Your back goes out, but you stay home.
You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.
It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
Happy hour is a nap.
When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure that the street is still there.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
Your memory is shorter and your complaining is longer.
Your address book has mostly names that start with DR.
The pharmacist has become you new best friend.
Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
You look for your glasses for a half an hour, and then find that they were on your head all the time.
You sink your teeth into a steak --- and they stay there.
You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.
You give up all your bad habits and you still don't feel good.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.