CHAPTER FOUR


SOFTBALL LANGUAGE 101


To become a coach in girl's softball you must first learn softball-speak. Then, if you have time, learn the rules. Most umpires in the lower leagues don't know the rules either and the coaches generally know even less - but they figure that if they yell LOUDER it sounds like they do.
The glossary of softball language is known world-wide. Most of it means nothing, and the players rarely listen to you anyway but it does make a coach sound like he/she is a veteran of the sport.
  • Let me hear a little chatter out there! - Simply put, "Don't go to sleep" or "Stop watching the boy's game over on the next field!"
  • The games over here! - When you KNOW the girls are waiting the boy's game over on the next field.
  • Just pitch strikes! - What pitcher isn't TRYING to throw strikes?
  • Good Eye! - Just what this mean as oppose to "bad eye" no one has ever figured out.
  • Swing if it's good! - In less than one second, an eleven year old is suppose to decide what is good and what isn't. Fat chance! The one they pick will always be the one up in their face.
  • Choke up! - Generally the worst thing a batter can do, but in the history of softball, more hits come after a coach says "choke up" therefore proving it is a good thing.
  • Make it be your pitch. - In reality, any pitch you hit is "your pitch". If you miss it, the coach then yells "make it be your pitch" again.
  • A walk is as good as hit! - Maybe for a coach, but what player would rather walk than hit?
  • We're not playing golf here! - Said after you MISSED that 'rolling-in-the-dirt pitch'. Hit that 'pitch' and the coach will say "way to hang it there".
  • I'll get you in the infield as soon as I can. - Players know this means 'I stink and my only chance is when we at 23 runs behind.'
  • Looked good from here, ump. - Said to make pitcher feel better, thus staving off that change to your other pitcher who is even worse.
  • Hustle! - Told to players needing to go to restroom just before they go 'on-deck'.
  • Hit her in the middle of the chest. - This is where you want throws thrown to. Don't worry however, they never get near the chest.
  • Walk it off - Told to batters who have just been hit by the pitcher who's coach is hollaring "Looked good from here, ump!"
  • Throw the ball! - Almost always yelled at the right fielder who just holds the ball trying to decide where to throw it.
  • Twenty-three runs down, okay, who wants to play on the infield? - The coach's chance to look good, even in defeat.
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