'I am thinking of walking out on my wife. She seems to have lost all interest in me, and I am convinced there is no way our love can be restored.'

I then asked the group to write down what their response would be to someone who made that statement to them during the course of a conversation. Only five out of the hundred gave the right answer. The rest said things like: 'You must give it another try.' 'Have you prayed enough about the matter?' 'Don't you know what the Bible says about the subject of separation and divorce?' 'I believe you ought to see a Christian counsellor.'
If I had some deep personal problems, I would hate to be counselled by people who responded to me in that way.
Don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that there are never times when one has to lay down moral principles, or command a person to follow Biblically-based behaviour, or confront them with the reality of their lifestyle, but such judgements must never be the initial response to such a statement.
The five people who gave the right answer said something like this: 'Sounds like you feel pretty hurt and rejected at the moment.' 'I would imagine you must be feeling pretty desperate.' 'I think if I was in your position I would be feeling very frustrated.'