miles by: shelly

“Time may change yet true feelings would never fade. It is by destiny that you learn to love truly and though distance may keep us apart, memories of you would always be in my heart.”

          We used to be playmates in 6^th street when we were so young. We were full of energy to play at weekends whether a game of catch ball or a baseball at their backyard. We’re all kids who felt the same feeling of happiness and we spent good times with each other more often. I had 5 usual playmates, 3 guys and 2 girls. As a boy at that age of nine, I am not so bothered about my playmates’ inner selves. All I wanted at that time was to play with them. And who cares anyway? But among all of them, I liked most Leigh, that simple and quite weak girl from 8^th street. I used to catch her every time she falls from getting the ball. Even though it’s not often that she plays because of illness, I enjoy her company. That vision in her eyes that spells thankfulness every time I help her made me feel so worthy. In my arms, I felt the warmth of her touch and a simple glimpse of her smile completes my day. It was kind of weird for me to feel that way, I should say.

          Our usual weekend days of playing had a disturbance when Leigh experienced strong sickness and her dad has to fix the yard because the dust that it brings affects Leigh’s breathing. It was then I realized that time was so fast and I got over the stage of playing. I was in my first year of college then. My life had changed a bit. I did not know anything more about my playmates before. The only thing I knew was that Leigh is having a medication and not allowed to go out always. One day I passed by 8^th street and then I saw Leigh once more. I was surprised when she called me “Rob” because I thought she forgot me already. And since then I had a communication with her again. We talked about so many things, whether on the phone or when I visit her house, 3 hours was the minimum time of chatting! Then we both realized that things have changed yet the same old personalities were still stable. I never knew that it was so great to know more about Leigh’s inner self and not like before that I just long for a game with her. But now…I guess I long for her affection…

          Autumn is coming. It was a bit cold and through a call by Leigh’s mom, I knew about that she was brought to the hospital. Things got complicated weeks after and doctor’s findings says that her heart has to be transplanted. It was worse than I thought. She had to go to New York because a fine transplant can be done there. A week before Leigh’s flight, I visited her at the hospital. She was so pale yet that smiling face brought me to a fine feeling. Even though she’s in pain, she still taught me to be strong and I must not pity her she said. Then she told me, “Don’t worry Rob, I’ll be back here. We would still talk about anything. And by the way, your 21^st birthday is on January right? I’ll be there, I promise.” She just stared at me with that vision once more of thankfulness, the same as she always does when we were young. Sunday morning, they left.

          Life’s bitter without her and it was not in the vocabulary of my thoughts that I would be like that. But then she gave me the inspiration to live and be the best I could to help other people. She taught me stand at every fall. I really considered her as a very good mentor. The night before my birthday, I received an email from Leigh that she was so fine already. She had the heart transplant and she’ll be back. I felt excitement when I read that. I cannot wait for her arrival once more and I’m planning to tell that…I love her. I want to be with her forever.

          I was so busy during my party. There were a lot of people yet life seemed to miss something. Leigh. Few more minutes of sitting by the swing, I saw an unknown shadow by the entrance…and it was Leigh. Honestly, I cried for seeing her. We were apart for 5 months and 2 weeks yet it seemed that we’re apart for decades. I was about to speak and reveal my true feelings but then her fingers touched my lips to be silent. Soon she said, “I may have the heart transplant with a new heart yet the content of this still longs for you…It never changed at all since then. Even though we’re miles apart or time changed, you’re still the same old Rob. We would go back on our past days, soon you would realize that. I…” Suddenly Leigh fell! And I caught her from that fall. In my thoughts she was just alright! Her mom ran to me, sad but soon she smiled at me. I wondered why she had that expression.  She told me that Leigh’s life would not stay long anymore and this might be her end but she was happy for her daughter because Leigh reached here. She saw me the way she planned it and I caught her once more. The same as when we were nine, I used to catch her and I guess that was the thing she was talking about earlier about going back to our past. She died in my arms and a single tear fell alone in my eye. I wiped it off because there’s no reason to cry, knowing that Leigh is happy right now.

          After Leigh’s burial, I forgot about my apartment. It was a bit messy and as I fix it, I noticed my speaker phone with one left message. I listened to it and it says…”Rob I love you and words cannot explain how happy I was with you. Thank you. You need not to reveal that you love me, you had let me feel it. We may be distance away, but love cannot be conquered by any way…”