Truth or Dare in Hogsmeade

 

 

“There aren’t any embarrassing questions—only embarrassing answers.”

Carl Rowan

 

**

 

“We hear you haven’t been exactly truthful, Harry.”

 

Harry looked up from the sandwiches to find Fred looking at him slyly. 

 

“George had a very interesting phone call with Dudley—” Fred continued. 

 

It had been a fun morning in Hogsmeade.  Harry, Ron and Hermione had taken a walk around the village, in between stopping at Honeyduke’s for supplies of sweets and then The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer.  They were now in the backroom at Zonko’s Joke Shop, having lunch with the twins, and Harry felt decidedly uneasy at the sudden turn in the conversation.

 

“I telephoned Dudley at Smeltings,” George added with a smirk.  “Apparently he was at the Dursleys when Remus Lupin came to collect you.”

 

Harry swallowed, feeling the heat rush into his face.  He felt he should have known something like this would happen—that Fred and George wouldn’t have been satisfied with the reason Remus had given them, not without at least double-checking it first.  Glancing towards Hermione and Ron, he could see them both staring at him in surprise, and he tried to say that Dudley was lying, but he couldn’t speak.  The words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

 

“Don’t try to deny it,” George said, still smirking at him.  “I’m afraid we’ve slipped a truth or dare pill in your butterbeer.  You won’t be forced confess everything, like with Veritaserum, but you can’t lie.  Consider yourself a post-production test subject.”

 

At this point, Harry knew that the situation was now much worse than he realised, and he froze in his seat, clamping his mouth shut.  Having them find out about Dudley was one thing, but what if they asked him anything about the evening that had followed?  

 

“So why did you lie about it?” Fred asked.

 

At Harry’s continued silence, Fred narrowed his eyes and exchanged a glance with George.

 

“You wouldn’t have anything to hide, would you, Harry?” George asked, looking far too eager for Harry’s liking.   

 

“Please don’t do this,” Harry pleaded in a small voice.  He was too scared to even attempt to answer their questions—to give them a misleading, but truthful, answer—just in case something slipped out.

 

“Sorry, mate, but we have a duty to expose the truth,” Fred said with mock solemnity.  “But first I think we’ll just start with this…” He pulled out a piece of parchment from the inside of his jacket, and laid it out on the table.  “This is the transcript of George’s little chat with Dudley.” 

 

George waved his wand at the parchment, and said, “Exaudiri posse.”  The transcript fluttered briefly, and the sound of George and Dudley’s voices was projected into the room.  At that point, Harry felt somewhat grateful they were in the back room and that no one in the shop would be able to overhear. 

 

George’s voice was the first to be heard.

 

“Hello? Can I speak to Dudley please?”

 

“Yes.  What do you want?”

 

“First, let me introduce myself: my name is Frank and I’m Nymphadora’s elder brother.  I understand you’ve met her.”

 

“Er…”

 

“When she came to take that obnoxious prick Harry out for the day…”

 

Both Harry and Hermione gasped at this, and Ron sniggered.

 

“Intervallum,” George said, causing the parchment to stir once more before falling silent.  He turned to give Harry a cheeky smile.  “You understand that I had to win Dudley’s trust somehow, Harry.  It’s nothing personal.”  He then raised his wand, once more and said, “Continuare.”   The telephone conversation started up again.

 

“Yes, I met her,” Dudley confirmed.

 

“Needless to say, I’m not happy with him getting close to my sister.  I’ve threatened him and… you’re not friends are you?  I was of the understanding that you didn’t like each other.  Because if you do…”

 

“No.  I hate him.”

 

“Good.  You’ve got excellent taste, Dudley.  Now, what was I saying?”

 

“You threatened him.”

 

“Oh yes, thank you.  I threatened him and told him to keep away from my sister: she’s too good for him.  And I told him that if he wants to avoid being beaten to a bloody pulp, he’d better remember that.”

 

“Er, there’s something you should know about Harry.  He’s a w… I know this might sound strange, but he’s a… wizard.”

 

“Don’t worry, Dudley, I happen to be one myself.  And a damn sight better than Harry!” 

 

George looked up at Harry and winked.  Hermione let out a small giggle, and even Harry couldn’t hold back a small smile. 

 

“So, why do you want to speak to me?” Dudley asked gruffly.

 

“Because I thought it would be prudent to check up on little Harry, as they agreed to stop dating each other, and I want to make sure he’s keeping up his end of the bargain.  I know she came to collect him last week, because she was chosen as his escort – against my wishes I might add.  I just want to make sure they’ve stopped their shenanigans with each other, like they promised… Were you actually there when she turned up?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

As Dudley’s voice said this, both the twins looked at Harry pointedly, and Ron’s eyes had widened.

 

“Harry!” Hermione chastised.  George grinned at her, and the voices from the parchment continued. 

 

“Really? Oh, that is good news.  You don’t mind playing informant on our Harry, do you?  You don’t mind the idea of him getting into trouble if he gets too friendly with my sister again?”

 

“Not at all—he deserves it.  And I can say that he definitely hasn’t been keeping his promise.  They were even worse this time than when she last picked him up.”

 

Harry kept his gaze on the parchment, starting to feel sick and refusing to acknowledge the expressions that he knew would be on Hermione and Ron’s faces.  This wasn’t fair.  Why did this have to come up?

 

“You don’t say…” George’s voice continued.  “Look, Dudley, I know this may sound a little strange, but could I have details please? I want Harry to understand that I’m not just guessing: that I know exactly what he did to my sister.”

 

“Er… okay.  Well, as soon as they could, they had their arms around each other, and then they were snogging with tongues and everything.  He had his hands all over her, and she… are you sure you want me to say all this? You won’t get angry with me will you?”

 

“No, of course not!  I don’t believe in shooting the messenger.  And, please, tell me exactly what she was doing as well.  Harry should’ve stopped her; he should’ve known better than to let her… what was she doing?”

 

“She had her hands all over him as well, and they were pressed right up against each other.  I’ve never seen anyone kiss like that.  Even on that first day I saw them, it wasn’t this bad.  This time, they were really going for it, like they could’ve just started shagging there and then on the stairs.  They were even moaning in each other’s mouths.  And I could see that Harry had got a boner from it; she was rubbing her leg up against it…well, I guess he was rubbing himself on her leg just as much as she was rubbing him.  When they finally stopped, they were both breathing really hard, like they’d been running or something, and they looked really flushed.”

 

Harry felt mortified.  Resting his head in his hands, he prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him whole, or even better, for Voldemort to just turn up and finish him off.  He was startled when he heard Fred announce, “There’s more to come, yet!”

 

Harry waited in dread for the next revelation to come from the direction of the table.

 

“That’s very… illuminating, Dudley.  Thank you.”

 

“I guess things have heated up since she stayed over that night.”

 

“Er… Dudley, what night was that?”

 

“The last time she took him out for the day, she stayed over.”

 

“Bloody hell!” Ron interrupted.  “Harry, why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Harry could hear Fred and George chuckling once more, but he remained with his head bowed, steadfastly refusing to react.

 

The transcript continued.  “Are you sure about this?” George asked Dudley.

 

“Yes.  I don’t know exactly what they got up to, but he left his window open.  I couldn’t hear anything that was said, but I did hear a lot of noises—sex noises.  And they must be doing kinky stuff too, ‘cause Harry even cried out in pain at one point.  I know it was Nymphadora because, afterwards, I saw her in the corridor when she went to use our loo: she had tripped over and made a huge bang… Is she always that clumsy?”

 

“Yes, that sounds like my clumsy Nymphadora.  That sneaky little… and pain too!  Well, well, well, this has been a revelation-packed phone call.  I see I’m going to have to have words with a couple of people.”

 

“Are you going to beat him up then?”

 

“Wizards don’t exactly beat each other up, Dudley; what we do to each other is much worse.  He’s certainly going to regret that I’ve found out his dirty little secrets.”

 

“Good.  And, if you want me to spy on Harry again, I’ll be more than willing to.”

 

“Thank you very much.  Just keep your eyes peeled all the time, Dudley.  If I ever need to find out anything else about Harry, I’ll be sure to give you a call.  You really are one fantastic sneak.  I look forward to doing business with you in the future, my dear fellow!  Goodbye then.”

 

“Bye,”

 

“Finere,” George said, and Harry could hear the parchment being taken from the table and rolled up.  “Well, Harry, what do you have to say for yourself?”

 

“Nothing,” Harry muttered between his fingers, still not making any move to take his hands from his face.

 

“You’re not even going to tell us about the kinky things you got up to with Tonks?” Fred asked.

 

“We didn’t do anything like that.  I… we… Tonks was just a bit clumsy…”

 

To Harry’s annoyance, this left the others chuckling in amusement.

 

“You didn’t lie to us because you enjoyed kissing Remus Lupin, did you, Harry?” George asked.

 

“I think that’s bloody obvious from the transcript!” Ron exclaimed, and Harry winced at the tone of disgust in his voice.  How could his best mate, of all people, judge him just because of one lousy kiss?

 

“You could at least try to deny it!” Hermione added.

 

Harry finally raised his head to glare at her, blushing madly.  “What’s the point?”

 

When Hermione didn’t answer, Fred asked, “Was he better at it than Tonks?”

 

Yet again, Harry clamped his lips tight.  At his refusal to answer, Ron started making choking noises.  Fred and George looked at each other, grinned mischievously, and then Fred turned back to face Harry.

 

“Would you kiss him again?”

 

“Without the Polyjuice?” George added, and the pair of them both rolled up laughing, not expecting the question to be taken seriously.

 

Glancing at Ron, Harry could see that his friend was desperately willing him to answer.  Then both Fred and George slowly turned their heads, surprise evident on their faces that Harry hadn’t instantly denied it when he had the chance.  Feeling that this had gone far enough, Harry stood up.

 

“I’m going back to Hogwarts,” he announced stonily.

 

“You’d kiss him without Polyjuice?” Ron asked incredulously.  “Ugh!”

 

“Ron, please leave it alone,” Harry insisted as he grabbed his coat from the back of the chair.

 

“I bet you wouldn’t have sent Hedwig back, even if we hadn’t owl-napped her!” George laughed.

 

At these words, Harry suddenly began to feel very angry.  If it wasn’t for Fred and George, he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.  He wouldn’t have to be answering these stupid questions and embarrassing himself like this. 

 

“Yes, I would’ve sent Hedwig back!” he snapped.  “I would’ve told Remus that I wasn’t comfortable to have him turning up as Tonks.  But I didn’t get the chance, did I?  If I had, none of this would be an issue!”

 

To Harry’s frustration, his outburst had left Fred, George and Ron chuckling in their seats.  They were laughing at him!  He felt his eyes begin to burn, and he hastily reminded himself that they didn’t know the rest of what had happened that night; they had no idea how much it annoyed him, and they only thought that what had happened between him and Remus was just one big joke.

 

Hermione stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “I think this has gone far enough.”

 

“You’ve got to be joking!” Fred laughed.

 

“This has all the makings of a goldmine!” George added.

 

“Don’t you think that’s a little unfair on Harry?”

 

“But…” the twins both protested.

 

“But nothing!” Hermione said sternly, glaring at them.  “We should all promise not to say a word of this to anyone.”

 

“Why?” Ron asked.

 

“Because it’s no longer just an issue of Remus taking Polyjuice and kissing Harry,” she pointed out.  “If Harry’s developed a crush on Remus because of all this, it’s not fair to tease him.”

 

“Do you, Harry?” George asked, his face dancing with amusement.  “Do you have a crush?”

 

Harry glared, pulling on his coat and refusing to answer.  All the while, Hermione continued to rant on at Fred and George, this time pointing out that they should be showing a little more consideration to their benefactor.  To Harry’s relief, this reminder of the financial help he had given them seemed to shut them up.

 

“I don’t get it, at all!” Ron muttered, shaking his head as they left the shop.  “Harry, we’re going to have a bit of a talk when we get back to Hogwarts…”

 

~~~