Blonde Jokes

These aren't my own blonde jokes. I can't say that they are mine. You might have already heard them. They're quite funny.

Jigsaw Puzzle
Mail Box
Two Copies
Paint the Porch
First Class
Two Horses








Jigsaw Puzzle

A pretty young blonde was attempting to do a jigsaw puzzle and she was becoming very frustrated because she wasn't making any progress on it.

She called her boyfriend Tim, and started to cry as she told him about the puzzle.

"The pieces are all the same color brown and none of them fit together", she said. Her boyfriend asked her to describe the box the puzzle came in.

She told him it was a yellow box with a rooster on it.

Her boyfriend told her to stop her crying and put the corn flakes back into the box.

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Mail Box

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"

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Two Copies

A young blonde executive was leaving the office one evening when she noticed the CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my assistant has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," she replies, flattered that the CEO had askedher for help. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the START button. "Excellent!" replied the CEO, "I'll need two copies."

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Paint The Porch

A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money. So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman. She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door. She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted-how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage." When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it." About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there. She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats. As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche-it's a Ferrari."

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First Class

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

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Two Horses

Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of the blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of, the brown one or the white one?"

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