| Quotes |
| Ross: "Wait wait wait wait! My foot is stuck in the pocket." Phoebe:"What?" Ross:"I can't get it out!" Phoebe:"That's not something a girl wants to hear." Ross:"No. Come on, don't start." Ross:"Oww!" Phoebe:"What?" Ross:"Stupid balls are in the way!" Chandler: "Alright, I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one? " Monica:"Why won't I be married when I'm 40?!" Chandler:"Oh no no. No. I just meant hypothetically." Monica:"Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40!?" Chandler:"No. No no!" Monica:"No no what is it!? Seriously is there something fundamentally ummarriable about me?!" Chandler:"Uh uh uh." Monica:"Well!" Chandler:"Dear God! This this parachute is a knapsack! (rolls off couch)" Joey: "Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!" Phoebe:"Wait, really? cause mine get me out of tickets." Monica:"You know when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse - but NO, it was to be looked at but never played with.. Chandler:"My grandmother used to say the exact same thing to me." Joey:"Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls, ohh." Chandler:"Yes it is at OFFICE MAX." Joey:"Hey! That's the day after I start menstruating!" Joey:"This isn't mine." Ross:"Hey, hey, hey, I get to choose my best man. I want both you guys." Joey and Chandler:"Really?" Ross:"Both you guys should be up there with me. I mean you two are...are my... I mean I'm lucky to have just one good...." Chandler:"Thanks man." Joey:(starting to cry)"I've got to go check something, okay" (runs off to corner) Chandler:"What a baby." Ross:"Total wuss." (both wipe away tears) Joey:"What are you doing?" Ross:"I uh reorganized the fridge. See, um - bottom shelf, meats and dairy (empty); middle shelf, fruits and vegetables (a lone apple); and top shelf, expired PRODUCTS." Chandler:"Hey you know what, I got two tickets to tonight's Rangers game - you wanna come with me?" Rachel:"Cute guys in little shorts - sure." Chandler:"Actually it's a hockey team so it's angry Canadians with no teeth." Rachel:"Well that sounds fun too. Thank you." Chandler:"Okay." (they hug) Chandler:"Have you ever been with a woman?" Rachel:"What! Chandler what is the matter with you?" Chandler:"So there is no good time to ask that question." Monica:"Anyway I tried, but I couldn't bend that way. So...(looks at Joey)" Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe (looking at Joey):"Ewwwwwwww!" Joey:"That's right, I stepped up! ... She's my friend and she needed help! ... If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!" Chandler: "Hey look, it's a monkey with a Ross on it's ass." Monica: "And that's a shut-down!" Joey & Chandler: "Shut-OUT!" Ross to Paolo: "I think I speak for everyone when I say [slams door in Paulo's face]" Ross to Paolo: "Do you know what 'crapweasel' means?" Monica: "I'm that stupid" Rachel: "I'm not too bright either" Ursula: to another waiter "Doesn't this come with a side salad?" Ross: "Susan, go deep" Ross: "What about Pheobe's birthday?" Joey: "Is that today? What are the odds?!" {long pause} Ross: "You take your time." {Joey gets it} Chandler: "Theeeeeere it is!" Chandler: "Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to magical land of Narnia." Joey: "Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling." Chandler: "Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way." Monica: "I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?" Monica: "That'll teach you to lick my muffin." Ross: I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?! Chandler: Because you�ve only known her for six weeks! Okay, I�ve got a carton of milk in my fridge I�ve had a longer relationship with! Ross: Look guys, when I�m with her it�s-it�s-it�s like she brings this-this this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y�know? Chandler: And I love the milk! But, I�m not gonna some British girl to move in with me! Joey, you say things now. Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her! Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personality. Well, they�re all back! Y�know? And she�s picked up like nine new ones! Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! There�s people here! Russ: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor. Ross: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma. Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. Ross: What do I do now? Joey: You play hard to get. Ross: She already lives in London. Joey: Then you go to Tokyo. Joey: What's in it? Waiter: Goat cheese, watercrest and panchetta Joey: That's not food! |