Six Years On
Six years after my Dad’s death, I finally realised that although I hadn’t stopped loving him, or missing him, the pain had eased, and I could laugh about things we did together. Things like, Crosswords. My Dad wasn’t over smart, and when he did a crossword, if he couldn’t find the right answer, he either used to make them up, or squeeze the wrong one in. I don’t do them any more. It’s just not the same. I’m not angry at him any more, and I know he’s not angry at me, (though I’m sorry to say, Pop, I’m still single!) He used to nag me about getting married, but I’ve always been determined to stay single. I’m too selfish to share my life with anyone, and Pop always worried about me being alone. I’ve been house-bound for thirteen years now, and go from one month to the next without setting eyes on another living soul. I don’t live near enough to my siblings, and it worried Dad that I would have an accident, and there would be no one to help me. Well, Pop, as you can see, I’m doing fine. See you later. I love you. We have lost a lot more people since Dad died, including our Aunty Joan, who was like a mother to us. Heaven must be one big party now, Pop, eh? If you spend as much time alone as I do, why not e-mail me. I’m always happy to chat.
Six Years On.
By Amanda Jay Clark.
It’s been six
years since you left us now.
So much has happened since then.
I’ve started to feel nostalgic,
And can’t help remembering when,
You used to laugh about being the chief stoker,
In the boiler room down below.
At the time neither of us realised,
How soon you would have to go.
But, there’s no doubt whatsoever,
Of where you have really gone.
I’m sure that the angels welcomed you,
And God had the kettle on.
Nan, who died three weeks previous,
Will have been waiting in heaven for you.
I’ll bet you arrived just in time for a plate,
Of her famous breast of lamb stew.
And now that you have Aunty Joan,
Dave Freeman, and Gladys as well,
I’ll bet heaven is one long party,
Making them jealous as hell, in hell.
Life is lonely and too quiet down here.
Crosswords aren’t fun any more.
I have to fill in the right answers,
Instead of the wrong ones, as before.
I haven’t played darts since you went away,
And I can’t place a bet on a horse.
No one ever comes to Sunday lunch,
So I pig all the parsley sauce.
I go from day, to week, to month,
Without setting eyes on a living soul,
But I do my best to keep going,
By saying "It’s not so bad, on the whole."
Still, I’m looking forward to joining your party.
Till then, I’ll keep a stiff upper lip.
I’ll keep smiling, and try to be happy,
Until I can make my heavenly trip.
But I won’t cry any more tears, Dad,
That’s something the English don’t do.
I’ll pretend that the pain is over,
And that I have stopped missing you.
I’ll say that, "I mourned, let go, then moved on,"
That I’m now feeling A-Okay.
But you know down inside how I miss you, Dad,
And I think of you every day.
Six Years On, is protected by copyright, and remains the property of the author, Amanda Jay Clark.