Her dark eyes looked into the room and glanced around until they found what they desired, Scythe�Nicholas rather, lying on his bunk. Blonde hair and gray eyes he was the poster boy for gorgeousness and at times it made her knees weak to even look at him. She smiled to herself. He looked so wonderful. She couldn�t help but admit to herself that she was falling in love. He was staring at his arm, at the tattoo that was embedded there. Gervaise stepped into the room, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. �Anything interesting there?� She asked.

He looked over at her with light eyes. God. He got more beautiful each day. He moved his sleeve down quickly when he saw her watching him. Something was bothering him. It didn�t take much for the young French girl to realize that. She hadn�t known him for long but for the time she did, she could tell when something wasn�t right.

�No�not really,� he smiled a little at her. �Hello, Gervaise.�

She moved closer to him. �What is that?� She asked, sitting down beside him and rolling his sleeve back up to look at the scythe shaped tattoo on his arm.

His eyes stayed fixed on her. �You�ve seen it before� I do not think it changed. If it did, it did not tell me.�

�It didn�t change,� she smiled at him and ran her fingers lightly over the tattoo. �Why did you get it of this?�

He stayed quiet for a moment, considering on weather or not to tell her. She looked up at him when he didn�t answer right away and studied his face, her small fingers still delicately tracing around the making on his arm. He swallowed a bit and stared into her dark eyes then broke the gaze and looked down at his arm.

�My employer makes all his associates get them. It is a sign of...loyalty.�

�Loyalty?� She nodded a little but sighed and moved her eyes back to the tattoo. �How�d you get a job like that in the first place?�

She couldn�t understand why anyone would want the job that Nicholas had. He was a murderer. She knew that much. He had killed people before�all the people who he were �bad� but that still didn�t make what he did any better. Her fingers delicately danced around the skin, it was the first time she had actually gotten a good look at it before. Every other time she was too preoccupied with something else to really take notice. She flicked a glance up at him. She knew this wasn�t something he liked talking about but she wanted to know everything she could about him. She was carrying his baby, after all.

�It was a way to forget� forget pain�emotion. That was what I wanted,� he paused for a second. �At the time.�

�Killing people made you forget about pain?� She looked at him. It just didn�t make sense.

�After awhile...you force yourself to forget. You have to...the people I was sent after...were not good people.� She wondered if he was just making up an excuse. �I figured I was doing them a favor, putting them out of the misery I never fully escaped.�

There was still so much about him she didn�t understand. But she knew about wanting to escape pain. She knew that feeling all too well. It was one of the few things they had in common. He hurt other people to rid of his pain whereas she hurt herself. Her eyes studied the tattoo for a moment longer then she brought her lips down to it and planted a kiss on it and continued kissing around the tattoo. Nicholas watched her, his eyes fixed on the small brunette beside him.

�You seem to be in a better mood tonight,� he observed.

She glanced up at him and smiled, �It�s been a good day, that�s all. I woke up this morning and just felt� happy,� she kissed his shoulder.

�I am glad. I would just like for you to be happy,� he smiled at her.

�I am. For once�� she settled down beside him, resting her head on his arm. �How�d your day go?�

He frowned but quickly stopped before Gervaise could even notice. She looked up at him with dark eyes, waiting for an answer, a smile spread across her lips. It had been a long time since she had felt this happy before. It was nice to be able to feel something aside from guilt and pain. It made getting up each morning a little easier.

�All right�� he quickly took the subject off of himself. �What made you happy?�

She thought for a moment. She actually wasn�t sure what had made her so happy. It was a number of things really. Maybe it was the fact that for once in her life she felt content and happy with the way things were going. Or maybe it was because she was falling in love and only just realizing it. It could have been any number of things but she shook her head a little, not ready to voice that option just yet.

�I don't know. When I woke up the first thing I thought of was you, and then the baby. And then how wonderful our lives could be. I didn't let anything ruin that thought all day and it just kept me happy,� she shrugged a little, that was the best she could explain it.

�Gervaise�� he stopped and just nodded instead, like he knew something she didn�t. �I�m glad. Don�t let anything ruin your hopes.� She smiled more and kissed him lightly. His arms went around her and he smiled slightly, also sadly. �I just wish� I had met you earlier.�

�Everything will be fine. You�ll see��

�Maybe they will be,� he nodded again and she believed him when he said that. �Have you thought of any names yet?�

She shook her head, �No,� she laughed slightly. �It took me a month to name my puppy, I don�t think it�ll be any easier to name a baby.� She looked at him. �Have you?�

�Hmm.. I haven�t thought about it much�. Marcus?� He blinked a bit when she saw her shake her head and laughed a little. �What? It�s a perfectly fine name.�

�Marcus� Marc.� She smiled at him. �Nick� Nicholas. Nicholas Jr.�

�I don�t think the child can be spared my name,� he said with a little laugh.

�I love your name��

She leaned upward and kissed him. His lips were so sweet; she could never get enough of them. Her kissed her back slightly, only increasing her desire and she moved a bit closer. It was no wonder she was pregnant. They were interrupted however, by a voice at the door. Both pulled away and looked towards the bunkroom door where Alicorne stood.

�Scythe, someone downstairs wants to talk to you.�

�What?� He looked at her, either not hearing or not wanting to hear what she said.

�I said someone downstairs wants to talk to you,� she shook her head and went back downstairs, having delivered the message.

Nicholas closed his eyes, �Please not now��

Gervaise just looked at him. Something was wrong. Very wrong. She just didn�t know what.

�Who is it?�

He opened his eyes and she could tell the smile that formed was forced, �Could be any number of people,� he looked at her closely. �You should get some rest. You need it more with the child.�

�All right�� she smiled a bit and kissed him one more time. �Good night,� then she slid off the bed and walked across the hall, not seeming to be able to remove the smile from her face and not bothering to care who was waiting for Nicholas downstairs.

She was lying. He couldn�t be dead. He couldn�t.

It wasn�t supposed to happen this way. They were supposed to leave New York together. He was going to take her home again. They were going to raise the baby together and everything was going to be fine. And now he was dead. What had she done to deserve that kind of pain and disappointment? She wanted him back. This wasn�t fair.

She ran down the street, trying not to cry. It wasn�t true. He was still alive. He had to be. No one deserved this kind of pain. Her hand found its way into her pocket and she pulled out a small knife. She slowed to a stop and leaned against a wall, out of breath and staring blankly at the blade. She couldn�t take the pain she was feeling. She needed some kind of release and this was the only way she knew how to do that.

Nicholas wouldn�t want her to do this.

But what did that matter now? He was dead. She fought with herself over using the blade on herself or not until the she forced herself to put the blade away. There had to be something else. Anything else that could stop her from feeling what she was. There had to be. If she couldn�t stop the pain inside by hurting herself she�d find another way too.

�You okay, miss?�

She looked over at the young man who was standing next to her. Shit, how long had he been standing there? Had he seen the blade? No, she didn�t think he had. She swallowed a little and took a deep breath. She had found what could help her rid of the pain. She rarely ever slept with a man when it wasn�t for money and she didn�t have feelings for him but this might help. Feeling used was better than feeling the pain of loosing someone.

�Not sure� maybe you could help me feel better.�

�I�m not sure I know what you mean.�

She tried to smile at him but didn�t succeed very well. What would Nicholas think of her if he knew what she was about to do? Would he even care? Gavin would care if he found out. But it didn�t matter. She was an overused whore and the feeling that her heart was being ribbed from her chest was starting to hurt even more.

�If you think hard enough, I�m pretty sure you know just what I mean,� she slid her hand up and played around with a button on her shirt.

The man still seemed concerned but placed a hand on Gervaise�s shoulder and rubbed it a little, a small, creepy smile spreading across his face. He looked her over a little and nodded slightly. It was too easy to get guys to sleep with a woman. It made her sick to her stomach. They called women whores for sleeping around but if a man did it he was a God.

�Yeah� yeah, I think I know what you mean now,� he cleared his throat and shuffled his foot in the snow a little. �Free, right?�

Gervaise nodded. �Yeah. Free.�

And that was all it took. He had her in the back of the closest alley. No kissing, no foreplay. Just in, out and that was it. When he was finished Gervaise straightened her skirt and took off again down the street. Why didn�t she feel better? Now she just felt like a cheating whore. Sex didn�t help. Being used and mistreated wasn�t helping like she thought it would. Only one thing could help and she knew what that was. Sighing, she took her knife out from her pocket then started crying as she violently slashed at her skin.