| Written: September 19th, 2004 8:31 PM As usual, blood rushed to my head, uttering the first words that had stumbled into my head. This was not always the best thing to do, but it was too late now. Sadistically, more cruel words leaped from my mouth into the air. Had I really wanted to say all those curses in front of my family and friends that said they loved me? Well, at this moment, I had thought it was the best plan. Cautiously, as I saw the horrid reactions on their faces, there was only one thought that my mind could process: retreat, and as fast as possible. Rushing through the living room seemed to be the easy part. As my bare feet hit the cold cement porch, I looked back towards the door, and witnessed yet again their faces. Shock would now be imprinted in their minds when my face showed up around them now. Pacing myself, I slowly lowered myself down the steps from my porch, and hurriedly walked down the cracked sidewalk, slowly recalling memories from my childhood, when things in my life hadn�t made a turn for the worst. The sun, just barely setting, leant me his light, for as of now, I had no idea of where I was headed to, or if I would cowardly return back home. My family hated me so. I didn�t understand how some people could actually have so much hatred built up inside of themselves dedicated to one individual. In all actually, I must say, I did in fact know this feeling, as the hatred that had grown inside of myself had been towards the people I had lived with for the majority of my life. In the moments upon living in their house, I slowly felt anger growing inside of me just like when drinking a cup of hot chocolate, as the heat slowly warms you until you are warm to a nice degree. My family, easily said, caused me this feeling. The names they had easily thrown towards me, as I, hurt by their ugliness, was encouraged to do the same, only hold myself back, as doing so would be morally wrong, calling the people who brought you to life, those sort of foul names. Their youngest child, always put in the shadow of his elder brothers, who seemed to always succeed at everything, was ignored as he never accomplished a simple feat of making himself seem excellent in the eyes of his parents. In my mind, I simply found it loving how parents could treat their own flesh and blood to an extent of this, as I slowly grew into the child they never wanted. Even though this child could make wonderful grades, his failure still shined through the cracks in his teeth. The fake smile, altered, was obviously not happy, and the truth, obviously seen through the lies that had been told. My future, very clear in my hazel eyes, was headed to a place no one wanted to be: the failure. Upon all the walking I had done, with all the thoughts that were slowly turning my brain into a hideous work of evil, I had walked into a familiar location. Glancing upwards, lifting my head from it�s usual hung low position, I discovered the house of a friend. Had they ever liked me, I thought to myself, as the answer no slowly drove through my mind. I walked up the stairs, and onto the all-but-familiar stone porch. As my finger fell upon the door bell, the sound filled the house, and the door slowly came open. As I stood my place in front of the house, a face came to view from behind the door, as I hoped I was remembered in her mind. As the screen door was pushed open, she oddly placed her feet in front of mine, and slowly, she wrapped her arms around my frigid body. As she invited me into her home, I slowly felt that I had a friend in the time of need. |
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