WHAT??!! -By: Haruka's Foot rated: pg-13
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Disclaimers: The Characters "Haruka and Michiru" Belong to Takeuchi Naoko-sama.
My style is funny, so characters will be out of character... =Þ
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"UGG!!!..... must ... find...entertain...ment..." Haruka managed to say out of complete boredom.
Haruka was shacked up at one of the most expensive Hotels In Southern California with her race team.
She completed the three races she came to San Francisco for, and was staying at the Hotel just for tonight then she was going to leave in the morning. She wanted to leave tonight to go back home to Michiru, but there were no planes scheduled to go to Japan at this hour, so she got pissed, and told the attendant where to go, then she was escorted out by security.
Her last race was a few hours ago and won it of course. Now she was stuck in her hotel room with nothing to do, and no where to go. One of the main reasons she couldn't do anything was due to the huge swarm of reporters and camera crews from nearby television stations and sports networks that were in their "search and destroy" mood to find the hotel room where Haruka was, and try to get a few words with the "wonder woman" or as they would say-thought "wonder man!!"
She wanted to at least go out and have a little bit of fun seeing as how she couldn't go back to Japan until tomorrow. It was her last night out in the city that she always forgot the name of quite often, and she couldn't go anywhere because she would be hounded by the media downstairs.
"I want to go out but I can't.." Haruka started saying to herself, "..I can't because of all these STUPID IDIOTS who wont leave, and I can't even remember the STUPID name of this STUPID city, and there's nothing on the STUPID FRICKIN TV, so I can't FRICKIN do anything around here cuz there's nothing to FRICKIN DO!!!!!..... AND I'M ALL OUT OF PEPSI DAMNIT!!!!" Haruka yelled out loud throwing herself down onto the nice plush couch she was pacing in front of.
"DAMNIT" she said to her self again... then she was interrupted by a thick soft feminine voice-
"Well the night is still young, you can still do plenty of other .... Thingzzzzz..." The voice seemed to emphasized "Things" in a sexy way making Haruka feel kinda tingly, but only for a millisecond. Haruka then whirled around in her comfy position to face the figure that said this to her.
What she saw was a fairly tall woman with long curly brown hair, wearing a tight black skirt with a fuzzy soft-pink sweater. The woman had a chisled jaw line and high cheek-bones. She was standing near the door way of the room holding a grocery bag when she sat it down and shut the door.
"Who the fuck are you! How did you find - get in my room!!" Haruka said expressing in her facial features she was not amused by this intruding stranger.
"Well the things I've heard about you are true... so feisty!" The woman said with a lispy kind of of voice that seemed to drag out the last word of every sentence she said "Well I'll introduce myself Mr. Tenoh, my name is Terry DeFrane. I was walking by and heard someone yelling, and I noticed that the door was open just a little so I decided that I would peek in to see if anything bad was happening, then I saw it was you just before you sat down so I decided to come and ... "Cheer" you up a little." Terry said with a broad smile, but it suddenly faded...
Haruka thought that she must not have shut the door all the way because she was too busy running to the phone to call Michiru and then started cursing herself for not making sure it was closed....damnit..."Now I have to deal with some American lunatic..." she thought
"Thanks for the concern but I'm fine so you can take your crap and leave." Haruka said in a not-so-nice manner and crossed her arms on her chest and looked at Terry in a way that made Terry's expressions look like a small child being scolded for having their hand caught in the cookie jar....
"Welll.. I was just going to say that I can help you get outta here without having people barge around you asking you questions... and I know my way around the city, I just wanted to help you out...and maybe have a little fun..." Terry's sad face then turned into a stern pissed off expression " ...but I guess your "too" busy 'boo-hooing' about it..." Terry emphasizing the "boo-hooing" by making a sad face with her index finger trailing from her right eye to her chin in a mocking way "..and I offer to help you get outta here and all you do is act like a fuckin DICK-WAD!!! God your an ass-hole!!! I hope you have a nice night of jacking-off to your trophies seen as how that's what you probably WERE going to do anyways!!!.... COCK!!!!" Terry said loudly but not to the full effect of a scream. Terry then picked up her bag of groceries and slammed the door shut...
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"Der..." was what Haruka's mind was thinking, she never has been talked to in such a manner as this woman she just met 2 minutes ago! "That stupid bee-otch!!!" Haruka thought.... but then she started to feel like an ass-hole like Terry just told her that she was.... "Oh damnit!!!" and she opened the door and walked briskly to the figure that was trying to open her door down the hall.
Prying herself between the door and the woman in the fuzzy sweater,
"Hey, sorry for being an ass back there, please... get me outta here!" Haruka said followed by a smile that could melt buttah!!!
"Oh.. I've see that you came around... well let me just put my "crap" away and we'll be on our way." Terry said happily and in a sarcastic way.
She opened her door and made a gesture for Haruka to go in before her. Haruka walked in the room but couldn't see much of anything then the lights went on and she only saw a few articles of clothing laying around here and there, nothing too spectacular.
"You can come in and make yourself comfy for a few minutes then well be on our way."
"ok"
Haruka sat down in a chair and folded her hands and rested her chin on them, looking around the room to see if anything interesting was about, then she heard a loud *CRASH* like glass being dropped and she jumped to her feet!
"Don't get up I just bumped into a couple plates, I'll clean it up later... I'm gonna go into the bedroom now to get your disguise"
"My disguise??" Haruka thought but Terry came back to her and handed Haruka a coat and a wig....
"A wig?? why do you have a wig?? Gah!! I'm not wearing this!!!"
"Uh.... the wig is just something I keep around... uh it was a gag-gift from one of my friends. Don't worry all you need to do is put the wig on and the coat!!! they will never suspect a thing! come on!!! let me help.."
Haruka realized she was right so she bowed her head and put on the long -red haired wig, then got up and put on the long black felt coat.
"There..." Terry said not really looking at Haruka, she just wanted to get out on the town!
"uh...ok... but I'm gonna ditch this stuff in my car ...." Haruka started but was interrupted by Terry.
" Not your car they will suspect its you.. were gonna take MY car!!! Terry stated.
"But.."
"No buts about it Mr.!!! come on lets go!!"
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Haruka felt so ridiculous in this disguise... she felt and looked all trashy, the wig wasn't combed so the hair on it was all gross looking and ratty, and the coat just looked horrible with her dark green dress pants and tan blazer under it. But sure enough it worked, they made there way thru the hotel without any trouble... well there were a few glances but they were all like " what the hell is that piece doing in here ... must be a prostitute."
When they made it too the parking lot Haruka took off the wig and coat and handed them to the woman walking beside her.
"Where's your car?"
"Over there.." Terry pointed to a huge black truck that was jacked up on huge tires.
"What is that!!!??" Haruka said in amazement.
"That's my Beast!!!"
"I'll say it is... you should let me drive it..."
"no-way!"
"come on .. "
"You probably haven't ever driven something like that before! its hard to handle.. you might run over an old lady or something..." Terry said
"So!" Haruka flashed her a coy look...
"Ill let you drive on the way back"
"Yay!"
* *****************************
"Jeez you need a ladder to get up into this thing" Haruka said sarcastically to Terry who just buckled herself in and started the Huge truck.
"It purrs like a kitten." Terry commented.
"Yah.. I think I might have to get me one of these!!!!" Haruka said happily.
"Well lets go hit the town!"
Terry was a very good driver... quite good in fact. They just started to cruise around in the ferocious sized vehicle in the city at first, then Haruka said that they should just go and find some place to hang out.
Haruka noticed that there were a lot of hookers around this area of town, some of them looked quite awkward in there outfits like one was really tall and masculine looking.... strange...
Haruka was having fun, but she was kinda getting mad at herself because she started to find Terry to be quite attractive. It always made Michiru jealous when she would flirt with other women, But hey she was gonna have some fun tonight... nothing to bad, so she decided to flirt with Terry while she looked for a big enough parking spot to park the truck...
"So where we goin' sweet-cheeks.." Haruka said looking at Terry realizing that was the most cheesiest thing that has ever came outta her mouth.. "Sweet-cheeks??" she thought.
Terry looked at her and blushed a little then said: " Oh just to this bar.. it's really cool... it's late out so most of the neat places are either closed or are jammed packed and I don't wanna go somewhere where it's too crowded..."
"Of course not.." Haruka said smiling and gave Terry a wink.
Terry winked back and parked the Truck. Both got out and started heading for the entrance of the Bar which was called "The Pink Kitty"
"The Pink Kitty... that's a weird name for a bar." Haruka said.
"Yeah... its one of my favorite places to come too, I think you'll like it a lot." Terry said and opened the door where music came blasting out making Haruka flinch.
"Geez you would think it was loud enough in here" Haruka yelled in Terry's ear.
"OW!!!!! ... yah .. try not to yell too loud in peoples ears!!" Terry said putting a finger in her ear and wiggling it around then shoving Haruka playfully on the shoulder.
"Hehe. Haruka said said but was drowned out by the music but Terry knew what she said and stuck her tongue out in response.
Haruka didn't really like this sort of place, there were a lot of weird looking people dancing around, dressed up in strange clothing, dirty dancing.... Terry grabbed Haruka's hand and led her to the bar and sat down. Terry was seated next to a man with a hot pink mohawk wearing a blue and purple polka-dotted dress.
Haruka was seated next to another man with blue and green pigtails, wearing a pair of black plastic pair hot pants and ablack tube top. He was also covered in gold glitter and was finishing smoking a cigarette.
Haruka and terry flirted together for about a half hour when the man sitting next to Haruka began to speak to her.
"Hey there sexy." The man next to her said "what?"
"I said ' hello there sexy'.... hi my names Ralph."
"Hi... uh... I'm Haruka... nice to meet you I guess." Haruka said with a frightened look on her face.
"HI RALPH!!!" giggled Terry and she got up and hugged the man in pig tails.
"Hey Terry, Haven't seen you in a while, how have ya been baby?" Ralph said letting go of Terry.
"Oh I'm fine. I didn't even notice it was you with your new hair do! oh there was nothing else much to do around the hotel so I picked up a friend," Terry started motioning to Haruka
" and decided to drop in here. The guy sitting next to me is kinda creepy... ya know him?" motioning to the man with the pink mohawk.
"Oh him.... I think he said his name was Ted, but asked to have people call him Jenny." Said Ralph
"Jenny??" Haruka Thought to herself... "What a strange country..."
The Bartender came over to Haruka and asked her if she wanted anything.
"Oh... uh... just get me a Pepsi." Haruka responded.
"Okie dokie." said the bartender.
"Only a Pepsi Mr. Tenoh???" Said Terry Smiling wide eyed at her.
"Yah, don't feel like drinking tonight, need to get up early tomorrow to leave for Japan."
"Japan!!! Dude awesome!!! " Ralph cried, " I always wanted to go there!"
"Oh." said Haruka.
Haruka just sat there sipping her Pepsi and listening to Ralph and Terry talk about things, when she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned around and almost spit out the Pepsi she just sipped into her mouth.
It was a man covered in a silver paint all over his body with a blonde wig on wearing huge cheap glue on eyelashes. He was wearing nothing but a pair of Silver colored thongs. Haruka's eyes almost popped out of her head, and the man extended a hand to her,
"Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!! Come out on the floor with me and lets get our Grooooovvvveee thang on!!!! "
"EXCUSE ME??!!!" Haruka said quite loudly, and she continued, "No Thanks... uh.. what ever you are..."
The Silver Stallion then drooped his head and waddled away....
"Gah!!!" Haruka thought, she was getting kinda uneasy now and felt kinda weirded out.
"Awww, why did you turn him down!! He wanted to shake ' n bake with ya!" Terry said.
"Probally because I don't like to "Shake and Bake" with men. I think its about time I leave here, this place is weird." Haruka said to Terry.
" Ohhhh.... Crappp.... I thought you knew..." Terry said with her face realizing Haruka probably hasn't ever been to a place like this before.
"Oh crap what??"
"I thought you would like this kinda place... I
thought you , I thought you were...... were... uh--"
"Thought I was what???"
" Gay."
"WHAT!!!??"
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Haruka Grabbed Terry and said a quick "Goodbye" to Ralph and rushed outside.
"You thought I was gay?" Haruka started.
"Well yeah. I don't know it just felt that way." Terry replied.
"Well then why were you flirting with me if you thought I was gay?"
"Because I'm GAY."
"......" Haruka opened her mouth trying to say something but nothing came out, then she looked away trying to let what was happening sink in...
"ok so you think I'm gay, but I was flirting with you, and you were flirting back, but you are gay.... soo..."
"Are you that blind!!!!" Terry said and took off her hair...which was a wig, and revealed that Terry was bald and showed that Terry was very much a man.
"Oh my god!!!! Your a man Terry!!!!!"
"YAH!!!! duh!! gee, did I really look like a woman to you!! its not that hard to figure these things out!"
"But.. but...but...I was attracted to you... oh god!" Haruka stumbled
"Oh gee well if your not gay then don't go around being freaked out by a man, I won't hit on you anymore."
"Well Terry, actually I am gay!" Haruka said a few moments later after her brain just absorbed what had just happened.
"What?"
"You have to promise you wont tell ANYONE!! Seriously, it could hurt my career....--" Haruka started
"Don't worry brother I wont tell anyone your gay, your secret is safe with me!" Terry said smiling humbly
"Well, its not all exactly that, Well I am gay but... uh... I'm female... not male."
"WHAT!!!??? Female???!!"
"Yah, My name is Haruka Tenoh, and I have a girlfriend back in Japan her name is Michiru." Haruka said and got out her wallet and gave a disturbed Terry a picture with Haruka and Michiru both wearing dresses and looking very much like a woman that she was.
"I'm sorry! I thought you were a man!!! ...." Terry said... but then a few seconds flew by and they both looked at each other and started to laugh uncontrollably..
"HAHAHA this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me!!! Ohh Pa-lease, I Terry DeFrane attracted to a woman!!" He laughed and flicked his little gay wrist toward Haruka.
"Haha yah... same here."
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Back in Japan, Haruka pulled up to Her house and noticed her beautiful Michiru planting some flowers near a pond in there front yard. Haruka jumped out and ran to her sea goddess and hugged her tightly.
"-Gasp- loosen it up dear I can't breath" Michiru's soft loving voice responded to the death grip.
"Oh sorry.. " Haruka said and continued to plant kisses on her forehead.
"Oh I missed you so much Haruka!!" Michiru said pulling out of the embrace taking her lover hands in her own.
"I won all of my races!"
"I know I know....You already told me dear."
"Ohhh yeah... well I thought I should tell you again. Just to see if you were listening." Haruka said giving her lover a mischievous grin as they entered the house to wear they sat on the sofa.
"Well I was!!--Sticks out tongue-- So there!! Anyways... how was the rest of your trip."
Haruka froze a little "Should I tell her ? or shouldn't I?" this was what Haruka was considering on the plane ride home. She knew Michiru would think it was funny but would probably get punished someway or another because it was still flirting... oh might as well!
"Oh it was fun... here let me tell you......" and Haruka began her tale.
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After waiting close to 8 minutes of hearing Michiru Hysterically Laugh her Brains out and watching her roll around on the floor, she finally got up embarrassed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
During and after dinner Michiru kept making small little jokes about Haruka's "incident"
"Did he have a nice ass?" Michiru asked her.
"Yah it was REAL nice." Haruka said sarcastically.
Bed time came quick and Haruka went to the bathroom to brush her teeth like the good little girl that she was. When she went to go to her room she and Michiru shared she found a pillow and a blanket waiting outside for her...
"Oh GEEZ! Come on Michiru!! Let me in" Haruka banged on the door
"NOPE!!! Go away!! This is what you get for flirting with a transvestite!!" Michiru said playfully.
"FINE THEN I'LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!" Haruka said a little sternly but not too much.
"Ill just sleep right here in front of the door!! No way am I sleeping on the couch! I won't giver her that much satisfaction! Bwa ha." Haruka thought to herself as she made her little nest in front of the door.
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Later on, close to morning, Haruka woke up to a thud noise and a body falling on top of her.
"Aaaaah!!!!! Haruka!!!!! Damnit!! why did you have to sleep in front of the door I could have broken my neck!!!" Michiru said pulling herself up from the floor
"Oh great now I have a rug burn too!"
"Haha that's what you get for kicking me out of my bed!!!" and stuck out her tongue and went back to sleep on the floor.