin—who was apparently the only one in existence—had perfected the "fine art of shadow-walking", as he called it. More than once, Golodhros had turned around to see that his teacher simply wasn't there anymore, only to have the elf poke him on the back and laugh at his surprise. In fact, moving almost invisibly was their first lesson. (The "fine art of enjoying cheese" was their break during said lesson.)

And then, the cheese was finished. Normally, Golodhros didn't like practicing something as boring as moving silently, but somehow…. Somehow, I don't mind when it's him teaching me. He wasn't even sure why, but he found it very difficult to think clearly when he was around Anarin. Is it his eyes? He had to admit to himself that Anarin's eyes were…well, the most beautiful, tortured eyes he had ever seen. It's like he's been through hell, yet…he's happy?

Golodhros shook his head to clear it. It's so hard to pay attention to anything...which was definitely a bad thing when you were trying to improve your skills.

Anarin had apparently noticed the same thing, because instead of going back to shadow-walking, he turned around and began speaking. "I notice you aren't concentrating. Why?"

Golodhros struggled for an answer that wouldn't embarrass himself. I don't want to lie to him, but I can't really tell him.... "I guess I just can't concentrate while I can see you--I mean, you're just so much better than I am, and I can't seem to really, well, do my best when I can clearly see that it's nothing compared to you--" which was the truth. Well, part of it, anyway.

Anarin smiled, though Golodhros thought he could see a bit of disappointment in the elf's eyes. "You flatter me. You're really not that bad, Golodhros." Gods, even the way he says my name.... "But if you insist, I suppose we could try a few blind fighting exercises, all right?"

Golodhros nodded. "Yeah, that would be better." I think. Silently reassuring himself that if he could neither see his teacher's beautiful body nor hear his smooth voice he wouldn't be distracted, he went into the practice room alone while Anarin rummaged around for a blindfold.

They were in Anarin's small suite of rooms. The Master Assassin got his own private training facilities, which Golodhros mercilessly took advantage of, much to his master's amusement. In addition, Anarin had three rooms for himself, a complete walk-in closet and bathing facilities, a guest room, and even a private dining room. Golodhros ruefully thought of his own, comparatively small chambers. It must be nice to have everything you want. Yet he knew that Anarin wasn't exactly happy. Nobody with those eyes could be happy.

His musings interrupted by Anarin's return, Golodhros noticed that the small cloth Anarin had found was, like most of the elf's possessions, black silk. Smiling, Anarin softly commanded his pupil to sit and then knelt behind him, tying the blindfold comfortably but securely around Golodhros's eyes. He rested his hands on Golodhros's shoulders for a moment, causing the younger man's pulse to mysteriously increase, and then said softly in elven, "We'll begin with just hands. I'm going to match my breathing to yours, so you shouldn't be able to hear me. Try instead to sense my presence through small changes in the heat and airflow, or by sensing my life energy--" He abruptly broke off, sensing somehow that Golodhros was confused. "Sorry. I guess I forgot for a moment that you're not—like me."

Golodhros was tempted to stop the exercise then and there to prevent Anarin from sounding so miserable, but he couldn't. I wish I could do something, but what? He can't possibly think of me in the way that I think of him.

*****

If only he thought of me in the way I think of him.

Anarin sighed and shook his head. "Are you ready, Golodhros?" Anarin didn't know if his student was ready for blind fighting, but he had supposedly had all kinds of training before he had been "recommended" to the Master.

"I—think so."

Anarin smiled, knowing that Golodhros couldn't see him, and slowly began to breathe to the same rhythm as the young human. Funny how I don't even think of him as a human most of the time. Well, he does speak my language--though Anarin was still not entirely sure how that was possible.

Inhale, and exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Anarin slowly rose and began to circle Golodhros, noticing the first small beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. He must be excited. Or maybe he's just nervous. Probably both.

It required almost no effort to breathe in sync with Golodhros, even when the younger man tried to trick his teacher by randomly scattering his breaths as he also rose and began to slowly turn around, seeming to sense Anarin's presence. Impressive. He seems to know where I am.

Anarin smiled savagely. But that's not enough.

His hand suddenly jumped out to Golodhros's back, only to be quickly blocked. Good. Then he jabbed at the younger man's leg, which quickly moved out of the way. Circling around for a few moments, he noticed that Golodhros was finally showing some concentration. Even better.

They continued for a while, Anarin slowly letting loose more and more skill until a casual observer would only have noticed a blur of cloth and flesh—not that there could be any casual observers in Anarin's securely locked quarters. Finally, breathing heavily in time with each other, Golodhros called a halt. Not really surprised—he hadn't had this good of a session for years—Anarin agreed. All that effort and I didn't even get in a single hit.

He decided to keep the smile on his face as he removed the blindfold, shaking himself back into his own breathing pattern once more and tilting his head to one side in order to observe his student's reaction.

****

Golodhros was amazed. He had never felt so—connected to anyone before. I didn't have any problems concentrating that time. None at all. It was almost—no, it was definitely easier to concentrate than it has been, even before I met him.

He could see that Anarin, too, was breathing heavily, though his teacher had had the presence of mind to sit down. He looked as if he were expecting some sort of reaction to the exercise.

"That was—how hard were you trying to hit me?"

Anarin smiled. "Oh, I did try harder near the end there, but I'm sure I could have hit you if I really wanted to. This was more of a sensory exercise. I must say, you've done much better than I expected you to."

"Really?" True, he hadn't really had a whole lot of experience fighting blindfolded, but Golodhros had tried his best.

"Certainly. Most people can't even move out of the way. You blocked me." Anarin smiled again.

Somehow I doubt that I could have done as well with anyone else, but...Golodhros decided that he should sit down, too. It's like we were one person for a moment there, when he was breathing with me.

Trying to pay attention to what his master was now saying but not doing so very successfully, Golodhros was glad that he had finally been able to concentrate in Anarin's presence. Still....

How long can I keep this up?