theartoflettinggo by: shelly

I end up crying most of the time, thinking of the possibilities of going back through time and teaching my young and stupid self to do my best preserving your presence...

After some time, I could not still accept that you are gone. I still believe that you’re also there, taking the same road that I took. Still, I know you are always at my side, comforting me when I am depressed, lifting me up when I am down, and guiding me in every step I take. To me, you are not gone but simply everywhere. I always imagine you and me, beneath the shadows of a beautiful summer time. Then you’ll slip away just like the air, facing the reality that I do not have you anymore. I know it’s time to let go. The world has left me, far beyond everyone else.

Am I ready to admit that I miss you so much?

Am I ready to say my last goodbye?

Am I ready to let you go at last?

These are the questions bugging my tortuous mind at this very moment, questions that I kept away for the past years simply because I was afraid to answer them. I am scared because I do not know what answers I must give, because I do not know whether there are answers to these nagging questions. In fact I am too scared to admit that you are gone, too scared that I won’t see your smiles anymore, too scared to face new life – to move on, and too scared because I never wanted to say goodbye.

At that very moment, I ceased to live because your love was the only thing that sustains me. I promised you that I will love you for the rest of my life. I became as if a dead person alive and I realized that I must free myself from the chains of that promise. I’m always trying to let go of you and nourish myself with the beautiful memories that we shared. Hoping one day, I can rise and recall, “Once I loved, and once too, I learned the art of letting go….”