Participated in Creative Writing Contest at Satyam.
Rules: - Following words must be used in the essay
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cat
laptop
paper
smarter
tail
easy
coffee
deviation
stumps
jewels
IF MY MOUSE COULD TALK
20 Aug 2005, 1:13 AM.
I am an ardent user of the keyboard and preferably ensconce myself with the key shortcuts rather than the mind-numbing positioning of the mouse and clicks. So if my mouse could talk, I guess it would complain a lot. I would imagine nothing but frenzied inveighs. Let me envisage and put the morose mouse�s monologue for your reading pleasure.
�I wish you were a CAT, at least then I hope you would try preying on me. I really wish I was dead instead of remaining idle on your twentieth century mouse-pad. I rue the fact that incipience of LAPTOP was much later than the year I was modeled. I wish I never existed as everyday I had to face the torture of you ignoring me. Let me call it a day and put my PAPER today as I am not willing to work for you anymore. Why give you a keyboard with all the capability including mine as if I am not a standalone significant component? Why the designer included keyboard shortcuts when I am designed for moving the cursor and clicking? I wish that modeler and the boss that approved this injustice, at the Microsoft Labs, were a little SMARTER. I can cover every pixel in the screen, go diagonal, help you scroll fast, no need to speak of my right clicks � The Right Choice. I cannot fathom the fact you prefer using the noisy keyboard even to perform jobs that are assigned to me albeit knowing my entire faculty. If I have a TAIL, I wish I had a real one; I would wag it now and then to allure you like your pet. All these days when I was made to associate with you out of coercion, I have observed your attitude; I know it is not EASY to satiate you and your extraneous expectations. I know if I really had a tail, you will hold it and put me in the dust bin.
How can you do this to me? I see you all day, I watch you type mails, chit-chat with your colleagues, speak over the phone, type SMS (Thank God! There is no mouse for a mobile phone. I wish it had one so that I have a friend to share my sorrows), pretend to work esp. after lunch when your eyes refuse to stay open or when your superiors pass nearby. I have always stayed on your right side. How can you ignore me for heaven sake? I cannot digest the fact you don�t fall-on me even when one of your hands is busy eating snacks, drinking COFFEE, scratching your head and what not!!! How can you let a born talent like me go waste, not utilize me to the fullest of my potential. You don�t even appreciate nor put to use a highly proficient plug-in like me knowing my potency. Are you Saurav Ganguly?
Not using me is a DEVIATION to the very ethics and nature of technology. If there is a punishment in hell for not utilizing a presented thing at the least to the minimal amount, I bet that your name would be the numero uno in that list. I am not able to comprehend how you chose not to use me. What in the world makes you not to rely on me? I wish I had colorful keys like in a costly Nokia mobile, so you may be enticed to use my keys instead of those on the broad bulky board. I will be a more compact version of the keyboard.
If that was the case, I would have seen the green monster sprout out of the bulky board.
But the reality is beyond words - Unbelievable, disheartening and honestly unfair. How can I stay in a place wherein my abilities are not recognized and appreciated? I am not asking for a fair appraisal but at least a minimal consideration. I am neither a recluse nor a muff. But you make me feel so. You have dampened my ego and I need to draw STUMPS with your association. If I have a pair of STUMPS, I would definitely run away from you.
What in the name of god you get when you use the shortcut keys instead of comfy clicks using me? Are you out of your insipid mind thinking that ALT, SHIFT and CTRL Keys are rare JEWELS adorned and emblazoned in that board? Why don�t you think of me as unembellished beauty? I love to imagine I am given the prominence someday. I will have to wait for that day. Until then, will always be on your right side�
That was rather strange. I am using my mouse when I fill my daily timesheet wherein using the keyboard alone does not help!!! I will try to use my mouse more often at least from now on as I really hope and pray not to think of one thing now � �If my keyboard could talk?�
Shankar Narayanan. Finished at 4:23 AM