CHAPTER ONE


THE GAME I ALMOST BLEW
(OR WHY YOU DON'T PITCH BY COMMITTEE)

The season has been one of real trial and error. More error than trial.
Then again maybe not.
We began the season with no pitcher and promptly went out and tried almost every player - during a ball game. Umpires didn't like us very much. At one point in the season we told the players - "You're late for a game, YOU pitch". "Skip practice, YOU pitch". "Complain - YOU Pitch". "Strike out - YOU Pitch" It got so bad that when we called timeout to talk to our current "pitcher", our outfields started crying, and begging, "No coach, not me...please!!!"
By mid-season we had found a pitcher of sorts. Her mom had called and said the daughter was out in the backyard 'pitching'. That's was good enough for us.
Somehow we actually won a couple of games (one because a team had less - get that - less pitcher experience than us, and the other win came over a team who's pitcher broke her arm a day or two before we played them - what a break for us.
Now on to the next game.
We were visitors and had an 11 run lead going into the bottom of the final inning. We just might win another game. The team that can't beat its on shadow might do it three games IN A ROW.
Our "pitcher", at least that's what we call the girl that stands in the middle of the field and throws in the direction of the backstop, looked a little tired [she walked four to start the inning] so I changed pitchers, sending in another girl who could generally hit the fence somewhere between first and third.
Great move, she walked three more cutting the lead to seven runs. Now my catcher - a really great player [one of the best catchers in our 13 team league] decides to pick off the girl at third. A normal, routine play, -- EXCEPT -- that her normal third base help is now on the mound --- she OVERTHROWS third into deep left field, scoring all runners.
Now the lead is four and we have NO outs. Pitching change. This girl/pitcher warms up by forgeting to release the ball at the knee - up, up, up the hand goes and the ball sails over the backstop [about 20 feet] and onto the roof of the concession stand.
Not a good sign. Even the next batter is looking for someplace to practice her duck-and-cover drill.
Walk.
Walk.
Hit to first base. Out.
Walk.
Pitcher changed back to our original pitcher. Now I look like the fool.
Strike out. Whew!
Walk.
Hit to right field.
One run in.
Two runs in.
This doesn't look good for the coach, not to say anything about the team.
Here comes the ball.
First baseman(girl) has it. No she doesn't.
Pitcher covers. Gets it.
She turns.
She throws to the catcher.
Lucky for us, the runner can't run (bottom of the order type of player) -
Just in the nick of time, catcher tags her.
We win, We win, We ... "Coach do we get our Cokes now?"
"Coach, did we win?"
"Coach, someone put gum on my glove."
"Coach, I'm not going to be here next week."
"Coach, I can't find my bat. Did you put it in your bag?"
To myself: (I guess nobody noticed I almost blew this.)
Parent: "Close game coach. What were YOU thinking out there?"

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